Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20101006

Oct 6 2010

"Everyday I wake up and I think, I look more and more like the perfect me."

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That was from the nest-egg, as we had no actual sleep-talking last night. We did, however, have this bizarre sleep-attack from me:


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Karen's notes: I can explain "I think it had something to do with animals?" For days, I've been obsessively combing the net for animal sanctuaries around the world for our next volunteering holiday. So it's no surprise that I'm seeing nothing in my sleep except vervet monkeys, sloths, sea turtles, manatees, kinkajous, marmosets, cheetahs...

I've added to yesterday's post a fabulous graphic created by Flamboyant Gelatinous Kumquat. (I hope that's okay, Kumquat! If you want to let us know your real name, we'll add that.)

Transcription from reveal:


ADAM: OH!!!!!
KAREN: OH OH OH!!!
ADAM: JESUS!
KAREN: What's happened? I think I—
ADAM: What did you do? What was it!?
KAREN: It was in my sleep, too. I think I was—
ADAM: GOD DAMNIT!
KAREN: What did I do exactly?
ADAM: You karate chopped my face.
KAREN: No! What?
ADAM: What were you dreaming to karate chop my face?
KAREN: I think it had something to do with animals? Or, um.... Sorry I karate chopped your face, baby.


42 comments:

  1. Ha ha ha! Schadenfreude at its best. I kind of wish we heard a big slap just beforehand.

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  2. adam, karen's a sweetheart. even her sweet sleep mumblings are very endearing. such love you two. awwww.

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  3. I once had a dream that my sister was making me mad, so I pinched her, and woke up to my hubby hollering, I had ahold of his chest and pinched him hard enough to leave a bruise!

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  4. One time, my sister had a friend sleeping over... well, they weren't sleeping. They stayed up past 3 A.M giggling constantly. When I woke up in the morning, they told me that I'd gotten up in the night, walked over to my sister's bed, slapped them both, then got back into bed. All while I was asleep. Sounds like I had the right idea!

    But if you're looking for somewhere to volunteer at, there's a preservation place in northern Queensland where they're looking after and studying Tree Kangaroos. Yes, Kangaroos which are going -backwards- with evolution, and are returning to the trees! I wish I could see them!

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  5. Priceless! Reminds me of the one time I got whacked by my b/f's arm as he was "holding me back" for some reason in his dream. lmao.

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  6. ROFLMAO! Brilliant! I used to be like that when I was younger. One night when my Grandma was staying over I kicked the covers off my bed and she got up to put them back on when I attacked her with a large teddy and kicked them off again. When she told me about it the next day I didn't believe it until the next night I did the same thing and she woke me up while I was hitting her with the same teddy! Apparently the fright of waking up like that stopped me from doing it again.

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  7. "Sorry I Karete chopped your face baby" sooooo needs to be in the shop!

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  8. As for animal sanctuaries, this one isn't quite as exotic as it seems like you're looking at. Best Friends Animal Sanctuary, it's in Utah. It is a great organization that does amazing things for it's animals, at least check it out. They always need and accept volunteers!

    http://www.bestfriends.org/

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  9. correction: *its animals

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  10. Oh man, I want to go to Costa Rica to volunteer at the sloth orphanage there!

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  11. Alison: PLEASE get in touch via email! I am looking at that sanctuary!

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  12. i bet the sanctuary will be slow getting back to you!!

    did i lose my amnesty?

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  13. I think you lost yesterday's, today's, and tomorrow's amnesty.

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  14. To explain: as flawless as Sleep Talkin' Man's wit is, Adam does not always have such impeccable taste in jokes and puns. At one point, I instituted a system of amnesty, by which Adam gets to make one really lame joke a day. If he doesn't use his amnesty on a particular day, he does get to carry it over to next day. But he can only carry one. He doesn't get to rack them all up for a month and then have an entire day of cringe-worthy jokes.

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  15. HappyHourJulie6 October 2010 15:14

    I couldn't find the date you actually started the blog (OK... so I really didn't look real hard), but it would appear it is about a year old this month. Happy Anniversary!

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  16. martha www.marthagiberson.com6 October 2010 15:44

    Here in the states there is also this: http://www.elephants.com/

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  17. LMAO at the amnesty.

    Tree Kangaroos! How intriguing!

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  18. i wish to point out that i have not used an amnesty in MONTHS. yes months! i know i am funny, i make myself laugh...a lot. i am my best audience.

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  19. Normally I comment under my name. Today, due to the embarrassing and painful nature of the comments contents, I'll going anon. Wait, did that just give me away?

    Once in high school, my sister and I were sharing a bed. I awakened in the middle of the night just a split second before my sister's elbow crashed down between my rib cage. With elbow firmly planted where the the ribs separate, she preceded to roll over, making me feel as if my ribs were being ripped apart. the right side staying where it was while the left was being hauled away. I believe I screamed and rolled with her to keep my body intact.

    And then there's the night when I sat up in bed and leaned over my husband and bit his penis. He awakened in shock and I laid back down on my side of the bed still asleep. This is why you wear pajamas, people.*

    Why don't we all share our sleep pain?

    *We haven't learned our lesson.

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  20. I am the same way, Adam! I will crack myself up and keep giggling until I'm crying with laughter...and nobody else gets it. Doesn't matter -- I'm my own best audience and I always laugh! xD

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  21. Every night is an adventure in this house....sometimes a violent one apparently.

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  22. Best Friends is a great organization, I was coming to suggest it and was glad someone already has. I bet they AREN'T slow in getting back to you, they are awesome!

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  23. Early in my now defunct marriage, my husband engaged in a dream fistfight with his alcoholic father. He rolled over and planted one in my eye, knocking me clean out of the bed. After a few moment he awoke to find me crying quietly on the floor and was completely appalled.

    I was then forced to explain to people why I had a black eye. They believed my husband hit me - which was true - but not necessarily that he was asleep at the time. Note: He never punched me when he was awake ;)

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  24. (am I the only one that got what Adam meant at 14:09?)

    :-)

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  25. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  26. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  27. Dadrat it! I keep hitting the worng button.

    I meant to say, I got it, but I think the reason most people blew past it is that the word sloth was originally adjacent to the word orphanage, and then Karen used 'sanctuary' instead and so did Adam. People tend to do subconscious word association; if Adam had said "I bet the orphanage will be slow getting back to you" they would have gone "orphanage --> sloth" and laughed. :)

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  28. I'm sure you've looked at volunteering to help with the pandas?

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  29. An interesting side note:

    Some of these incidents seem to contradict the usual presumption of REM-sleep paralysis. I know *I've* had dreams in which I was attempting to fight off some tormentor, which ended in my kicking the covers off, or knocking things off the nightstand........ 7@=e

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  30. @Grace: The word choice had nothing to do with my ignoring the comment. I just wasn't interested in supporting a punny joke. ;-)

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  31. You go Adam. OUR kind of humor may take some thought but thats what smart people do. BTW, are you left handed? That's where the really strange stuff comes from.

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  32. Growing up in the fanatical cult commune in the wilderness we DID have a lot of lefties... and redheads. No wonder they used to burn us as witches!

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  33. You all make me glad I sleep alone - except for my dog Minnie - and the worse she does is fart in my face.

    I move a lot in my sleep. I'm told when I was little I used to sleep walk and even talk in my sleep occasionally now. On vacations while sharing a room mom will wake me up to ask me what I was talking about.

    I also have lots of nightmares and have woken myself up attempting to scream and being unable to.

    But all this talking about kicking, punching, etc. So glad I don't share the bed with another human being. Yay for being single!

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  34. I had a dream once as a teenager that I was trying to take a battery from my brother, but he wouldn't let go of it. I woke up to find myself grasping one of the spindles of my bed frame, trying to pull it toward me. I don't think I've ever attacked anyone in my sleep though.

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  35. I'd love to see " Sorry I karate chopped your face baby" in the shop, hilarious!

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  36. When i was younger on my grandfathers ranch one of there hourses would run,talk and growl in its sleep!

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  37. My bf talks in his sleep but all he talks about is football though :(

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  38. I have hit my boyfriend in the face while I was sleeping. I was telling someone to sit down in my dream and I slapped him in the face twice. He thought I was in trouble so he woke me up, the slapping didn't even wake me up...haha. The crazy things we do in our sleep.

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  39. People who make "lame" jokes or puns throughout the day are just showing they are paying full attention to the conversation and their environment. I see no reason to have penalties or amnesties directed at a person who is simply demonstrating he is paying full attention to you. Yes, I too am a lame-joker punster. LOL By the way, I SAW a tree kangaroo just the other day at the Franklin Park Zoo in Boston, MA. Odd looking thing.

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  40. oh great.... now I got the song "Everybody is kung fu fighting! They was fast as lightning" stuck in my head as soon as I heard what you did to adam!
    still brought a tear to my eye from keeping from laughing out loud.
    to the Anon that bit her hubby's penis..... OW OW OW OW OW OW OW!!!!

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  41. I'm never sleeping naked again, thanks to that anon penis biter post!

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  42. Hello.. Firstly I would like to send greetings to all readers. After this, I recognize the content so interesting about this article. For me personally I liked all the information. I would like to know of cases like this more often. In my personal experience I might mention a book called Green Parks Costa Rica in this book that I mentioned have very interesting topics, and also you have much to do with the main theme of this article.

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