20121022

Oct 22 2012

"It was such a good idea giving the guinea pigs wings. Flappy flappy flappy. Fat bats! Fat bats!"
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And here is Adam's awakening, with a fearful shouted query concerning our cheese status (transcription below):


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I'd like to preface this reveal by saying, in my own defense, my entire palate is not white trash. But, nostalgia goes a long way. Also, Kraft singles are delicious.
STM: NO CHEESE!
KAREN: Was that... "no cheese" or "old cheese?'
ADAM: I honestly can't help you. You're gonna have to review the recording. What I do know is that I've been left with a feeling of stress.
KAREN: Stress?
ADAM: So maybe what I shouted was stressful.
KAREN: Well, what's more stressful: no cheese, or old cheese? Personally, in my world, no cheese would be way more stressful than old cheese.
ADAM: Hmm. Having not heard the recording, and only knowing the last bit being "EESE," I would have to assume "old."
KAREN: Really? What makes you say that?
ADAM: Nope, nope, nope. I'm saying that because I'm falling asleep. Sorry.
KAREN: Well, you said something sensicle, though. Usually, if somebody talks as they fall asleep they say something really weird.
ADAM: Well I didn't mean to say "old." The word "old" just appeared in front of my eyelids.
KAREN: Oh.
ADAM: (clearly falling asleep again) No, it should have been "school cheese"...
KAREN: School cheese?!
ADAM: I said the word "school."
KAREN: Wow, "school cheese."
ADAM: They're the Kraft slices. Yes, we have Kraft slices.
KAREN: You do not.
ADAM: Well, we had something similar, shut up. That fake plastic cheese in individual plastic wrappers.
KAREN: Kraft singles are amazing!
ADAM: If you take them out of the cover and flung them at the ceiling, they could just stick there. They were so plasticky, even with the plastic wrapper taken off.
KAREN: No, you're wrong. That's because yours, here, sucked. If you had had Kraft singles, you wouldn't be saying those thing.
ADAM: Listen: It's not everybody's taste. You have a very particular palate when it comes to certain food stuffs.
KAREN: No matter what, there's nothing in the world as good as a grilled cheese sandwich made with—
TOGETHER: —Kraft singles.
ADAM: Ok. I cannot argue against that.

18 comments:

  1. Personally, in my world, no cheese would be way more stressful than old cheese.

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    Replies
    1. "Not even Wensleydale???" 7@=Q

      (Thought I'd get that one in before somebody else does)...

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  2. Bless you for taking a few minutes to publish this. I do believe that there are more desirable solutions.

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  3. I have had many different brands/types of cheese over the years.... Kraft singles is still the best when it comes to sandwich cheeses. only thing better is a nice slice of aged cheddar.

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  4. That's a wonderfully persuasive argument! Don't hate on the Kraft singles!

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  5. Ewww... sorry but I have to disagree! Kraft singles are disgusting and "plasticky" like Adam said!

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  6. It was such a good idea giving the guinea pigs wingr.

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  7. guinea pigs with wings, it is October after all

    http://img0.etsystatic.com/000/0/6691043/il_fullxfull.309643480.jpg

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  8. Love the Radiohead reference

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