Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20101004

Oct 4 2010

"Yeah. Life's a bitch. Hello, Life. Marry me."

 or click here
"I'd say welcome to the School of Life, but you wouldn't pass the entrance exam. Dickhead."
 or click here
"They can't climb the cushion mountain. Far too much risk of avalanche. Molly mountain goats kicking down the rugs. Must find another way around. Must. I must get to Ice Cream Valhalla."
 or click here
__________

Karen's notes: That last one is just plain out there.

Molly = our little beagle

Valhalla = Viking heaven


26 comments:

  1. love that second one!

    Yeah, that third one is a little perplexing yet, still funny.

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  2. first two are worthy of t-shirts. or could the first one go on a greeting card. the second quote could probably go on a t-shirt as long as there was a picture of a school and Life as the door....envisioning the cartoon from "Far Side...School of Gifted...door says Pull and he's pushing (leaning into) the door. great stuff. last one is just awesome. what flavor is in ice cream valhalla? now that question will likely be answered by STM in another mumbling.

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  3. Ice Cream Valhalla sounds marvelous. Where all the world's lazy people go when they die, to feast eternally on every flavor of ice cream... with a giant mix-in bar, and fresh fruit and hot fudge to put on top!

    Man, now I'm hungry.

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  4. Always fantastically entertaining! Thanks for the giggles.

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  5. On the subject from yesterday of an STM movie... it could be really psychedelic if they actually tried to capture some of these dreams!!! It could be very colourful, sort of like "Across the Universe"? Or a live/animation mix?

    Oh the possibilities!!!! Too bad I don't have millions or I'd finance it! We could all be rich! Muwahahahaaaaa,,,,

    Oh, and good morning! :)

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  6. molly mountain goats and ice cream Valhalla. sounds divine!

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  7. Please share the location of the Ice Cream Valhalla....

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  8. Hey, it is about your 1 year anniversary for you blog right? I have been reading this blog since I saw it on the today show, every morning :)

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  9. HappyHourJulie4 October 2010 15:15

    "I'd say welcome to the School of Life, but you wouldn't pass the entrance exam."

    Would make a most-excellent t-shirt (notice how I left off the 'Dickhead part' - My partner has a shirt with the 'Your blue sky thinking is blighted with dark clouds of piss-poor ideas.' STM quote on it, but can't always wear it in mixed company (like the Eastern Star activities she almost wore it to). Love from Louisville!

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  10. Oh my, good night for quotes those first two are PERFECT T-shirt fodder.

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  11. Actually Asgard is the Viking Heaven, Valhalla is the highest point in Asgard where warriors killed in battle go. In Valhalla the fallen warriors fight forever, but never die. Now I have a picture in my mind of burly men in horned helmets lobbing ice cream at each other. Not really working for me at all!

    The third one is so far out there the don't even make maps to go there!

    I'm trying to picture Molly as a mountain goat. Not working for me either!

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  12. Well, considering that in Valhalla you not only fight all the time, but you taking huge feasting breaks, ice cream there makes sense.

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  13. I would like to go to Ice Cream Valhalla too, can someone please take me? I don't think they are ADA compliant and I am in a wheelchair, so if someone can carry me, that would be very nice, thank you. :)

    -- a 12 year old STM fan (don't worry the swearing does not offend me, I am mature for my age)

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  14. I'll help you Anonymous. I'm used to dealing with my mom's wheelchair & anyway I'm so fat I need the extra excercise before I eat the ice cream. ;-)

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  15. JamiSings, thank you! I did not want to miss out on the ice cream...I can pass on that whole war thing, though. :)

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  16. Interesting. Valhalla was only available to Norse warriors who died on the field of battle. Does this mean sleep talking man want's to die on the field of battle against ice cream?

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  17. I played on cushion mountains in my wayward youth. Loved it.

    And Ice Cream Valhalla sounds like heavan to me...but hot fudge, marshmallow syrup required...

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  18. Still, Ice Cream Valhalla will not last forever: there is a prophecy of the treachery of Gunki (god of cholesterol), and the dreaded "Speise-eiserdämmerung" ("Twilight of the Ice Cream")........ 7@=Q

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  19. Stoney murmured, "I'm trying to picture Molly as a mountain goat. Not working for me either!"

    I'm thinking Molly as the dog in the Hagar the Horrible cartoons - with a Viking helmet.

    Valhalla Ice Cream Parlor - where all your treats are delivered by Valkyries!

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  21. Somebody ought to write a book or a movie script with a main character based upon STM and his rants. An epic tale. I can totally picture the awesomeness...

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  22. the first 2 fits my life perfectly.... had a chance to go back to school, even attended the first day. Only to end up having to drop out the next day cause I have no way to get to class. though I did pass the exam for the "school of life" with flying colors. but as STM said, "Life's a bitch." just wasn't expecting to get married to it.
    ice cream vahalla.... oh god wish I could go. but with my luck they would let me get to the door and slam it in my face!
    @ anon 1842 - I don't know about you but that wouldn't be a bad way to go.
    but thanks to you STM, Adam and Karen, I can atleast it all with a smile and a laugh when I visit your website!!!

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  23. t shirts for all of them....
    one the front - "life's a bitch...."
    "Ice cream Vahalla..."
    one the back - "Hello life! Marry me!"
    "Here I come!!!!"

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  24. Im from Tasmania- Australia, and we have a local brand of ice cream called Valhalla!! haha

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  25. Did he ever read Wibbly Pig to his kids? I read it tonight to my four year old and there is a Cushion Mountain in it! It's a British storybook, too.

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  26. http://etastatic.dk/img/quote/crop/view/cd121d76fdf1f57038b47997345848c1.jpg

    These are very popular in denmark : D

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