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Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20100320

Mar 20 2010

"Yeah, cause, crampons are absolutely unsuitable for tap dancing. Potentially bloody, in fact. A total waste of fucking time."

"You, sir, are the used sock on a teenager's floor. Nothing more."
__________

Karen's note: Crampons are those spikes that mountain climbers attach to their shoes to dig into the ice. Yeah, not so great for tap-dancing.

33 comments:

  1. Whoo, first Comment. So funny.

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  2. I am coming here continuously just to become a first commenter and finally i have done it,,,,hehehe.

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  3. And I'm commenting that I KNOW what crampons are. Karen, do you think we're all retarded?

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  4. @12:47 anon
    I didn't know what crampons are. Doesn't mean that I'm retarded.


    Funny as always. 8D

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  5. As non-native english speaker I have to say I had no idea what crampons are but now I know so thank you Karen.

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  6. Reading this blog has become part of my morning ritual. You could put all these quotes into a book. I would be one heck of a laughing so hard milk shoots out of your nose read. :)

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  7. I'm from the southern part of the US. We get snow flurries maybe 2 times a year. I had no idea what crampons were.

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  8. 2manywhiskers20 March 2010 13:29

    LOL!! Now I really want to see someone in crampons tap dancing. Yowch. And the sock one - utterly withering.

    Kristin at 13:15 - "it would be one heck of a laughing so hard milk shoots out your nose read" - your description alone made me snort!

    What a fun way to start a Saturday. Thanks, K&A.

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  9. I, too, did not know what crampons were.

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  10. I didn't know what crampons were either... The majority of us are grateful for the foot notes x

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  11. Used sock, umm gross, but a potentially incredibly apt and effective insult! lol
    Thanks again for the daily morning chuckle!
    Sherri

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  12. Canadian Top Cat20 March 2010 14:19

    Sooo, could you have a book ready for next Christmas? Just imagine having it in the bathroom for your guests to read? Talk about milk squirting out of your nose! As Adam says "I need a book. A big book. And the loo. Happiness."

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  13. As a teenager myself, I know how much the second quote would be a withering insult of pain. I think I will use that now on some of my friends...

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  14. Perhaps this is obvious, but as Adam pointed out to me, he's probably not talking about a sock worn on the foot.

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  15. Karen - thank you for translations. It is amazing how often folks like Anonymous 12:47 think THEY are the center of the universe. Yes, I knew what crampons are - but only because I live where they are used by local tree climbers. Get me too far away from home and I need the translators!!!!!!!

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  16. Prof. ZzzMAN-ylizer20 March 2010 15:54

    so without being in the social circles of mountaining adventures, crampons sounded like somethin i care not to mention, but it is a newbie word to me too...another day of learning new linguage and the ole' rattler pipin'in...

    an oddball name for a funny function, at first without having read Karen's insights, i end up bee lining to pictures first and i thought they were aerating shoes ready for the spring to spring into...grassy heaven,

    ---now maybe to tapdance into with a neighbourly
    chagrin and a hello smile...or ice skate about in an corner area ice section...but too much diggin in the heels cud be a bit too tushy for the cheering crowd, minus only the heckler of the unwelcome kind...a fine line and a bloody step in time, wrong direction, waste not want not

    now if this teenager expect to have the room cleaned by someone else, then... you sirree,
    won't cut the mustard off in this house with that attitude...

    oh also, your grounded for 2 hours early tonight for laundry duty, let your friend know, no sleepin' in, unless Karen changes the storyabook by a dream weaver, gary wright or wrong...catching a songbird fly by...tweets away twaddlydoo

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  17. I had no idea what a crampon was, and I live somewhere that snows til May sometimes. I thought he was mispronouncing something else... lol! I quite enjoyed the second insult. Going to have to remember that one.

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  18. Dread Pirate Sara said, "I thought he was mispronouncing something else..."

    Yes, that is precisely why i made sure to spell things out.

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  19. I have to say I quite enjoy the cultural footnotes.

    It's funny to me that people are talking about the crampon, and not about why a teenage boy would have a single sock on the floor..

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  20. Having just relocated about eight dirty socks off my 21-year-old son's floor, my new favourite is today's second quote - I'll have a bit of a chuckle next time I do it. For now, I'm just waiting to see what he does about emptying the box where I've relocated all the stuff he leaves lying around....
    Cheers from Annette in Australia

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  21. I am a used sock on a teenager's floor. You see right through me...

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  22. You know, Adam is king-master of insults. And he's not even awake. Is he equally as quit witted and insulting a he is when he is asleep?

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  23. Hi Karen and Adam ,
    I write and produce techno and dance music, and I have been an avid fan since Dec! I would love to sample some of Adams Mutterings for my music!! I think STM needs Theme Music!!!! I am thinking of The Mary Poppins revisited and Butt Cheeks Ahoy. Would that be ok?

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  24. I would totally dance to STM theme music!
    Karen I appreciate the explanations, knowing that STM fans come from all over the world and what is familiar in one area may be completely unheard of in another. Sadly I think I interpreted the sock comment correctly, I have a very sick mind I guess!
    Sherri

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  25. I sort of like the idea of tap dancing in crampons (yes, I needed a reminder of what that means, just like I didn't know the preggers goldfish word). But, um, yeah, people, JP above is correct--the most comment worthy post today is about the teenager's sock. You all are just not thinking about how that sock was used. Apologies to the smiling mom above.

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  26. As a tap teacher, I looooove the crampons comment. The sock is good as well, but I had to forward the tap dancing crampons to all my current and former adult tap students. I'd soooo love a t-shirt! (I keep looking for the dancing in the rain to show up on a shirt as well, We are currently dancing to Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head!)
    Melanie from Canada

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  27. So far I'm the first to bring this up, but I thought he'd made up crampons. A combination of tampons and cramps. Made it even funnier to me.

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  28. 4ever =O) laughter21 March 2010 02:30

    All the above, deposit to disposal!

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  29. Now I understand why he said used sock, not dirty sock... lol.

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  30. Maybe Anonymous is the only one who knows how to Google something he doesn't already know. And then remember the result.

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  31. I am such a 'tard, the sock one went completely over my head. Ewwwwwwwwwww.

    Dying laughing over it now! Thank god my boyos aren't old enough for that to be a worry yet...

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  32. More fantastic than my reflection21 March 2010 19:54

    Yes, divorced mother of three, the used sock thing is hilarious. Hilarious. Yes, theme music could be interesting/labels for the kinds of insults/food/Adam's ego etc. would be good to read.

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  33. The sock one went over my head the first time as well, but then I read the comments and started giggling all over again. Definitely storing that up in the insult bank. I love the "You, Sir..." bit - hilarious!

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