Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20130121

Jan 21 2013

This is one of those times that Adam's real life circumstances broke through to STM's world. A few weeks ago, Adam found a lump in his groin. It turned out to be a very swollen lymph node, which could have any one of a large number of explanations, many of them quite benign, a couple of them less benign. Sometime amidst his many doctor's appointments to determine what happens next, STM came out with this:
"Yeah, Lumpy, you wanna come mess with me in my house, you'd better come armed to the teeth and bring friends. I'll fuck you up, mother-fucker."
 or click here

Thanks, STM, for providing Adam a healthy outlet to help work through the anxiety while we wait for news.

And here is the conversation we had the next morning:
 or click here
ADAM: Go down.
KAREN: Who are you talking to?
ADAM: Lump.
KAREN: Oh wait, that explains... hold on... what did you say? OH, I didn't put it together at the time! You said, "Lumpy, if you're gonna fuck with me, you'd better come armed to the teeth." But I totally didn't make the connection.
ADAM: I shall give Lump a name. I'm gonna call it Rupert. It's inoffensive if you give it a name like Rupert.
KAREN: Okay, I like that idea. We'll call it Rupert.
ADAM: And then I won't mind when Rupert's gone.
KAREN: You know what? I bet you that if we start referring to it as Rupert, you'll start developing an affection for it.
ADAM: No. Rupert's an uninvited guest. He's made himself at home, and he's eating my food, and drinking my drink, and he's just pissing me off. He's just fat, bloated Rupert.

31 comments:

  1. All the best, STM. Hope it's nothing they can't fix.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. the only person that can fix STM is chuck Norris. But only if STM says it's OK

      Delete
  2. "Rupert's an uninvited guest. He's made himself at home, and he's eating my food, and drinking my drink, and he's just pissing me off. He's just fat, bloated Rupert."

    With STM AND Adam both heaping scorn on his head(?) I'm betting that Rupert is going to be easy to evict! Best wishes for a speedy and positive outcome.
    (the other Karen)

    ReplyDelete
  3. So glad to to know that I'm not the only person on the planet who names those pesky medical issues in order to make them less scarey. I had Bert & Ernie surgically removed last year, but before that happened it was nice to be able to quickly explain to my husband that "Bert" was being a brat whenever he saw me wince. It also made having phone conversations much easier when I was at work and everybody could over hear what I was talking about.

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  4. Best wishes and fingers crossed that "Rupert" is just an unwelcome(and benign) cyst or something of that sort, i.e. relatively harmless! I'm glad to hear that STM is helping Adam cope with the uncertainty :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Good luck, Adam, and hope Rupert will never darken your towels again! 7@=e

    ReplyDelete
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  7. Hope all's well mate.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I HAVE THE WIDEST GRIN EVER

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. in case it was metaphorical http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KxtgS2lU94
      otherwise it's hypochondria. one should not be afraid of death. lymph nodes come and go, been there done that

      Delete
    2. ITS
      NEVER
      LU(M)PUS

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  10. Hope all goes well!

    ReplyDelete
  11. New blog reader from NZ here, finally read through all the archives and managed to catch up :D love reading the blog, and Im actually a sleeptalker myself, and say pretty coherent things, though definitely nowhere near as funny as STM (except maybe when there's walking involved too)

    Hope Rupert's simply a harmless little cyst and nothing serious, all the best :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I applaud your dedication, awesome.

      Rupert was a Lymph glad. Rupert has been evicted.

      Adam

      Delete
  12. Get out of town Rupert!

    ReplyDelete
  13. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  14. Rupert update........
    Rupert has now moved out - well, he was evicted.
    Rupert was a Lymph gland that had swollen massively for a Lymph gland.
    We do not know what was wrong with Rupert yet. Rupert's in general don't like to talk and they are notorious for being difficult to get accurate results from.
    Rupert has gone. That alone is worth celebrating!
    Thanks for all your messages of support.
    Adam

    ReplyDelete
  15. That's a great relief!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Cheers, sweetie, what a relief! I've been sending prayers/good vibes to both you and Karen; it's odd how fond I've become of two (well, three including STM...no, four, including The Little Monkey! :) people in another country that I don't know and will never meet. But your silliness and this blog got me through the worst depression of my life; I could always come here and know that even if I hadn't laughed all day, I surely would if I just heard STM's voice, or the Hilarious Reveals. So you are both very dear to me, in a loving-but-not-stalking sorta way, and I wish you both, the Monkey, and Molly all the best.

    Your Pal,

    Storm

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Storm, thank you for you lovely words of support. Having suffered with depression myself, I am touched to know that the random musings of STM and the morning conversations between Karen and myself can bring a ray of light into a person's life.

      So, thank you.

      Adam

      Delete
    2. All I need to say is, Storm is certainly not the only one. It may be long from over, but the latter few of the past decade has been much lighter thanks to the five of you! How can you not count Molly after all? It's often the simplest, littlest things that make a world of difference.

      -Simply Anonymous

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