Bad puppy!! I'll never look at my slippers without giggling ever again!! What we will ever do for good value entertainment if Adam stops sleep talking? I don't even want to think about it...
I noticed you deleted your own post where you said this blog was the new Santa. Hmmmm? I think you said a bit more than you wanted to there. I guess you don't want to admit the whole truth and blow the book deal eh?
when i was a little boy i always thought about a human race... like a triathlon, or the olympics, but i never put it onto paper. that one wwas definately my favorite so far.
'It's a human race. And you lost.' should be added to the store list. That's a classic.
I wish I was half as clever awake as this guy is asleep.
Did you ever see those Shakespearean insult coffee mugs? You should do that sort of thing. he's so prolific you could put out a new mug every January, covered with his most popular phrases of the previous year. Forget little web sales--every gift shop in America would want to carry them.
it is truly hard to breathe, i am laughing so hard going through all of these. what a colorful vocabulary he has!! some of the things he says in the middle of the night, i wish i could say to my boss :D
please keep these coming!! and more audio clips? those are always a treat!! :)
Yesterday my 6-month-old mini mutt chewed up my eyeglasses and chewed a plate-sized hole right in the center of my bed quilt. Puppy slippers are sounding really good right about now. :p
who cares if this is true or not? if he's sleep talking or making this #$# up as he goes? it's plain ol' funny - and we could all use a little more of that in our lives (I teach high school - believe me!) if someone manages to make a little money off it - power to them.
Funny I can't wait till I can buy a t'shirt. I'm getting the one with the pirate quote or duck one I'm not sure there all so funny. The first time I read this blog I about died laughing I couldn't stop. Don't care if this is made up or not regardless if he's saying this in his sleep Its halarious and genious lol. I do believe someone would say this off the wall stuff in there sleep for once I asked "wheres the bathroom button" in my sleep and countless times my mom has said some pretty off the wall stuff in her sleep as well.
Oh my gosh! I don't care if it's true or not true, you'd sort of have to be a comic genius to come up with things soooo random every single day (or almost).
I'm just trying to picture someone, anyone saying "seeping anal gash".... not happening.
"You know, it's a human race. And you lost." LMFAO!!!! I can't believe this stuff sometimes! I come here EVERY DAY just to see what he said. This is TOO funny!
Hi, I'm a girl from Sweden, I just wanted you to know that you're quite known here in Sweden as well. :) And I really love to read all the rude things Adam says in his sleep! It really makes my day. :D
Woah do a person request him or her in the event that you might have the pup? I'm certain when a person do presently there will be much more canine things.
I'm turning over in stitches!!! OUCH!!!!
ReplyDeleteThis might be my favorite one!
ReplyDeleteThe last one. :D
ReplyDeleteYou lost. LOL
ReplyDeleteGOLD!!!
ReplyDelete(oh,I'd love to hear the audio for those pearls...)
Puppy slipper????? That's hilarious.....
ReplyDeletehahaha brilliant!!!
ReplyDeletelmfao
ReplyDeleteDoes he ever remember what he's dreaming about to come up with these gems? And is he this funny while he's awake?
ReplyDeleteI want puppy slippers!
ReplyDelete[sarcasm]I REALLY needed that 'seeping anal gash' imagery in my head.[/sarcasm]
ReplyDeleteAnyways, absolutely HILARIOUS as usual.
That is hysterical. anal gash...another great Tee
ReplyDeleteSeeping Anal Gash.....Omigosh!!
ReplyDeleteLove love love
As hilarious as ever :o) 'Puppy slippers' is a brilliant one....!! Thank you for posting these - it really does brighten up my morning!
ReplyDeleteBad puppy!! I'll never look at my slippers without giggling ever again!! What we will ever do for good value entertainment if Adam stops sleep talking? I don't even want to think about it...
ReplyDeleteThat must be a very ugly dog
ReplyDelete"more attractive than a seeping anal gash. But only just"
Karen,
ReplyDeleteI noticed you deleted your own post where you said this blog was the new Santa. Hmmmm? I think you said a bit more than you wanted to there. I guess you don't want to admit the whole truth and blow the book deal eh?
Remember, you haven't fooled us all. ;:
I don't think that comedians, with hours of work put into their routines, could come up with some of the gems your husband comes up with. Priceless!
ReplyDeletewhen i was a little boy i always thought about a human race... like a triathlon, or the olympics, but i never put it onto paper. that one wwas definately my favorite so far.
ReplyDeleteThis is the best set yet. Absolutely hysterical.
ReplyDeleteOMG, "You know, it's a human race. And you lost." HAS to go on a t-shirt.
ReplyDeleteroflmbo.. I LOVE this wake up call every morning just perfect seriously
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gra3KgJZ5K4 Any relation?
ReplyDeleteHilarious, as always! And the audio is working for me now. Thank you so much!
ReplyDeleteI wonder why he is always so synical in these dreams -whatever the reason, it's very funny and I enjoy it!
ReplyDeleteThis site makes me happier than anything else inthe world. Thankyou for sleeptalking Adam! It brightens my day everytime without a doubt
ReplyDeleteHahahaha, puppy slippers
ReplyDelete"No puppy! Bad puppy! Make you into puppy slippers."
ReplyDeletePoor puppy lol
"You know, its a human race. And you lost."
I could see my o/h saying that.
"You're more attractive than a seeping anal gash. But only just."
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
When I'm having a bad day I come and read this blog, and it makes me feel better. Thanks guys!
ReplyDeleteI love the last one. Adam can out-bitch the most catfight-hardened queen quite literally in his sleep!
ReplyDeleteHuman Race! VERY T-shirt worthy!!!!
ReplyDeletetotally agree with the above comment. and pooooooor puppy!
ReplyDeleteMan, he's got some great material! I can't believe the stuff he comes up with!! Absolutely brilliant, and hysterical to boot!
ReplyDeleteI covered poor little Molly's ears on that first one. Slippers, indeed!
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I get a kick out of these! I don't care if there are skeptics out there who think these aren't true, Adam's sleep talking is hilarious!
ReplyDeletethe visual the last one left me won't go away. thanks a lot adam!
ReplyDeleteTank tops--you should really add cute tank tops for us girls who don't do T-shirts. :)
ReplyDelete'It's a human race. And you lost.' should be added to the store list. That's a classic.
ReplyDeleteI wish I was half as clever awake as this guy is asleep.
Did you ever see those Shakespearean insult coffee mugs? You should do that sort of thing. he's so prolific you could put out a new mug every January, covered with his most popular phrases of the previous year. Forget little web sales--every gift shop in America would want to carry them.
Oh puppy, you're done for...
ReplyDeleteI don't really care if he sleep talking or not this is pure funny. Brilliant
ReplyDeleteHysterical stuff. Really hysterical. Now comes my tiny party pooper - Having a hard time believing he does this nearly every night - Mmmmmmmmm.
ReplyDeleteLOL Puppy slippers
ReplyDeleteI get the human race
I threatened to turn my cat into mittens! Only when he's bad
ReplyDelete<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
ReplyDelete...you're only just more attractive than a seeping anal gash lost in a human race that makes you into puppy slippers...
No puppy! Bad puppy!...it t'was only a dream
...good puppy...now, dream a little dream
wuff, wuff...mea...oow!
more, more , more!
s'nore s'more
g'nite
:)
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
it is truly hard to breathe, i am laughing so hard going through all of these. what a colorful vocabulary he has!! some of the things he says in the middle of the night, i wish i could say to my boss :D
ReplyDeleteplease keep these coming!! and more audio clips? those are always a treat!! :)
Yesterday my 6-month-old mini mutt chewed up my eyeglasses and chewed a plate-sized hole right in the center of my bed quilt. Puppy slippers are sounding really good right about now. :p
ReplyDeletehis sentence structure is better than mine when I'm awake!
ReplyDeletewho cares if this is true or not? if he's sleep talking or making this #$# up as he goes? it's plain ol' funny - and we could all use a little more of that in our lives (I teach high school - believe me!) if someone manages to make a little money off it - power to them.
ReplyDeleteHAAHAH! I love the puppy slippers one!! XD
ReplyDeletehahahaha now i know what to say to my dog when he eats my shoes!
ReplyDeleteIt is a VERY good thing I'm all alone today because I just YELPED reading this bit: "You know, its a human race. And you lost."
ReplyDeleteWhat's wrong with all of the audio? : (
ReplyDeleteFor the sleep talking: OMG! LMFAO!
ReplyDeleteFor the latest Anonymous: try updating your QuickTime - that's what I had to do...
"You know, it's a human race. And you lost." HAS to go on a t-shirt!
ReplyDeleteOMGOMGOMG that's HILARIOUS! I just started following, and I almost died of laughter when I started reading these!!!
ReplyDeleteDo you have a dog?
ReplyDeleteYou must add more sound recordings!!
ReplyDeleteFunny I can't wait till I can buy a t'shirt. I'm getting the one with the pirate quote or duck one I'm not sure there all so funny. The first time I read this blog I about died laughing I couldn't stop. Don't care if this is made up or not regardless if he's saying this in his sleep Its halarious and genious lol. I do believe someone would say this off the wall stuff in there sleep for once I asked "wheres the bathroom button" in my sleep and countless times my mom has said some pretty off the wall stuff in her sleep as well.
ReplyDeletePuppy Slippers. That is the only thing that made me laugh today. THANK YOU
ReplyDeletethe best ones yet!!!!
ReplyDeleteLinked to you from my blog. Yours is badgertastic!
ReplyDeleteGotta have "human race" on a T!!!!
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh! I don't care if it's true or not true, you'd sort of have to be a comic genius to come up with things soooo random every single day (or almost).
ReplyDeleteI'm just trying to picture someone, anyone saying "seeping anal gash".... not happening.
Hilarious! Love you guys!
"You know, it's a human race. And you lost." Wetting myself as I type this. Great stuff!!
ReplyDelete"You know, it's a human race. And you lost." LMFAO!!!! I can't believe this stuff sometimes! I come here EVERY DAY just to see what he said. This is TOO funny!
ReplyDeleteYou people are wonderful. I'm glad you've turned your husband's musings into a public service.
ReplyDeleteLMAO! Only just slightly more attractive than an anal gash. That's awesome!
ReplyDeleteLOL thats so funny.I have a dog to!
ReplyDeleteYou made my day Adam
ReplyDeleteI want the Human Race one on a t-shirt, but I would love it with the first line on the front and the "and you lost" on the back...lol.
ReplyDeleteI had a boyfriend once who talked in his sleep. Instead of being funny, though, he would get philosophical:
ReplyDelete"Life is about why it happens so late, not early."
That was the only one I managed to get up and write down. The other times he talked in his sleep, I never could remember it in the morning.
hello santa
ReplyDeleteHi, I'm a girl from Sweden, I just wanted you to know that you're quite known here in Sweden as well. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd I really love to read all the rude things Adam says in his sleep!
It really makes my day. :D
Lots of love, Carol. :)
The human race one is old ... been around for years!
ReplyDeleteThis stuff is gold. Hi from Chicago!
ReplyDeleteWoah did you ask him if you could have a puppy? I'm sure that If you did there would be even more dog stuff.
ReplyDeleteRe gash: I wondered when Adam would respond directly to the Anonymous troll!
ReplyDeleteEdit: "it's a human race."
ReplyDeleteHis, hers, its;
He's, she's, it's.
Love the human race bit - SO T-shirt worthy!
ReplyDeleteAnd P.S. real or fake - it still makes me laugh. (I choose to believe it's real.)
Puppy slippers. I think Mr. Burns might help you with that one!
ReplyDeletebloghatter
ReplyDeleteWoah do a person request him or her in the event that you might have the pup? I'm certain when a person do presently there will be much more canine things.
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