"Is it me, or has the ground gone to jelly? Fun. I can bounce... Bounce... Fun."
"So this is what it feels like to be a gummy bear... I can't walk though, I have to rock... I think i'll call myself BerNARD. Not BERnard. BerNARD. And I'll be a golden gummy bear."
"Stupid fucking fizzy fish. Never liked them. Have some of that, you sugar-coated cunts."
[suddenly grabs wife's wrist] "Stop! Stop! Whooooaaah.... Okay!" [lays back down]
Wife's note to the Americans out there: Keep in mind that Adam's final insult to those poor fizzy fish has a different feel here in the UK.
20091031
Oct 31 2009
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the fizzy-fish certainly deserve that!
ReplyDeleteThat last one sounds like something my own husband would do - yell and then lie right back down. :D
ReplyDeleteoh the gummy bear line is the best!!!
ReplyDeleteDoes "fizzy fish" have a meaning? And what is the "different feel" in the UK, if you don't mind saying?? :D
ReplyDeleteI thought his final insult was pretty much universal in feel! :)
ReplyDeleteThis is hilarious. My boyfriend talks in his sleep. Nothing this funny, but sometimes they are comparable. The best is the gummy bear and the horse barn
ReplyDeleteWell, "cunt" (sorry) is sort of different here in the UK than in the US. It is used on men, first of all, and doesn't have the same bite that it does there. Oh, I'm the wife.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the support, guys!
I think the fizzy fish are a gelatine based sweet that has a sherbet like substance on them, as well as sugar. Nothing rude, just sweets.
ReplyDeleteMore proof that your husband is an American when he's asleep -- he's insisting on the American pronunciation of BerNARD.
ReplyDeletec*#t in the US is used on men or women as an insult. Have no idea what fizzy fish is, I also thought it was a kind of candy! lol
ReplyDeleteWoo, jelly ground xD!
ReplyDeleteSadly, we do not have sugar coated cunts here in America. If we do I haven't found one.
ReplyDeleteI just had to look up 'fizzy fish'... wow, the more you know! lol great stuff!
ReplyDeleteHey, I'm from the UK, and I wouldn't say your idea of "cunt" is quite right. In my experience it is used on both men and women, but if a man ever says it in the presence of a woman, he'd better be ready to be slapped. Women here hate the word, men think its funny.
ReplyDeleteI don't like fizzy fish either
ReplyDeletec@&# has got a lot of bite here in the us don't worry, but i guess it's never used on men
ReplyDeleteHeh... I use it rather often, actually... but, then again, my household doesn't find damn near anything offensive. :P
ReplyDeletecunt means vagina and has been adapted into an insult in the same way twat or berk has, not too long ago it was the ultimate taboo word but has diminished somewhat in the last few years.
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Just discovered this site and have spent the past half hour laughing. Cunt is a grand word. I prefer to use the affectionate term of 'cunny' though!
ReplyDeleteI'm British and i'd like to say that 'Cunt' has exactly the same effect in the UK as the US but we do say it to men too, most women dont like it i however think it is the very best of swear words and use it as often as poss!! I dont understand why it is thought to be sooooo offensive when calling sum1 a cock isnt?
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ReplyDeleteI thought BerNARD was a bit like French pronunciation rather than American!
ReplyDeleteDoes your husband watch a lot of television? It's a weird question, but it might make sense considering some of the words he says!
so is "fizzy fish" like the candy Swedish fish??
ReplyDeletehttp://www.chocolatebuttons.co.uk/fizzy-fish-barnett.html
ReplyDeleteI believe this is what he was refering to.
LOVE your stuff! I HATE that women give simple four-letter words like CUNT as much power as African Americans give "the N word" ... neither entitles anyone to tantrums. Neither are worth my time to get upset about. Just don't call me fat and we're cool!
ReplyDeleteThis stuff is really funny!
ReplyDeletei talk in my sleep too and can totally relate.
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im glad its not only me that somehow makes strange sentences at night!
great blog guys :)
Huh, here in rural eastern Ohio, Bernard is pronounced more like ber-nerd, with about the same emphasis on the syllables. I thought berNARD was the European pronunciation.
ReplyDeleteCunt has the same meaning here in the US as it does over there in the UK, it's just that we are all a bunch of thin-skinned crybabies over here.
ReplyDeleteThis is a bit late, but I would LOVE a shirt with the gummy bear bit on it. I was lol-ing so hard...!
ReplyDeleteHuh, here in rural eastern Ohio, Bernard is pronounced more like ber-nerd, with about the same emphasis on the syllables. I thought berNARD was the European pronunciation.
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