Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20110401

Apr 1 2011

"The time is a quarter to I-make-sweet-love-to-you. Doooooong."

 or click here
"It's not sweat. It's my aura glistening."
 or click here
"Any attempt at being intelligent is fucking futile. Now go take your banana and play on a friggin' rope… Hello, and what would you like for Christmas?"
 or click here
__________

Karen's notes: Concerning that first one, this is STM's imitation of the Talking Clock, a phone number you can call to listen to the time. Adam's mother tells us that when she was younger and working at a lame job, she used to regularly call the Talking Clock out of sheer boredom.

And that last one, well, now we know what we'd get if STM were Santa.


20 comments:

  1. It's STM being Bad Santa!

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  2. Horses sweat, men pespire, and women glow; but apparently STM does none of these things and just has a glistening aura instead.

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  3. I can't help but wonder if the last one is related to the monkey sanctuary :P

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  4. I want the second one on a t-shirt so I can wear it at the gym!

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  5. I used to call the talking clock when I was little out of sheer boredom, too.

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  6. I agree with Heidi, I wanna wear the glistening aura shirt to the gym!

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  7. Yep, glistening aura on workout shirts would be a total WIN! Heck, gym bags too. Anything likely to exist in proximity to a sweaty individual should proudly proclaim this.

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  8. Aw. The first one is sweet... and should go on a nightie or underwear (pants lol).

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  9. These are hilarious! The best in a while, in my opinion.

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  10. I think every country has its own version of Talking Clocks. Here in indonesia we dial 103 for that. What's ur number? Bet it's fun to call other countries' talking clocks :-)

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  11. I'm with Heidi. The second one would be great for a gym shirt.

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  12. I'm with all the above basically: would definitely wear the aura glistening one at the gym :)

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  13. These are all EXCELLENT. The first one sounds like a Barney Stinson line from How I Met Your Mother... lol

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  14. The guy I sit next to at work rings the speaking clock..... it's freaking weird......

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  15. The version of the Talking Clock that we had when I was growing up (in the midwest USA) was "Time and Temperature" ... it'd tell you the time and give you the weather report for the day along with the current temperature. ... And then they invented the internet. ;o)

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  16. Now his aura is glistening?! Is he channeling Jimi Hendrix?

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  17. for some reason... i wholly enjoy the second one.

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  18. My goodness, but in that first one STM appears to have quite a long dong.

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