Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20100907

Sep 7 2010

"If I sell ice cream, I'd be king. If I sell ice cream, I'd rule the world. But I don't sell ice cream. I sell chickens. Chickens suck. They make bad milkshakes."

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And here's Adam musing about this statement, and finding his true purpose in life (transcription below):


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ADAM: It's all those feathers and beaks that gets caught up in the machinery that makes a bad milkshake. Either that, or they simply don't have the capacity for the concentration to learn how many scoops of ice cream to put in the blender and when to press the button. All they wanna do is roost and lay eggs in the van. Cause it's a mobile milkshake maker. (gasp!) The Mobile Milkshake Maker! MMM! That's a really good idea! The Mobile Milkshake Maker, MMM! No?
KAREN: It's a wonderful idea, Baby. Let's try it. Let's quit our jobs.
ADAM: Don't— Don't patronize me! It's far too early for that.


34 comments:

  1. Love it..........Mmm :-)

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  2. It's a GREAT idea... i'm all for it. XD

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  3. That was hilarious! both the quote and the quip! I lol'd for both!

    Awesome stuff!

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  4. erm chicken milkshake.......doesnt soundnice very nice....funny though!!

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  5. The mobile milkshake machine=MMM

    BRILLIANT!!

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  6. Don't— Don't patronize me! It's far too early for that.

    ROTFL!

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  7. This is the best blog ever! LOL!

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  8. Oh my! This was so great that I couldn't help but re-post it for my friends!! Greatest EVER! Karen and Adam--love yinz both!!

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  9. Mobile Milkshake Maker. MMM. Yes I could see where that would work out quite nicely!

    I would pass on the chickens though. I'm a Yank, and we like our chicken fried here, not blended! Besides all those beaks and feathers do gum up the machinery, only marginally less than the bones!

    Actually the best thing to do with a chicken here in America is to load one into an air cannon, and shoot it at an airplane! Oddly enough we have employed in this country, men who have made this grand task their life's work! They receive a handsome salary for their positions, which should tell you all you need to know about life in America!

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  10. a chicken milkshake in the real world is a chicken nugget i think. saw it on Jamie oliver- he puts all the bits and scraps of organs and what not into the blender, then that goo gets fried and u get a nugget. :)

    im point scoring for the vegetarians out there :)

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  11. lol Mobile Milkshake Maker.... MMM!!!
    I got the perfect vehicle. get a van and equip it with the ability to launch itself up and down as you drive down the street!!!
    and just think Karen.... you can make real chocolate ones instead of just having that chocolate strip stuck in a vanilla one!!!

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  12. I have to be honest. While I love the things STM says in his sleep, I think I look forward to the waking conversations you have more. You're just so adorable together!

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  13. Mobile Milkshake Maker!. Seriously that is inspired. It's one of those things that makes you think, "why has nobody thought of this before?"

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  14. Happy Hour Julie7 September 2010 14:47

    Sorry Adam... it's been done (how soon we forget the Bass-o-matic).

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  15. As an urban chicken farmer, I MUST have this on a shirt!

    Sometimes I think STM must have known my ID. Now I know they were roomies back in college.

    And he's right, chickens DO make terrible milkshakes. They always forget to put the lid on the blender....

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  16. Oh my that would make a good line in a country song. Can't you hear it?

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  17. Don't insult chickens. Chickens are awesome. trust me. (I am a chicken farmer)

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  18. Oh, I love the little pout in his voice at the end of "Don't patronize me..."

    Made my day!!!

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  19. I myself LOVE chickens, by the way, as does Adam. He wants us to have chickens as soon as we have a garden big enough!

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  20. I'm just loving the fact that the Google ad I'm getting on this page is for a VitaMix - Smoothies, Ice Cream, Hot Soups!

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  21. The sad fact is that chickens DO make excellent shakes. It's what McD's does with all the trimmed fat from them. It boils it, then emulsifies it and chills it so that the milk powder and flavouring can be added. That's why their shakes aren't labelled veggie.

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  22. "Don't patronize me! It's far too early for that."

    Is it ever too soon to patronize the one you claim to love?

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  23. Hey, you never know when you need a chicken.

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  24. "If I sell ice cream, I'd be king. If I sell ice cream, I'd rule the world. But I don't sell ice cream. I sell chickens."
    This is killingly funny! I would like to have this on a shirt =D
    And the MMM.. brilliant idea!

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  25. You could do it with a scooby doo twist- The mobile milkshake maker mystery machine, or the mystery mobile milkshake maker machine... or something. Then its MMMMM, which means that the milkshakes are even yummier! Love you guys :)

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  26. We finally know why STM hates vegetarians so much! He's a chicken seller, vegetarians are bad for business!!

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  27. It seems Wallace Stevens agreed with STM about ice cream......

    After all, as far as I know, he never wrote a poem titled, "The Emperor of Chickens"....... 7@=Q

    Good luck with the business venture, though..... I'm stuck sitting on a warehouse full of unsold dancing octopi and lobsters...... 7x=Q

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  28. Chicken milkshake is STM's plan to force-feed unsuspecting vegetarians. I am a meat lover and I would like to see how chicken and milkshake can blend together. Ba-gawk!

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  29. Perhaps STM was thinking about Cochicken?

    "Will It Blend? - Coke + Chicken = Cochicken"
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0m4x0y3QNw

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  30. please please please! make "chickens suck. they make bad milkshakes." and "don't. . don't patronize me. it's too early for that." into t-shirts. both are absolutely hilarious and need to be shared with the general populace.

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  31. I could go for a little mobile milkshake... MMM indeed... :)...

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  32. Meat slurry.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meat_slurry

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