Jul 11 2012

"Bras: they're like... booby traps."

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"Listen up, people. Sasquatch has been in my sock drawer again, and now he's somewhere lose in the bathroom. So I'm setting up a six-foot perimeter fence, and someone bring me my clippers. He's mine this time."

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And the reveal:

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RECORDING:	...And someone bring me my clippers...
ADAM:	What was—?
KAREN:	Sasquatch. Bigfoot.
ADAM:	Why does he want to shave him?
KAREN:	Well, that's the whole thing about Bigfoot, he's hairy all over.
ADAM:	Why does he want to shave him?!
KAREN:	I think there's a more important question.
ADAM:	A six-foot perimeter fence isn't a very big area.
KAREN:	I know. That's why when you said it, I was thinking maybe it's a tiny, miniature Sasquatch.
ADAM:	Littlefoot.
KAREN:	Yeah, Littlefoot.
ADAM:	He's been in his sock drawer, and now he's somewhere in the bathroom. Now, our bathroom's not very big—
KAREN:	Exactly.
ADAM:	Teenyfoot.
RECORDING:	So, I'm setting up a six foot perimeter fence...
KAREN:	A six-foot perimeter—That's, basically, this big (holds fingers up).
ADAM:	That's not a six-foot perimeter.
KAREN:	Oh, six-foot, not six-inch. But that's still just about this big (holds arms up).
ADAM:	No. A bit bigger than that.
KAREN:	Six-foot PERIMETER—
ADAM:	Yes?
KAREN:	That's a foot-and-a-half on each side.
ADAM:	It's Microscopicfoot!
KAREN:	(chuckles)
ADAM:	Maybe he needs his clippers 'cause he's gonna shave the floor rugs to chase Microscopic Sasquatch out.
KAREN:	Maybe he has teeny teeny tiny clippers.
ADAM:	So how would he know if he's been in the sock drawer? If he's so small.
KAREN:	Maybe he leaves slime.
ADAM:	From what part of his body would Sasquatch, even Microscopic Sasquatch, leave slime?
KAREN:	Oh! Oh! Okay, maybe he's microscopic, but he's actually got kind of long hairs. He's basically like a little fuzz ball. Maybe he sheds his hairs.
ADAM:	If these hairs are small, right, then they could be really itchy.
KAREN:	Yeah. That could be it. Whenever his socks are itchy, he knows Sasquatch has been in there... What was he doing in your sock drawer, though?
ADAM:	There are certain things I keep in my sock drawer that I like to keep to myself.
KAREN:	I'm the one who puts all your socks away after laundry, I know what's in there.
ADAM:	Now you're just going to make out that you do all the domestic chores around here, and that's not exactly the truth now, is it?
KAREN:	I do the laundry.
ADAM:	IS IT?
KAREN:	I do the laundry.
ADAM:	I hope you haven't been recording any of this.
KAREN:	Who said I haven't?
ADAM:	Oh, you bitch.