"My snorkle! My snorkle! Judge won't like it if I don't have my snorkle! You PLANT it... Don't want baby snorkles."
"I'd like to tell you what a wonderful person you are. But that would make me a septic gash of a cunt who quite frankly had no concept of right or wrong."
"Ooh! My balls are itchy. Have you got the cheese grater?"
"Awesome. Teddy bears bungie jumping."
These are all brilliant. :)
ReplyDeletePerhaps the snorkle is a condom? Don't want the judge (you or other woman) to be mad, we don't want babies...?
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't use that cheese grater in the kitchen anymore.
ReplyDeletehmm maybe snokle is another woman... judge is his wife...
ReplyDeleteand well she deffo wouldnt like it if he had babies with someone else?
where is there any video of this hilarity? this is instantaneously classic
ReplyDeleteBy the way, on this night, we were going to family court the next day to fight for holiday visitation with Adam's kids. So, interesting about the judge.
ReplyDeleteBTW septic means american person
ReplyDeleteBTW septic in England means some thing that is infected / filled with pus...
ReplyDelete"Ooh! My balls are itchy. Have you got the cheese grater?"
ReplyDeleteThat's my favourite STMism.
a septic gash of a cunt.. bloody hell.. i can't even think of that when i'm awake..
ReplyDeletelove the blog btw.. it's so brilliant cause i can relate to the british language.. i keep pissing myself of laughter! keep it up!
When I dream of the life I dream of having, I say this to anyone who even vaguely pisses me off: "I'd like to tell you what a wonderful person you are. But that would make me a septic gash of a cunt who quite frankly had no concept of right or wrong."
ReplyDeleteI just discovered this blog and I think the whole building heard me laugh hysterically when I read "Have you got a cheese grater?"
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Trev
That is so funny! I broke out with laughter!
ReplyDeleteToo funny! To all the people out there who think it's fake, you obviously have never had the pleasure of living with a sleeptalker. My cousin (a garage door installer) once burst into my bedroom after a night of drinking demanding to know where his door sections were! When I told him he was sleeping, he got irate, stomped down the hallway and slammed the door. I told him about it the next morning and he was mortified! Keep it up, this has been the highlight of my day!
ReplyDeleteCompletely fake. I live with a sleep talker/walker. This is not real. How interesting that they are trying to profit by this scam. Another ruse by more of this "I'm a star , glory hog, I should be paid for nothing" generation. OF course this comment will never be posted.
ReplyDeletereal or not its funny and original
ReplyDeleteMy hsband talks in his sleep as well and he frequetly refers to pink animals. Its really funny.
ReplyDeleteIt's totally real. I have bouts of these too occasionally. I once got up to look in my parent's closet. When they asked me what I was doing I told them I was looking for some water.
ReplyDeleteIt's totally possible to talk like this in your sleep.
Real or not..they won't get rich as elton john doing this..so what is it to you?!
ReplyDeleteBTW...I Love It!!!!! Really funny stuff!! =D
This blog is great! Keep it up, Karen!
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Totally agree with Anonymous of 23 January 2010 12:74. My Aunt sleep talks. One time she was totally out and she just suddenly said "One, two, three, GO!" We asked her about it later and she said she had a dream that her daughter dropped a grape and she was making said daughter go pick it up. I totally love this blog, by the way. Thanks to both Karen and Adam for sharing STM with the world.
ReplyDeleteThis seems so real! I married a sleep talker and have had my own bouts of sleeptalking. One night I told my roommate in college "I CANT! There is NO Room. All the back doors are full of dead animals and there is no room for your bike"
ReplyDeleteMy husband one time got out of bed, walked over to my side of the room and stood in front of the window that was closed with the shade and the curtain both closed. I asked him what he was doing and he responded "Trying to figure out who is shooting at us" When I asked him to come to bed he turned aburtly and said "NOT UNTIL I KNOW FOR SURE".
I am telling you, sleep talking/walking is very very real and crazy
The itchy ball grater is a classic.... you need that one on shirts....
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