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Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20110403

Apr 3 2011

"Okay, okay, you've got to meet me halfway here, alright? I'm sorry for smacking you in the face, but, you've got to apologize for existing."

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That was from yesterday, early morning. And here is how Adam woke up:


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Adam's referring to a program that I came across while perusing the TV guide Friday night. It was such a brilliant example of the state of television programming today, I just had to read to him:

Please note, we did NOT watch this program.
STM: DISCHARGE!
KAREN: Uh... okay...
ADAM: I didn't say anything, I didn't.
KAREN: Okay, you didn't.
ADAM: That was horrible.
KAREN: Do you know—
ADAM: That was visual!
KAREN: What did—
ADAM: Oh, oh, I pictured it in my head. And I know I said it, because I screamed it in my head.
KAREN: What exactly were you seeing in your head?
ADAM: Do you remember the program, last night?
KAREN: Yes.
ADAM: That's what I had in my head. A giant one.
KAREN: So in your head, you were seeing a giant vagina... leaking?
ADAM: I was seeing enormous vaginal discharge. It was like a tsunami flowing towards me. I think I was shouting to warn the neighbors.

27 comments:

  1. STM owes me a keyboard. Mine is now dripping with cola.

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  2. Can that man of yours be anymore twisted Karen? Never fails to give me my daily grins and giggles.

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  3. Whenever you made that decision to share STM with the world, you made the best decision anyone has made in YEARS.

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  4. My partner and I both had a good laugh from this, especially considering the fact we saw the "Vagina Monologues" last night and the first image this conjured was the monologue about "the flood"!!! Lmao!!!!

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  5. I watch embarrassing bodies! Its the funniest programme on tv, you really can't make any of this stuff up!

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  6. Shouting to warn the neighbours. Classic.

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  7. Lovely doc Dawn has a practice near where I live! Never met her though, perhaps she only treats the more 'unusual' cases...

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  8. This post made an ad for rash cream appear. Gross.... thanks a lot, STM! (:

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  9. You really should watch that program you know, It's bloody brilliant!

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  10. What the christ

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  11. I like how he says the "Discharge!" like he's a commander on a battlefield. Like he's ordering the release of tsunami from his field weapons (like cannons, but with... fluids.)

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  12. I just love the first one. ;) It's brilliant! It's almost sounds like an apology until the very last part. :P

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  13. Ok, I LOVE Doctor Who, and I LOVE Sherlock, but aside from those, I have to say... British television is WEIRD.

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  14. i can still hear you talking on scalar...even down down down past level 63
    EA's Sofia

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  15. MIT...say what you really mean lol...you guys crack me..psst psst psst psst ...ill keep your secret
    sofia
    nephilim court

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  16. OmegaGoo said is right. Best. Idea. Ever.

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  17. I will pay handsomely for a t-shirt that says "Vaginal Discharge Tsunami" :)

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  18. Oh, but Embarrassing Bodies is awesome. There's something incredibly British about all the people saying "I've had this... condition... for five years, but I've been too embarrassed to see a doctor..." before showing it off on national television.

    Because if you're going to embarrass yourself, hell, why not go all-in?

    Best not watched at dinner time.

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  19. oh just gotta love British humor.... some of the best jokes and gags ever.
    I think this is the only website that can make me cry and laugh at the same time.

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  20. Poor Adam. I see lots and lots of therapy in his future due to VDT (vaginal discharge tsunami). *sigh*

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  21. Wow. Now that would definitely be a nightmare!

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  22. Ohhhh, should not have read that at work...

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  23. *awkward turtle*
    XD

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  24. The last one reminds me of Gwen's nightmare, at about 3:00 in this Margaret Cho routine. (NSFW)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAmcPS6xoZA

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  25. After my man and I finished our fit of hysterics, I turned to him and said, "No wonder men are so drawn to yet so scared of vaginas!! On behalf of all the vaginas of the world, I apologize!!!"

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  27. they film embarrassing bodies in the building where i work. should i be worried?? ;)

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