Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20100402

Apr 2 2010

"Shit sandwich. That's what you're going to get. Shit shit shit arse-bread sandwich."

"Yeah, my balloons! Watch them dancing in the sun. Aren't they- Fuck! Fuck, you little fuck! Your kid's a tossbag for popping them. Tossbag kid."

 or click here

That one just broke my heart. He was so excited about his balloons. But he seemed to recover quickly:

"If I'm gonna be in charge, I need a cape. You can't do the job without a cape. Take me to the cape tailor."
 or click here

At this point, I rolled over, away from Adam, which he answered with:

"Don't run away. It's ok. All I want to do is share my love for you."

Isn't that sweet? What a shocker.

An hour later, I got up to go to the bathroom. When I came back, Adam had rolled into the middle of the bed, and had his arm stretched across my side. I stared at it for 5 minutes, trying to figure out how I was going to get my spot back. Finally, I decided to gently lift it by the wrist and move it over. I had barely touched it when...
 or click here

I should explain that Jungle Boy is a rambunctious teenage elephant at the Elephant Nature Park that we just came from.

Added later: if you look on the Facebook fan page at the album from our honeymoon, the elephant with the big tusks is Jungle Boy!

51 comments:

  1. No, you definitely can't do the job without a cape, Adam. All my super hero friends tell me so!

    Happy Easter to both of you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think that this is the best sleep talking he has ever done.Awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh, wow! I think the cape one just beat the one about the pirate and the boat. It's even more hysterical at the end because his voice deepens and he emphasizes each word, "Take me to the cape tailor."

    That should be a t-shirt...most definitely. I'd definitely buy one then!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love the "take me to the cape tailor" bit! So funny! I'd quite like a cape, it would help with my day to day life I'm sure!

    ReplyDelete
  5. THE BEST ONE I'VE SEEN YET!!!!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. 4ever =O) laughter2 April 2010 at 12:23

    Wonder if Jungle Boy is an extension to another rambunctious Wonder we've come to luv with arms stretched across miles, and only a touch away...a hint for another returning vacation maybe?
    Hope there's no competition for affection ;) for dream sake!
    Thanks for more inputs, too Karen, we know you're his #1 :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. I've got a Sleep Talkin' Man, as well! I was lightly punched in the chest the other day as he shouted, "Sacre bleu, fuck you!" It was cute and made me laugh, but I have a terrible time falling back asleep, so it gets old after a while.

    Is there anything that triggers his sleep talking? Zach has nightmares, but he generally only talks in his sleep if he goes to bed with a shirt on, as he overheats in his slumber.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Can't do the job with out a cape... no one can!
    I laughed out loud and scared my cat! Thanks so much for this!

    ReplyDelete
  9. He would have scared the crap out of me when he yelled jungle boy like that XD

    ReplyDelete
  10. What an inspiration! Next time I'm tapped to lead something at work, I'm definitely going to use the cape line. Brilliant.

    ReplyDelete
  11. OMG I laughed so hard this morning...

    JUNGLE BOY!!!

    oh dear.

    Loved the deep, commanding tone: "Take me to the cape tailor."

    I know I'm going to end up using 'tossbag kid'. I just know it.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I am deaf, what did the audio say?

    ReplyDelete
  13. "stared at it for 5 minutes, trying to figure out how I was going to get my spot back" -- you two are definitely newlyweds -- in a couple years you'll stare for maybe 5 seconds before giving him a shove and telling him to roll back over.

    ReplyDelete
  14. My favorite part is Karen's incredulous tone at just being called Jungle Boy. ROFLMAO!

    ReplyDelete
  15. I read your posts on the iPhone app and there is no audio. Please put the full text. I missed the Jungle Boy content completely :-(

    ReplyDelete
  16. This was so hilarious! PLEASE make a t-shirt for "Take me to the cape tailor." That was perfect! I've been watching this blog for months... in fact, it was really funny because I discovered it about six days before you became viral and got on all those tv shows and such! You guys are awesome! (L)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Anonymous @10:57 - "Take me to the cape tailor" said in the tone of "take me to your leader" did make me laugh out loud, but I don't think anything can ever top "butt cheeks ahoy!".

    Also, is Sleep Talkin' Man feeling OK? He actually said something sweet!

    ReplyDelete
  18. This is awesome! Glad I googled funny blogs. Looking forward to making this a regular stop!

    ReplyDelete
  19. english is not my first language, so all i caught is
    STM (Really LOUD): JUNGLE BOY..!!! (i thought he said 'down, boy' :-p) -sorry.
    Karen: did u say little boy?
    STM (or Adam? did he wake up?) : jungle boy
    Karen: *sniggering* Jungle boy??!?
    Adam: .... (um... i didn't catch this one. Help, anyone??)

    ReplyDelete
  20. I think he said at the end:
    Adam: *mumble mumble* I had a feeling that he was grabbing my arm.

    Absolutely hilarious!!! I would have to agree that this is one of the funniest nights he's had!!

    ReplyDelete
  21. bwahahahaha!!! "Take me to the cape tailor!" is so much better with audio... absolutely love it!

    ReplyDelete
  22. OHHHH I loved all of these. I love reading these on a daily basis! Keep it up!

    ReplyDelete
  23. This is what I can make out:

    STM: Jungle Boy! (That was said loudly with emphasis, the way you would if you caught a dog with your shoe in it's mouth, for instance. Then the next softer) Sorry!

    Karen: Did you say little boy?

    STM: Jungle boy.

    Karen (Laughing): Jungle boy?

    STM: 'Cause (mumble) I had a feeling he was grabbing my arm.

    ReplyDelete
  24. omg the 'jungle boy' seriously just made my day - so funny!

    ReplyDelete
  25. PLEASE! Make a messenger bag with the cape quote! I need one to alternate with my irresponsible duck placement one....

    ReplyDelete
  26. ya know... perhaps ya'll should talk to some of the people at blizzard inc. ya know the ones that created world of warcraft. perhaps they could put a character in the game based on STM... lol they love doing little funny things like that. lol would also expose ya'll to more people. "take me to the cape tailor" would fit perfectly in the game.

    ReplyDelete
  27. The shit sandwich is great. I don't know if it's a Canadian thing or maybe just the company I work for, but I manage a store for a company where the HR department's instructions for "coaching" our staff members are called a "shit sandwich." We're supposed to start off be complimenting them on something they've been doing well, then address the issue they've screwed up, and them compliment them again by expressing our confidence in their ability to make the necessary change in their behaviour.

    Compliment-shit-confidence = shit sandwich.

    Apparently the HR department believes we employ children.

    But now I want a cape because I'm in charge. I wonder how HR will take that request.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I really hope you do shirts with the 'cape' line I know I'd definately buy one if you did!

    ReplyDelete
  29. I read this blog EVERY DAY. No matter what kind of day I've had the sleep talkin man makes me belly laugh out loud :) Thank You Adam, you guys are the diggity bomb for sharing this!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Anonymous @18:15: nah, it doesn't work on children either.

    ReplyDelete
  31. You must put the "cape tailor" one on a t-shirt.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Agreed. Priceless ones today.

    ReplyDelete
  33. "Look! Up on the monitor!"

    "It's a blog!'

    "It's a joke!"

    "No; it's -SLEEPTALKINMAN!!"

    (cue theme music).......7@=Q

    ReplyDelete
  34. I just want to say that I love this blog, it always brightens my day

    ReplyDelete
  35. Awesome! Way too funny! Love the deep "take me to the cape tailor!!

    lmao @ the interaction Jungle Boy one.

    ReplyDelete
  36. the audio is BY FAR my favorite! please keep posting Adam's wonderful mumblings and musings :)

    ReplyDelete
  37. The jungle boy cracks me up!
    They were really good today.

    He says "I was dreaming he was grabbing my arm"

    ReplyDelete
  38. THREE audios today!!! Wow, thanks Karen! This is one of the funniest days yet.

    I LOVE the cape one, especially the last commanding bit, and LOVE "Jungle Boy!!" And yes, one of the funniest things is Karen's incredulous tone, and yeah, it would have scared the crap out of me, too.

    It sure sounds to me like he says at the end "I was... uh... dreaming that he was grabbing my arm." So maybe there is some dreaming going on, in reference to the question about sleep talking being connected to dreaming or not.

    I also got a kick out of Eric's comment at 14:15 about the evidence of being newlyweds. :)

    ReplyDelete
  39. JUNGLE BOY!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  40. It's interesting that we have here the first instance of Adam remembering a dream......

    The reason he doesn't usually remember is probably that those other episodes occurred in the middle of the night: we generally only remember those dreams that happen just before we wake up.

    I may be wrong, of course, but it's a theory....... 7@=e

    ReplyDelete
  41. when he talks after you move his arm is he wake or asleep?

    ReplyDelete
  42. No cape!!
    Remember these wise words from the Incredibles:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNUbPRj9TGM&feature=youtube_gdata

    ReplyDelete
  43. Well, after the cape comment, I am becoming more and more convinced that my 'awake' husband has somehow taken over the mind of your 'asleep' husband (excepting the language). My husband refers to himself as captain awesome. Any chance of getting the cape comment on a cape.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Is there supposed to be an audio file between these two sentences?

    "Finally, I decided to gently lift it by the wrist and move it over. I had barely touched it when...



    I should explain that Jungle Boy is a rambunctious teenage elephant at the Elephant Nature Park that we just came from."

    ReplyDelete
  45. i thought he said 'down boy'. rofl anyway

    ReplyDelete
  46. Oh, the "cape tailor" line has got to be used in a film, or a comic book, or a TV show, or, just, something with aspiring superheroes.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Oh God I'm trying to keep my laugh, my hubby is sleeping on the sofa but JUNGLE BOY is so darn funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  48. Therefore, I received bytghnr chosen a couple prescription Oakley Frogskins instead a couple prescription Oakley Frogskin. The very first time that I utilized Cheap Oakley Sunglasses had given a superb impression with my classmates and good friends. The pharmaceutical drug had presented me many confidence which often encouraged me lots in the new lifetime. Thanks Oakley Jawbone intended for my sis who received help everyone change lots in gaming. She received chosen a couple fashionable pharmaceutical drug Oakley Jawbones to vary my image around my life in addition to given me many confidence.

    ReplyDelete