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Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20111106

Nov 6 2011

"I'm sorry. It's not you. It's me. We're just in different places. I'm here, and you're... polluting my fucking life like some oily anal discharge."

 or click here

Way to let her down easy, STM.

Added later: Our favorite comment? "While that was quite an awful way to dump someone, my friend still holds the record, in my opinion. She told her boyfriend at the time 'Welcome to Dumpsville, baby. Population: YOU.'"

Posted by Karen Slavick-Lennard at 10:28

12 comments:

  1. Anonymous6 November 2011 at 13:58

    Probably one of the most amazing break up lines ever. Probably promptly followed by something being thrown at him but who cares. Gotta love STM

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  2. Anonymous6 November 2011 at 14:22

    I can see why all the ladies love STM quite the charmer

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  3. DiscCritic6 November 2011 at 16:52

    It was so subtle...and then the "oily anal discharge" line. Excellent utterings as always! xD

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  4. Anonymous6 November 2011 at 16:59

    While that was quite an awful way to dump someone, my friend still holds the record, (in my opinion). She told her boyfriend at the time "Welcome to Dumpsville, baby. Population: YOU."

    ReplyDelete
  5. Joshua Brown6 November 2011 at 18:02

    Well, geez, I hope he wasn't thinking about you! :)

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  6. Meg Smith6 November 2011 at 18:37

    This is the first time I have read any of STM's ramblings and I've read the first month so far, literally laughing out loud. Love it!

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  7. Mo6 November 2011 at 19:41

    Advice for Meg Smith: read them slowly to savor every nuance and above all, do NOT eat or drink while reading. Your computer screen will thank you.

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  8. Sandy Bergamin7 November 2011 at 03:16

    My favourite would be one I saw on Smartphowned would be:
    "Hey babe, wanna see a magic trick?"
    "Sure"
    "Poof! You're single"

    I also love his insults. They're so... unique. And disgusting, too!

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  9. Anonymous9 November 2011 at 22:54

    My favorite? A girlfriend of mine moved all of her stuff out and left her boyfriend (at the time) a note that simply read: "Moved out. Obvi."

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  10. Jaethen11 November 2011 at 16:21

    We had a pretty good one in my area a couple years ago. This guy got his cheating girlfriend on a morning radio show for Valentine's day, made it sound almost as if he was going to propose, but his big, important question was: "How long is it going to take you to get your crap out of my house? Because you have until Sunday." Total riot!

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  11. Unknown19 November 2011 at 01:41

    :-)

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