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Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20100824

Aug 24 2010

"Before you begin, I'd just like to make it clear that I don't have the energy for a fake conversation."

 or click here
"I'm in a totally zen-like state… Can't you tell how fucking zen I am?!"
 or click here
"Shoot the wig! Shoot it! Don't let it get up again. Oh, that's the third rabid toupee we've had this week. Something wrong. Very wrong."
 or click here

Posted by Karen Slavick-Lennard at 07:13

26 comments:

  1. Rayjay24 August 2010 at 07:56

    Don't you mean "rabid" toupee?

    Although, I've seen a few hairpieces that could have passed for rabbits...

    Heh heh, 'hare'piece.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous24 August 2010 at 09:56

    "Before you begin, I just want to make it clear that I don't have the energy for a fake conversation."
    That should be put on T-shirts :) hehehehe

    ReplyDelete
  3. Karen Slavick-Lennard24 August 2010 at 10:14

    Rayjay - Ah, yes, that does make much more sense. I changed it. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  4. James Appleton24 August 2010 at 11:14

    Could the last one be a reference to the Simpsons episode 'Treehouse of Horror IX'? In one story, 'Hell Toupee', the culmination comes as the police shoot a living wig that is trying to escape.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Kate Porter24 August 2010 at 11:29

    Of all of STM's quotes so far, I think the one I'd most like to have on a t-shirt is "I'm in a totally zen-like state… Can't you tell how fucking zen I am?!"

    Followed as a close second by the fake conversation one. Two gems today!

    ReplyDelete
  6. stoney1324 August 2010 at 13:06

    Rabid toupees, huh? That would explain many things! Including that thing on Donald Trump',s head that looks like it climbed up there and died!

    Yes, something is wrong! So very, very wrong!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Lora24 August 2010 at 13:17

    "Before you begin, I just want to make it clear that I don't have the energy for a fake conversation."

    I would like to point out that STM says 'like' and not 'want'. I've listened to it a couple of times now and it's definitely not 'want'.
    (But I don't doubt your otherwise excellent transcribsion skills).

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous24 August 2010 at 13:41

    This reminds me of the Simpsons Halloween episode where Homer gets possessed by an evil toupee, which ends up getting shot repeatedly.

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  9. Melanie24 August 2010 at 13:45

    Absolutely LOVE all of these!

    ReplyDelete
  10. WonkyLemur24 August 2010 at 14:37

    I would like to add my vote for "Zen" and "fake conversation" to be available on products. Pleasepleaseplease.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous24 August 2010 at 15:18

    Just as James, I thought about The Simpsons, Treehouse of horror. The one where Homer gets Snakes hair. XD

    Perny

    ReplyDelete
  12. Ms Amanda24 August 2010 at 15:32

    The ad just to the left of this comment box is for...... You guessed it! Wigs! How weird!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous24 August 2010 at 15:53

    my ad is for hair transplants XD

    ReplyDelete
  14. Karen Slavick-Lennard24 August 2010 at 16:57

    I LOVE looking at what GoogleAds turns up every day! -Karen

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous24 August 2010 at 20:39

    Enjoy STM every day!! Thank you for sharing. *Must* have a shirt or a bag with the "fake conversation" quote on it. Please?!?

    ReplyDelete
  16. International Woman of Mystery24 August 2010 at 22:14

    I just found your blog. It's so hilarious. I was laughing outloud at work today and everyone was looking at me funny. Thanks for sharing. It's great!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Anonymous25 August 2010 at 00:41

    With a ringtone, you'd have people wondering if it's the caller or the phone that doesn't have the energy for a fake conversation!
    If I didn't live in the dark ages with no ring tone options, I'd be clamoring for this one.

    ReplyDelete
  18. LA/wts25 August 2010 at 02:46

    I suggest a more humane solution: just bombard it with hairspray until it's immobilized..... 7@=Q

    ReplyDelete
  19. Anonymous25 August 2010 at 04:05

    I rather like the idea of a rabbit toupee - the hare club for men! ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  20. Anonymous25 August 2010 at 04:06

    I can see the "fake conversation" on coffee mugs sitting on cubicle desks all across the English-speaking world...

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  21. Anonymous25 August 2010 at 04:07

    With the first comment on the "fake conversation" it sounds like he's doesn't want you instigating his talking at night or something like that.

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  22. SarahBeth26 August 2010 at 03:03

    I'm voting for the "fake-conversation" tee shirt as well!! How great to just get that out of the way, right up front!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Anonymous26 August 2010 at 19:23

    Is there any chance of a "zen" card?

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  24. Anonymous12 September 2010 at 08:40

    Haha, this is hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Guy2 January 2011 at 17:06

    In a bizarre coincidence, I wrote a poem in July called, "Don't Fuck with my Zen". Just thought I'd pass that along (I posted it here - http://elkindisguise.blogspot.com/2010/09/poetry-purge.html - in September after getting back from a summer on an isolated island. It's the last poem in the post).

    ReplyDelete
  26. Tramadol For Sale Online UK25 July 2016 at 14:45

    Rabid toupees, huh?

    ReplyDelete

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