Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20100421

Apr 21 2010

"You really are life's wet patch. An embarrassing little stain that no one wants to admit to.... or sleep on."

"God, you whine like whale song. But a lot less erie and beautiful and more, well, fucking annoying. Fuck off you FUCK FUCK. Dick fuck! Can you tell I don't like you?"

 or click here
"You over there, you're going to be my friend today... I don't know about tomorrow, let's just get through today, arsehole."
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Karen's note: Ummm... I just don't know what to say about these. What a jerk! There was even more-- I put a couple aside for a night Adam doesn't talk-- and they were all horrible. And yet, Adam wakes up cheerful and delightful. Or perhaps this is WHY Adam wakes up cheerful and delightful.
 or click here

37 comments:

  1. Wow! Any person just reading this without knowledge would be like "what an arsehole".

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  2. This is the best blog on the net!

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  3. i can see adams face infront of me when he says "can you tell i dont like you?" =DDD

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  4. meh, i meant his smiling face. a sneaky mean face.

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  5. There's just something delightful about the wry way he said, "Can you tell I don't like you?" It will make me giggle all day! :D

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  6. This one for the mechandise please:

    "You over there, you're going to be my friend today... I don't know about tomorrow, let's just get through today, arsehole."

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  7. Awesome quotes!
    Love the way he says "Can you tell I don't like you?"

    Hope that if/when you do post the put asides that you reference today's date so we know where the 'interesting' reserved insults come from.

    It's funny and beautiful...almost like he is saying what we (sometimes) wish we had the nuts to say it!

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  8. strange it sounds like he's gettin louder in each audio. maybe its position of recorder or just me.

    This blog is rated M lol :P

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  9. Hi there. Long time reader, first time poster.

    These three had me chuckling out loud, particularly the 'whale song' one.

    Keep up the great work, Adam. You too, Karen!

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  10. Freakin' hilarious. I love the audio :)

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  11. hi there old man crowder, welcome to the marvellous world of the comments section. enjoy - adam

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  12. Adam has thrown out some great lines, but the wet patch one is my absolute favourite by miles. Best put-down ever.

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  13. My question is, if he stops talking in his sleep will you end up divorcing him because he'll have gotten boring?

    Either way I hope he doesn't stop, these are brilliant!

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  14. He sounded so mischievous when saying, "Can you tell I don't like you?" Absolutely hilarious.

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  15. You guys sound adorable together.

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  16. I LOVE "You are going to be my friend today..."

    Like it's some great privilege for the chosen one that STM has to suffer through.

    hahaha

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  17. Are you speaking to a person or are you referring to God? It is kind of hard to make out to whom you are referring to. Although I can see the symbolism behind telling God to in a sense back off. You are saying that you will live your life the way you want to in spite of religious ideologies. In the end you say “Can you tell I don’t like you?”’; to speak in such a manner to an entity of such influence is extraordinary. The fact that you have the audacity to confront such a force with such minimal restraint shows that you truly are a brave man.

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  18. Are you speaking to a person or are you referring to God? It is kind of hard to make out to whom you are referring to. Although I can see the symbolism behind telling God to in a sense back off. You are saying that you will live your life the way you want to in spite of religious ideologies. In the end you say “Can you tell I don’t like you?”’; to speak in such a manner to an entity of such influence is extraordinary. The fact that you have the audacity to confront such a force with such minimal restraint shows that you truly are a brave man.

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  19. You have a great laugh. :)

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  20. Anon 16:08 - I believe STM is taking the Lord's name in vain on that second quote. I don't think he's actually talking to The Man.

    Love the wet stain insult. Now I can replace my "You're like wet sand in my underwear" insult with this new and better one!!

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  21. Your laugh is so cute.

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  22. aww... you find whale songs beautiful?? :-D
    and by the way, do you use the f word in your waking hours? I was going to ask Karen, but, i think, i THINK, you might know this one better :-P

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  23. erika, to answer your question, i hardly ever use the 'f' word when awake.

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  24. You guys are literally the cutest e-famous couple to ever exist.

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  25. I think my favorite part of this is when Karen tells Adam what he said while he was asleep. Adam gets to laugh at it because it's the first time he's ever really hearing it, even though he said it!

    Honestly, I wish I could get out my negative emotions in my dreams. Most of my dreams are me in dangerous situations with bad endings. :(

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  26. 2manywhiskers21 April 2010 22:14

    If they gave out awards for creativity in slaying others with words STM would get the Olympic gold. And yeah, njdss4, I think it's gotta be healthy to have such free rein to tell it like it is, with supreme confidence, to the despised elements in Dreamland...

    "But a lot less erie and beautiful and more, well, f*cking annoying" totally cracked me up.

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  27. Oops, hit the wrong button. Also wanted to say it's so fun to hear the two of you giggling together! :)

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  28. Pardon my pedantry, but you've spelt eerie as erie. Which is actually quite cute if I'm right in thinking it's because you're American and thinking of Lake Erie <3

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  29. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  30. (made a typo and couldn't live with myself)

    I really loved that last one! Must remember to use.

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  31. 2manywhiskers22 April 2010 02:59

    To Anon at 23:58 - no, it was a typo, but yes, I am American, and within 2 hours of Lake Erie at that, so this gave me a good laugh!!

    The Whining Whales of Lake Erie - they are something to behold. :) Or whatever the corresponding word would be for "perceiving auditorially". There, now, I'm sure -that's- not a word. Is it?

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  32. Had any approaches from comedy writers about using your lines in movies or tv shows? you seem to be coming up frequently with comedy gold for a supremely arrogant arsehole of a boss, or possibly some kind of a self declared king of a small country.

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  33. Ahahaha, I swear the best part is the last line. He's all mad and pissy then all of a sudden seems kind of cheery and he says it. Go Adam! :)

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  34. You NEED to make lifes wet stain a tshirt..OMG I know a few people that would wear that one with pride..lol..to freakin funny..thanks Adam you make my mornings!!

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  35. LOL, nothing like venting all your subconscous hatreds and frustrations by sleeptalking. It sounds oddly therapeutic.

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  36. Yes! More reveals! I love hearing his reaction!

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  37. "You really are life's wet patch. An embarrassing little stain that no one wants to admit to.... or sleep on."


    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

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