Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)


Feb 22 2012

"Oi. Oi! One pound?! Tooth fairy, ya thieving short-changing cunt! A fucking pound? What am I meant to do with that, you cheap shit?"

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Meanwhile, my brother and his girlfriend are visiting from the States, and early this morning Adam woke himself up yelling, just about the loudest he has ever done so. I'll have to ask them later today if they heard it down the hall.
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(rest of the reveal below)
KAREN: laughs.
ADAM: Um...
KAREN: That was loud.
ADAM: Oh god. Oh dear.
KAREN: I don't know if they woke up.
ADAM: It sounded angry.
KAREN: I'm not exactly sure what you said. You either said "cock tease" or "cock cheese."
ADAM: Ew. Well, if it sounded angry, maybe "cock tease."
KAREN: Yeah.
ADAM: Uness I was shouting at somebody else, in which case it could be "cock cheese." You know what? I don't really care, I want to go back to sleep, goodnight!
ADAM: No. And then sleep.
KAREN: And you—
ADAM: Oh you, don't—
KAREN: —called the tooth fairy a cheap bitch 'cause she only gave you a pound.
ADAM: I think more than a pound is just a bit gauche, don't you think? It's only a fucking milk tooth. It's not as if you worked for it. In fact, if anything, you were careless. You should have to pay the tooth fairy 'cause you lost your tooth.


  1. I just gotta say how much I love waking up to a good laugh from STM, and today's was extraordinary. Thank you both for brightening my mornings the past couple of years.

  2. Good morning Watson old chap.
    Perhaps STM could use that errant pound he received from the tooth fairy for some elocution lessons.
    Bad grammer Wot!
    Cheerio ol'bean.

  3. Good morning indeed!
    Aptly put old top.
    As usual you've hit the nail squarely on the head.
    Cheers my friend.

  4. What is STM still doing with milk teeth?

  5. At least it wasn't the Nerve Ending Fairy... you'd just get pocket lint.... 7@=Q

  6. That's what I should tell any kids I have who are disappointed with whatever they get from the Tooth Fairy. XD "You didn't work for it."

  7. Are milk teeth the same as baby teeth I wonder?

  8. I love the distressed whimpering before he yells.

  9. Did your brother and his girlfriend hear him shout?