Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)


Feb 18 2010

Warning: Um, don't play today's audio at work. Or in front of your small children.

"I can't see the trees for the dominoes. Knock down the trees. Have a knock-down tree rally."

"Oh please, give me the satisfaction of closing a door and you leave. You're so good."

"It's cabbage soup for you. All day. Nothing else. And you'll like it."

"You piss-flap motherfucking tosser! No, I DON'T want to say anything else. I think that sums you up enough."

 or click here

Karen's note: Ok, this is my last real-time post for a couple of weeks. We're leaving for honeymoon at the elephant orphanage today, and we got ourselves "Elephant trunks should be used for elephant things only" t-shirts for the occasion.

But don't despair! I've pre-scheduled blog posts, Facebook updates, and Tweets for every day, and we've got an army of friends set up to moderate the comments, and a house-sitter to feed the fishies. You may even get some of my favorite audio while we're away!

(Speaking of audio, I've put up some new ringtones. Even if you don't have any interest in downloading a ringtone, you can hear some new audio there.)

We'll miss you guys!


  1. have a wonderful honeymoon! and be safe!

  2. Yaaaay honeymoon! Yaaaaaay ringtones!
    Have fun! :D

  3. Have a wonderful hooneymoon you guys!! Happy elephanting!!!!! :D

  4. Fishies rock!!!

  5. Have a great time you two. Can't wait to hear the new posts.

  6. wishing you a wonderful happy honeymoon

  7. Thank you, guys. We are SO excited!

  8. Oh my god WHO is he dreaming about when he says these insults!!

    Happy elephant honeymoon!! Have a great time you'll love it :D

  9. Happy elephant honeymoon!!! Thank you for all of the laughter, my friends and I all love this blog.

  10. Wow. That... That is quite a clip! :D

    Have a happy honeymoon!

  11. 2nd guy here.

    1.Trees? dominoes? strange...

    2.Cabbage soup= hate=disgusting=bathroom=sick (in my case anyway (except the sick and bathroom))

  12. and now my 2nd comment.

    Any1 noticed i put one pair of brackets in another.
    2 pairs of brackets!!!

  13. [I love double bracketing (although I would generally use brackets and then parentheses).]

  14. Bon Voyage! Did you pack swim trunks in your elephant trunk? ;-)
    Looking forward to photos of your trip.

  15. That audio clip is made of pure sterling WIN

  16. scratch an elephant trunk for me... wait... nevermind =P

    enjoy the your time together

  17. Have a Wonderful Honeymoon!!

  18. Enjoy! Have fun! Congrats!

    great sleep-talk. (lol, what's with the warning? I think that should be a d'uh!!! lololololol)

    Happy HoneyMoon! ;-)

  19. Honeymoon, Shmoneymoon: I need my daily dose of STM! -Live. It's my PCP, my HGH, my Black Coffee!

    (P.S. Have a great time!)

  20. Happy Honeymooning!!!
    Thank you for preparing our morning giggles!!!!
    Have fun and come back with great stories...wether you tell them awake or asleep!!!
    love from Lisbon, PT

  21. Have a wonderful honeymoon!!

  22. How will you get STM's talking on the plane? Hopefully it won't be the nasty kind.

  23. Have a good honeymoon! Make sure Adam doesn't fall asleep on the plane... I'm sure there will be young children near you.

  24. Enjoy your honeymoon! Be sure you pack the recorder, because I'm sure there will be more elephant content after he meets them in person! Just don't bring any home! I know they're cute but it's just a bad idea!

    I have a friend who's a game warden, whose wife and daughter fell in love with a black bear cub. It was a bad idea!

  25. @KimmieB, 'tosser' is another word for 'wanker'.

    Have a great time guys :o)

  26. Have a great honeymoon you two!! Where exactly are you going?? I've been taking to my fiance about doing something like that for our honeymoon. (We're elephant fanatics.) Take lots of pictures!! :-D

  27. Prof. ZzzMAN-ylizer18 February 2010 at 15:30

    HoneyMooning Haven to the two of you!...don't let the elephants get in the way other than framing a hearty window with two trunks as one...bring on the love for the wild outdoors! that'll be an experience and the both of you riding off into the sunset trunkin' away for some R and R after all this monstrosaurous Mayhem of the adam-kind...expect more wonderous momentogems to share and special one to keep just to yourselves ;)

    - great concept of a domineering single domino effect that spreads out onto an open canvas, (only at christmas time) with visions of sugarplums in the air are dreamier than the work involved to 'knock'em'...
    Have a knock-down tree rally of a good time in Thai!

    " Oh please, give me the satisfaction of closing a door while we're away and you leave for now. I'm so good. You're so good. We're all so's all good'n itttts..."

    "It's cabbage soup for you too. All day. Nothing else. And you'll like it, n' thar she blows."

    "You piss-flap motherfucking tosser, better head for the hills! No, I DON'T want to say anything else. Step away, step away...This soup does wonders for the health, but I think that sums you up enough, my nose can't take it..." a keenex will do otherwise, i may have to save the hanky when we step into the orphanage of wild things that go know ;)
    king kong 'n all, elephants'll be king of this jungle!

    (( but not if sleeperAdam has his say, HISsss! WAY 'n Karen at bay ina g'way that'll be here (intime) to stay ;))

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  29. happy honeymooning!

    i have introduced about 40 friends to your blog, and we now greet each other with some of adam's finer insults.

    for my money, though, adam's best lines are the ones yelled upon waking: "Snake!", "COCK HUNTER!", etc. thank you both so much for the laughs!

  30. Have a great time and enjoy the warm sunny weather!

  31. HAHA!! That might be the best audio yet. Have a great time you guys!

  32. Have a great honeymoon. I appreciate your work on this blog. It's such a spot of fun in my day.

  33. That settles it. I'm heading into the woods for a knock-down tree rally.

  34. have a great time, stay safe, get lots of heffalump kisses, and hurry on back to us...

  35. Have a wonderful time, and thank you for thinking of us before you left. Very sweet of you to save up all those entries and arrange for them to keep us happy while you're gone.

    By the way, badgertastic! has become my family's new favorite word :)

  36. Have a beautiful and funny honeymoon!!!!

  37. Congratulations and have a WONDERFUL honeymoon! We'll miss you. Thanks for setting up posts while you are gone! ~ Heynonny

  38. Enjoy your honeymoon and the elephants. I can't imagine what sort of things sleep-talking Adam will come up with while surrounded by jungle-y things and freakishly large creatures. I look forward to it!

  39. @KimmieB: "Tosser" = in American, "jerkoff".

  40. ty to Anonymous and extra thank you to LA/wts...Jerkoff I understand LOL. was actually going to ask next what a wanker was ;-)

  41. Have a wonderful time!!!! I hope Adam has some wonderful dreams while on your honeymoon.

  42. thanks for the explanation of Tosser/Wanker!! Us Americans are not as creative in our slang lol!! Have a Badgertastic honeymoon!! ;-)


    "And you'll like it." :)

    I love the ~withering~ tone in the beginning of today's audio - haven't you just felt that feeling?

    YAY for King Kong and Chicken Soup in the ringtones!! Two of my many favs.

    Thanks tons for setting us up for the next couple weeks. Have a blast and yes, take some pics to share!

  44. ha ha i just discovered this yesterday and im in love :) i told my boyfriend he is not alone....
    first night he slept over he rolled over to me to say:
    "The onions are so lovely today"
    and i was a bit freaked out ;)

    On another occasion he got up, picked up my boots (which were across the room from eachother) and walked out of my room to put them in the bathroom and went back to sleep!

    Another time I rolled over to give him a hug and he let out a scream and said "dont touch me!!" and punched me in the stomach, waking up to say "hi sweetie" and fall back asleep lol. He was mortified the next day he had punched me (on my birthday nonetheless) ><

    Anyways, this so so hilarous and I hope you two have a great honeymoon. :)

  45. Congrats! Have a safe trip and a GREAT time! And thanks for this blog...brightens my day every day! :)

  46. oh you idiots

    these assholes are fucking stealing content from my fucking site

    fuck you, go fuck yourself, and die

  47. Claire here:

    re: Anon 05:20

    Darling, you are going to have to explain yourself better than that if you want (crave) some attention. Would you like to direct us to your site and then we can leave awesome, delinquent messages for you! How enjoyable that would be; unlike you we would put a name to our comments. Think about it you sniffling, fuck-wanking, pig-dog moron.

    Have a lovely time Adam and Karen; don't worry we'll hold down the fort for you :)

    Oh my, I never used to use such language but with imbeciles it's just a must isn't it?? (Sounds even better with my crisp english accent!!)

  48. Succinct Claire, and very colourful! A+ for the imagery! :)
    A little evidence would indeed be more convincing than just pure malice.

    Hope Karen and Adam are having an amazing honeymoon, and share some pics when they get back!

  49. Oh I am loving the Pasta picture one in the ringtones... I have wanted to hear that one for a long time!! Brilliant!

    Have a great time!

  50. Do you have this website? Rather than coming on here and being insulting, howabout you take the mature route and post some PROOF for your accusations before acting like a pissed of preteen.

  51. just out of curiosity, how can you pick just one audio clip to share?

  52. Have a good honeymoon~ That's a good idea for a honeymoon. Have fun with the baby elephants, and know that we expect pictures.

    On another photo-related note -- you keep fish? :D

  53. If it's the elephant refuge near Chiang Mai that you're off to - you'll adore it. I was there last year. I hope you get the chance to go overnight on the trek up to the elephant haven - it's amazing. If you're reading this, you're probably back - so I hope you had an amazing time.