Apr 29 2011

"If you look at me again, I'm gonna bugger your fucking eyeballs and eat them, so you stare at my shit."

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"From now on, papaya shall be known as cunt-fruit. Yes. Nasty cunt-fruit. Mushy and smelly cunt-fruit. You don't like the word, don't make me say it again."

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And a typically peaceful awakening:

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STM:	POOPS!
ADAM:	(wrenching his back) Ow!
KAREN:	What did you say?
ADAM:	Ow!
KAREN:	I heard the "ow" part.
ADAM:	Ow, hurt my back.
KAREN:	Oh, Baby. Oh, no.
ADAM:	Get me a replacement back— WHAT WAS THAT!
KAREN:	That was me, Baby.
ADAM:	OW-how!
KAREN:	I was trying to touch your head like this—
ADAM:	You just put your finger in my eye!
KAREN:	I can't see anything, and, let me show you, I was just trying to just pet your forehead, and I—
ADAM:	You did— You did— You did that and— Oh, my eye!
KAREN:	What did you think it was going to be?
ADAM:	Well, it's dark, I was not expecting anything, let alone a finger in the eye as a way of being nice to me.
KAREN:	It was not in your eye!
ADAM:	Baby, where's your finger? (taking it on a tour) Okay: head, ear, nose, eye.
KAREN:	No, it's not in your eye.
ADAM:	It is!
KAREN:	It was on the top of your eye. Not in your eye.
ADAM:	Baby, are we going to argue about the position?
KAREN:	Yeah.
ADAM:	Because eye is eye: top, middle, bottom, left, or right. Okay?
KAREN:	Oh, I'm sorry, I love you.
ADAM:	Why do you always say "I love you" after you say you're sorry for hurting me? It's husband battery.
KAREN:	No.
ADAM:	Mmm. Second degree.

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Karen's notes: This post has been pre-scheduled. We're in Bruges!