Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20100413

Apr 13 2010

"I like to picture you as road kill. Reversing over your body again and again, putting you out of your fucking misery."
__________

Karen's notes: Just got back to the UK and Adam this morning, to find this lovely gem waiting for me on the recorder. Ouch.

(For those who worry about my feelings, no need. I'm pretty secure in the knowledge that it was not aimed at me).

I really enjoyed yesterday's extensive debate in the comments on french grammar and the like. Thanks everyone, for your extremely entertaining and educational input.

43 comments:

  1. ...Ouch...
    xo

    ReplyDelete
  2. I really wonder who Adam is talking to in his sleep. In some of them, he seems to be having both sides of the conversation with himself.

    ReplyDelete
  3. omg! lol. that's the worst. cool thing about adam is that he can give better comebacks than anyone in his sleep. u hav the audio for it?

    ReplyDelete
  4. LOL! I imagine him acting so sweet in real life, but keeping all these brilliant yet highly violent thoughts churning around inside... I do wonder if he's able to come up with these things when awake, or if its only his subconscious that's capable of it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I have a similar problem & have been undergoing treatment for almost a 1 half years now. it is a serious problem and would recommend he see's a dr if he isnt already, pref a neurologist. mine started with just talking in my sleep at a young age.. as time goes on, things may change dependant on the person.. my cycle started with .. Talking in my sleep~>>>>shouting in my sleep>>>> fighting in my sleep, (Physically - my bed used to be againt the wall and i'd wake with brusies all over my hands, on one occasion i gave my girlfriend a black eye whilst asleep) then i moved on to Sleep walking>>>> and im currently at the stage where i became a sleep eater! there has been a TV documentary i took part in on this filmed about a year or so ago shown on Channel 5. this is a growing problem for most cases and can scare the hell out of family u live with. sounds like Adams mind does not shut down like its supposed to when everyone sleeps. its still pretty much active like mine. we are asleep but not paralyzed as we should be which enables use to move about in our sleep (when everyone goes to sleep their brains shut down and put your body into a paralyzed state allowing you to basically get the rest you need but we dont, when our minds are constantly active which causes alot of late nights, tiredness, attitude etc when were awake. but when we are asleep we even have the ability to drive a car or commit a crime (heaven forbid) but cannot be held responsible for our actions if you are diagnosed with such a disorder. i would be interested to know more about Adam's night time sleeping events, i might be able to help in someway if its wanted. (dont worry about the foreign language adam was speaking in, French? was it *sorry i am at work and have just skimmed the posts* i was speaking Russian 6months ago in my sleep & have never spoken russian in my life). u will be surprised to find out what can trigger such things like this. give me a shout,we can compare notes =) (as to speak) lol
    ridgeuk@hotmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  6. hi anon 13.45, your condition does sound serious and i hope things are getting better. i am not worried about my sleep talking. most of the experts have stated that this is taking part in a lighter stage of sleep and not in dream rem sleep. i feel refreshed from my nights. very rarely do i get a disturbed nights sleep. unlike karen, poor thing!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Go Adam! Though im surprised you don't wake yourself up with some of your chattering!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Go Adam! Though im surprised you don't wake yourself up with all your chattering!

    ReplyDelete
  9. oh its better Adam, its basically understanding your sleeping patterns, things u watch & see during the day or night, and a little tablet that helps fall into a deep sleep. how long have u been talking in your sleep for ?

    ReplyDelete
  10. i had a little spell in my twenties apparantly not long then nothing till about 18 months ago.

    ReplyDelete
  11. would u say u talked more now than u did back then? or about the same? & has it only ever been sleep talking? sorry for the questions, but im hoping to crack it eventually, as in how it all ticks, i dont know if you have any kids, but my daughter talks in her sleep too and she is 9years old, so curiosity has got me more than anything on this one.

    ReplyDelete
  12. oh i hardly said a thing back in my twenties and it didn't last long. saying way more now. i have two kids and neither of them sleep talk - but they have furtive imaginations!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Also, Adam's talking has steadily increased since he started last February. At first it was just once every couple of weeks, then every few days, and by now nearly every night, and he usually says somewhere between 2 and 8 phrases each night. -Karen

    ReplyDelete
  14. interesting.. well im glad your not in deep with your sleep problem, although i will say heads up for the future, should anything start progressing from just talking in your sleep. mine became a pain in the ass on more than one occasion. im not so worried about me, just my kids hence why i try to find out as much as i can and even be a guinnie pig if need be so my kids dont have to go through it should it come to that. fingers cross it never will =)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hiya Karen, my mrs has even had conversations with me whilst i been asleep & i dont remember a thing..lol it could progress more dependant on a few factors really..(but i can only comment on my own expirences here as it maybe diff for everyone else inc Adam). just see how it goes, its not the end of the world and we aint got the plague or anything.. lol it is funny to hear about it as when my mrs tells me things ive said i basically tell her "she is on a wind up" and laugh to be honest, Russian? Come on..lol its funny how the mind ticks and also very interesting. my son is 3 & sits and laughs at me thinks its hilarious if his not laughing at me his beating me up when ive crashed out on the sofa. its a funny old world and were just people that help contribute to that i guess =)

    ReplyDelete
  16. My daughter talks in her sleep .. which actually started as night terrors when she was very young, turned into sleepwalking for awhile, and now just talking, with the odd occurance of sleepwalking. Most nights she's VERY chatty, but not always coherent. I'll take the talking over the terrors, that's just freaky when they're eyes are open and looking in your direction, but right through you, and there's little you can do as a parent to calm the poor child down. At least now its amusing at best, and she's more refreshed instead of dog-tired!!

    ReplyDelete
  17. People just do strange things when they're asleep. I sing, apparently, and sigh a lot. My sister has full conversations with me, and gets quite mad if I don't participate. Plus, she went through a sleepwalking phase when she was 11. The brain is a funny thing- fortunately for the readers of this blog!

    ReplyDelete
  18. What a relief that Adam can vent his frustrations with sleep talking rather than action in his waking hours! That sounds pretty healthy to me.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Aside from the juxtaposed incongruities of some statements, a lot of what he says sounds like a conversation between me and my brother.

    Please keep postin'. I have laughed so hard my eyes watered.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Wow I did not know you had kids, Adam and Karen, I guess I have not been paying attention. :\

    I like this blog because it is just funny, even when it is raunchy. :) I always smile or laugh when I read it and you brighten up my day. :)

    I have noticed that since I have started reading STM, I have noticed more when I am waking up that I am talking to someone or to myself. I don't know if I have always done that and have noticed it more now or if this is new. What do you think?? :\

    ReplyDelete
  21. isn't it amazing what people can do when they sleep? Sleep is supposed to be relaxing and they do so much! Talk, walk, eat, FIGHT...??!!
    @ anon 17:14 : I think you should put it on a blog! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  22. anon 17.14 it is something i have rarely mentioned, but i have two amazing kids and karen is the best step mum.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Actually, it's true, Adam does have really amazing children, even objectively speaking. They're silly and clever and creative and cute and super well-behaved. I couldn't be luckier in terms of my step-parenthood.

    ReplyDelete
  24. My husband once described in full detail how to make a pipe bomb in his sleep. My son and I find him quite entertaining. He doesn't come close to Adam's level of coolness when he's asleep. I save reading this blog till the end of my day, gives me something to look forward to :)

    ReplyDelete
  25. Prof. ZzzMAN-ylizer13 April 2010 20:58

    •.¸(¯`'•.¸*♫♪♫♪*¸.•'´¯)¸.• '´¯)
    ♫(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸*♫♪*¸.•'´¯)¸.•' ´¯)♫
    ♫♪(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸**¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´ ¯)♫♪
    -**......- P o O-O-O o F -......**-
    (_¸.•'´(_¸.•'´*♫♪♫♪*`'•.¸_)`'•  .¸_)
    ♫(_¸.•'´(_¸.•'´*♫♪*`'•.¸_)`'•.  ¸_)♫
    ♫♪(_¸.•'´(_¸.•'´**`'•.¸_)`'•.¸  _)♫



    ... a magical mystery tour to the other side,
    when......



    ... we get run over by bystanders who pedestrian out of control into this universe... of ...
    Sleepin'Talkin' nomorewalkin' MAN Blog...

    ...Ouchrific...that was the low----blow heard around the world...(insert.wind.effex.here)



    zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    special note to Sm =)le s'More, frown less
    (from another secure professor; too nutty to try ;)

    ---- now to the anonymous previous posters or imposter as it be, one person (let's say as myself) being a total targethead to ruin this entire STM blog sounds like quite a feet to kick in the you know what, where? with...kinda reflects on an internal requirement to be pleased immediately if not all the time...remember the hop,skippin'n a jumpin'....relieves tension...

    can't say that i would be pleased; to please your request as i would be deleted immediately and still welcome that with honor, but if entertainment is what,
    (let's say, anonymous.sad.person), others have requested otherwise, i can only hear what is already written thus, this blog is not Just 4 Your Entertainment Lambert-style not...or has mentioned, i can only do as i be...

    so do be more forthcoming in your efforts to reveal a truer intention-internally-giving fan-contribution, then i would not have to do these ickykinda posts again to your sadness ...would you beleive...Just 4 you...to please yourself...pretty pretty please, don't forget to jumpinto rabbitholes anytime, i have and survived with gusto..byebye birdie, hello today...You say goodbye and I say hello / Hello, hello / I don't know why you say goodbye / I say hello / Hello, hello ...or was that goodbye!-Charlie!

    no brow.nose.it.all.here...beatleMaNia.rising...)

    time sensitive material ahead, Detour NOW --->>>

    [[[ some little know facts about stealin' time ]]]

    Topic: Sweetwitter, VS. Long.bloggin.it



    - did you know:

    a twitter is a tweety smaller than small sentencefuls, that's twitterific

    !! and it's connecting site option for comment lengtha.mania !!

    - did you know:

    a blog is a blit blong, bligger and blogger ---

    !! with a maximum of 4096 characters !!

    - did you know:

    !! that all above are available with their OWN
    Oooptional Cooomments !!

    !! from mini to maximillion thinkadoos !!

    - did you know:

    that short is sweet As well, also tall is long - - - and all, R choices ...

    Sn'Anonymous, are you in the right area? or require directions; to avoid speed bumps :)

    - did you know-------------

    read the Read without turning red, is to have read it too forget it, yet.

    - did you know-------------

    one might've forget this avenue of thought,..it's free by the way... to take.it....or.......leaveit

    --- in a leafy blow--- we.goes....no.ego.

    (just leggo.my.eggo) and, awayweegoh.

    zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    ReplyDelete
  26. Does anyone read the entire posts from the Prof. Wotsit? Gah!!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Oh Adam please tell me it was a Zombie penguin

    ReplyDelete
  28. I love the Prof! And I certainly read his entire posts, clever man he is. Keep chatterin' Adam!!! Maybe it was the little ginger one you ran over....there is always the ginger one.

    ReplyDelete
  29. zMan!! Artiste today!

    Karen glad you're back! Adam keep up the great work! LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Can anyone shed any light on how to read the Prof's posts? I am lost after a few sentences. I really want to get it though... anyone?!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Prof. ZzzMAN-ylizer14 April 2010 02:10

    from the mouthy prof. who doesn't mean to be confusing --- rather than con-'fun'ning ways

    i will try to give a quickie wickie on the words that i twist that are not full sentences but i'll forcefeed them to be....

    # after reading all the day's post..i'll pick out words that have a rhyme, rhythm or feel, as i read them...like eg. money = (honey)...so i use that word for a sentence and then i try to see how that would string into another shakeup word that randomly comes to mind...

    # if adam says 'leather' = (feather) is the rhyming word that came to mind so HONEY FEATHERS is the stringing word...and so on...that's why it doesn't or wasn't suppose to make sense but was just using fun into the STM day to add to the lot of funnies from everyone else too...


    p.s....
    i use google a lot once i realized it's a great dictionary and pick out meanings from the list there on...like a hommage to STM maybe in his greatmindy ways to instigate more 'wierder' wacker and wilder in a fan.fun.way... that's why its not decipherable to many, i'm thinking..but kooky fun was all it was---still is...

    # that 10*th degrees to STM a game in my mind that i just happen to type as i think it out....i love music ...so i've used that a lot. and when in doubt i google it out.


    # i would love to hear others madeup " fan fiction " tall STM tales of whatever comes to mind and they share it too...that would be such a gas. ( tank ) and "horton hears a who" ( U ) is the rhyme...Tank U. for listening ,

    # sorry for the confusious conclusion to an odd word game of association that could go on and on (john) - can, saying goodnight now after this annonymous lesson ( i'm confesson ) do hope this helps in some sort of :) ease ( please? )...


    " johnny-can sit on his confesson - - - to please have some good sleep now "

    sweet dreams'n ღ♥ღ ice cream! ღ♥ღ

    ReplyDelete
  32. AreastellNichole14 April 2010 02:36

    lolz i like that game!! its amazing! this particular phrase kinda killed my morning but it was funny once i woke up and relized it wasnt talking about me >.< and on the matter of sleep talking/walking, i used to sleep walk and my parents always thought i was possessed. I would get out of my bed walk into the hall, sit on the floor and laugh hysterically until i woke up, then i would cry my eyes out.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Sounds like a line from a Stephen King novel!

    ReplyDelete
  34. Sometimes they're long and complex and other times they are short and simple. Have you seen any correlation between that and his moods or events going on?

    ReplyDelete
  35. i think "karen's notes" should not be longer than the sleep talking message

    ReplyDelete
  36. Anon @ 03:37

    Doesn't really matter coz its still funny. also i reckon talking is a lot better than snoring.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Where is the audio for this one?! Some of the best ones/meanest don't have audio. Thanks Adam for making us laugh on a weekly if not daily basis!

    ReplyDelete
  38. Greetings from holland14 April 2010 22:43

    Agree to thaiguy, the offensive ones are usually the best, pretty witty. This one would look very good on a mug for a fresh start of the day with coffee.

    ReplyDelete
  39. I used to have night terrors a lot when i was little. then came the sleep walking and trying to re-enact movie scenes (usually from star wars). still do some occasional sleep talking, as does my roommate here in the dorm.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Thank you for your article. Then let's see something about cosplay. You must be interested in it.
    Cosplay Get Its Own Magazine: Cosplay Gen
    cosplay is big. Very big. China Wholesale More than half of all kids at anime conventions these days are cosplaying cosplay costumes.

    Relax, cheap cosplay costumes it’s nothing scary. Cosplay is just the Japanese word for dressing up in costume. naruto cosplay You know, like you do on Halloween... cosplay naruto except if you spent four months making your costume, Kingdom Hearts Cosplay and made all of the props yourself instead of buying everything out of a package at the temporary local Halloween Superstore cheap cosplay.

    In an indication of just how big the international cosplay community is getting, anime cosplay May will see the launch of a new, English-language cosplay magazine anime cosplay costumes out of Europe called Cosplay Gen. wholesale costume The 72-page issue #1 Japanese School Uniform will include tons of photos, interviews, profiles, DIY tutorials and a pull-out poster. Final Fantasy Cosplay Pre-order your copy now and receive a free issue of Otaku Magazine Bleach Cosplay.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Just wanted to say you guys should post audio for all the quotes! I know that might be difficult, but the audio adds so much! Just makes it that much more entertaining ;-) Thanks you guys, for making me laugh every day!

    ReplyDelete
  42. hey can you help me

    ReplyDelete
  43. Prof. ZzzMAN-ylizer ... i love the wisdom behind your posts...those with ear to hear should listen...listen to me i sound like IAM rewriting the gnostics lol

    Stephanie..not everyone has synthetic telepathy/syntel and ssss sound equip to posts audios like STM
    EA's Sofia

    theyre all dancing their last dance anyway
    laughs last...laughs best
    and we are lofao

    ReplyDelete