or click herecome to me my penguin brothers
and penguin sisters
and dance your dark winter dance
and flap
and flap
those fin-like wings
or click here"I've waited my whole life to meet somebody like you. Now fuck off and let me get on with my life. You're a disappointment. Always a disappointment."
or click here__________
Karen's notes: I love how STM gets all poetic and then, 30 seconds later, remembers himself.
This morning, Adam spent quite a while brainstorming the antics that transpire on Veggieween. I was so sorry that I had turned the recorder off. I'll do my best to recreate some here:
"Veggieween! When the meat eaters get dressed up in animal costumes to torment vegetarians. It's a celebration of all that is good about eating meat. You go knocking door to door, with an enormous skewer, and people slide pieces of meat onto your stick. Then, everyone gets together in the park for a huge barbeque. Any vegetarian households, you tar and fur the house, and you— no, you can't throw blood at people's places, that's just too much— …fat! Yes, you drizzle fat all over their doorstep."
I just want to say here that Adam totally respects vegetarianism and loves animals (even though he sometimes eats them).
I Would love to hear some of these as my sister is a vegetarian and we like winding her up...please post more if you heard them?...thank you. from Ms H x
ReplyDeleteIs it wrong that i find the idea of Veggieween so appealing?
ReplyDeleteThe cow costume thing wouldn't work on me. I like animals. It's why I don't eat them.
ReplyDeletewow i come off really band in that final exchange. i really am not a bad person. oh the guilt! - adam
ReplyDeleteSo, are we declaring August 19 as Veggieween? I look forward to "scaring the salad" out of a Vegan or two. Let me get the skewers and I'll be ready to go!
ReplyDeleteVeggieween sounds like fun, but I'm worried something's bound to go bad if you go around carrying raw meat out in the open for two hours or so. A pity, really. Why must all the best ideas get those little kinks...?
ReplyDeleteWhy not celebrate Veggieween on December 19? That way it will be cold, and the raw meat will last longer!
ReplyDeleteAh, the Canticle of the Penguins. Book of Antarcticus, Chapter XVII, verses 8-13. Always a classic.
ReplyDeleteLooks like Aug 19 is forever going to be Veggieween...
ReplyDeleteNow, where's my cow mask?
penguin poem is the best thing i've read in a while...
ReplyDeleteand I love the british pronunciation of "dahnce" :D
Made my day as always :-)
ReplyDeleteOver the top!
ReplyDeleteMaybe if veggieween has to be in August and not December, you could eat candy made with gelatin, including circus peanuts, peeps, many gummies, most candy corn...it's a sad list because I love circus peanuts, peeps, and candy corn. At least you won't get food poisoning.
The rest of us (the vegetarians) will sit around eating lentils and awaiting the next Festivus.
Loved the penguin passage and the brilliant anon comment above.
veg...gieWeen! wee wee weeeee, all hallowed out, the meet and greet stuffed meat. Allo! watchur back, weening out the fat goods in a dripdry by candlelight.
ReplyDelete- On a cold winter day where penguins fly flappin'about-bowtuxed, here veg-go-agan this road in a swordance'
...watchyurstep, wound-up with winged cows'erving salad, masked to perfection, through the lookin'glass of a door2door wholefood life experience; in a barb;BQued to lesson the appointment to dish it out, while drizzling it for all it's worth, raw dressing in fatigues with resounding fun, yet,
in august of wind, this weeny was only a dreamy, and never the two shall meet; did one say, never the two shall meat...all middle fingered lickin' good, a sign of the times and another silly willyweenie stringbit to add to the stirring potonthis weenday of daze.
- Soups Up---hold the lettuce or was that
moremeat or less ...raise the glasses, 2uppity, that souperduper dupissssity.
?weeeeeeennnnnnotwhutugot. sidedish. service challenged. tipping ouwt. whooooshithatwasilly.
(smilemilesgoesalongwaycliquingwithleannardizing)
headshake:) (:madeul@@que =P q;
You know, August needs a holiday in the US. Veggieween would be awesome!
ReplyDeleteTrick or Meat! 7@=E
ReplyDeleteAnd the poetry....... tell you: if Adam had been around 90 years ago, he would be a shining star of the Surrealist pantheon by now, up there with Dali and Magritte and Breton.........
i am all for making Veggieween an annual tradition. and as a lover of all things Penguin....that poem is awesome!
ReplyDeleteBoth my daughters are vegetarians...
ReplyDeleteThe youngest just realized marshmallows are a 'meat' product. Boo hoo!
Now where's my cow mask?
I think STM dwells on vegetarianism so much because subconciously he knows he wouldnt eat your lovely dog Mollie so why should he eat any animals? ;)
ReplyDeleteAwesome stuff!
ReplyDeleteLove the Veggieween idea! Too funny!
How exactly is a marshmallow a meat product?? just curious.
@Snugs72 Most marshmallows are made with gelatin, which is most definitely not vegetarian! There are a few varieties made without gelatin, like Dandies by Chicago Soy Dairy, and the handmade ones by Sweet & Sara, but they are much more expensive. We splurge on them for camping trips & such :)
ReplyDeleteVeggieween is extremely appealing. hahaha - sucks to be in the northern hemisphere. August 19 is winter in the south, so no off meat for us (well, Australia is still pretty warm so...)
ReplyDeleteAhhh, barbequeing them in the park good idea! make august 19 veggieween!!!!
TC
STM is a poet!
ReplyDeletetrick or meat! trick or meat! put some meat on my stick!!!
ReplyDeleteVeggieween!!!! oh boy that's a holiday meant for me!!! I don't care for most veggies, I prefer meat and potatoes.
we need to partition the world or the U.N. to create veggieween. carnivores need to unite against the veggans of the world, what better way?
Could the "Penguin Calling" poem please be a ringtone? That's just awesome.
ReplyDeleteThose are some of the best ones yet!!!
ReplyDeleteOh! Oh! Could we have a Veggieween bonfire in the park, and throw bags of lentils on the fire?
ReplyDeleteOooh! A lovely poem! Nice presentation, Karen :)
ReplyDeleteThat last one, "you're a disappointment" is too funny! You guys should team up with someecards.com because alot of STM sayings would be perfect for an e card!
ReplyDeleteThings got real in that last one!
ReplyDeleteThe animals are returning. Get them in the Zoo - the penguins.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteamazing website