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Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)


Jul 11 2012

"Bras: they're like... booby traps."

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"Listen up, people. Sasquatch has been in my sock drawer again, and now he's somewhere lose in the bathroom. So I'm setting up a six-foot perimeter fence, and someone bring me my clippers. He's mine this time."
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And the reveal:

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RECORDING: ...And someone bring me my clippers...
ADAM: What was—?
KAREN: Sasquatch. Bigfoot.
ADAM: Why does he want to shave him?
KAREN: Well, that's the whole thing about Bigfoot, he's hairy all over.
ADAM: Why does he want to shave him?!
KAREN: I think there's a more important question.
ADAM: A six-foot perimeter fence isn't a very big area.
KAREN: I know. That's why when you said it, I was thinking maybe it's a tiny, miniature Sasquatch.
ADAM: Littlefoot.
KAREN: Yeah, Littlefoot.
ADAM: He's been in his sock drawer, and now he's somewhere in the bathroom. Now, our bathroom's not very big—
KAREN: Exactly.
ADAM: Teenyfoot.
RECORDING: So, I'm setting up a six foot perimeter fence...
KAREN: A six-foot perimeter—That's, basically, this big (holds fingers up).
ADAM: That's not a six-foot perimeter.
KAREN: Oh, six-foot, not six-inch. But that's still just about this big (holds arms up).
ADAM: No. A bit bigger than that.
ADAM: Yes?
KAREN: That's a foot-and-a-half on each side.
ADAM: It's Microscopicfoot!
KAREN: (chuckles)
ADAM: Maybe he needs his clippers 'cause he's gonna shave the floor rugs to chase Microscopic Sasquatch out.
KAREN: Maybe he has teeny teeny tiny clippers.
ADAM: So how would he know if he's been in the sock drawer? If he's so small.
KAREN: Maybe he leaves slime.
ADAM: From what part of his body would Sasquatch, even Microscopic Sasquatch, leave slime?
KAREN: Oh! Oh! Okay, maybe he's microscopic, but he's actually got kind of long hairs. He's basically like a little fuzz ball. Maybe he sheds his hairs.
ADAM: If these hairs are small, right, then they could be really itchy.
KAREN: Yeah. That could be it. Whenever his socks are itchy, he knows Sasquatch has been in there... What was he doing in your sock drawer, though?
ADAM: There are certain things I keep in my sock drawer that I like to keep to myself.
KAREN: I'm the one who puts all your socks away after laundry, I know what's in there.
ADAM: Now you're just going to make out that you do all the domestic chores around here, and that's not exactly the truth now, is it?
KAREN: I do the laundry.
KAREN: I do the laundry.
ADAM: I hope you haven't been recording any of this.
KAREN: Who said I haven't?
ADAM: Oh, you bitch.


  1. Had a good chuckle today!

  2. While your conversation was hilarious, I think STM was talking about a [6-foot] [perimeter fence] rather than a [6-foot perimeter] [fence] - as in, a 6' tall perimeter fence...

    1. ^ Totally agree on both counts :)

  3. I'm still loving the pun...booby traps. Too good.

  4. OMG! the booby trap comment is just pure genius. Make sure it makes it onto a T-Shirt

  5. The Bra one as to be a t-shirt. That's hysterical.

  6. When STM said clippers, I assumed nail clippers. Like, maybe bigfoot had really long toe nails that were wrecking STM's socks, so STM wanted to take care of them.

  7. Definitely a perimeter fence that's 6' high, although... isn't Sasquatch supposed to be like 8 feet high? Still, I know how he can hide in the bathroom... disguised as a really big hair clog in the tub.

  8. I agree with Anonymous@03:04 - Sasquatch has been wearing STM's sock and poking through the toes. And if you set up a 6-foot perimeter fence around the bathroom, he could only come out a distance of 6 feet, thus making it easy to restrain him and clip the offending toenails. Simple!
    (And the booby trap is BRILLIANT!)

  9. The booby-trap joke is a good one, but it was used in Who Framed Roger Rabbit in 1988. Who could forget Jessica's cleavage?!

  10. The booby trap one needs to be on shirts!

  11. Dr. Backhaus tilbyder en måde at komme til at sove hurtigt. Naturlige sovepiller eller den alternative sovepiller naturmedicin er tilgængelige via hjemmesiden. Du kan købe online i disse fantastiske produkter.

  12. Adam, Just arrived at this sleep blog and for us German's we solve our sleep problems with these melatonin tabletten. You might want to try this Melatonin - great natural ingredient in switching the bedroom light off - If you know what I mean..