Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20100115

Jan 14 2010

"If I wanted to see a long nose and a big ass, I'd look at a horse."

"Butt cheeks ahoy! There she blows!"

"You can't be a pirate if you haven't got a beard. I said so. MY boat, MY rules."

"We haven't got a plank. Just fucking jump."

"Yes I'm sad, but if you stood further away, I'd be happier. No, further away. Well, let's face it, just fucking CUNT OFF! Thank you, I appreciate it."

"Don't jump on me!"


Karen's note: I dedicate the apparent pirate theme of last night's ramblings to our good friend Nikesh Shukla-- songwriter, author, and pirate enthusiast.

AND, we were just on BBC London Radio! Skip ahead to 1:33:00.

Posted by Karen Slavick-Lennard at 06:53

147 comments:

  1. stevvi15 January 2010 at 07:00

    Did he live in the USA for a while as it's weird the language used is very un-English. Freaky!

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  2. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 07:01

    haha pirate night it is :)

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  3. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 07:02

    haha.. pirates were obviously a big part of his thoughts last night!!
    Tracey from QLD, Australia.

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  4. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 07:08

    this is seriously the funniest blog i've ever read... thank you so much for this. It really brightened up my crappy day :-D

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  5. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 07:12

    this is so AWESOME!!

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  6. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 07:29

    @Stevie: Funny, because I'm from the US & I think he sounds English & not American at all!

    This blog is hysterical.

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  7. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 07:30

    I'm amused that you can even understand him! lol My friend does the same thing and I can't understand anything.

    It's pretty funny listening to them though!

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  8. Emma15 January 2010 at 07:35

    You know ,I'm english, And I think he sounds perfectly "english-y" XD

    Although, he does sound like a bit of a prick in his dreams.

    These always bring a smile, thanks!

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  9. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 08:21

    The pain. The terrible, horrible pain from laughter.....

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  10. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 08:30

    Best. Blog. Ever.

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  11. Sigga Maya15 January 2010 at 08:36

    Better than double espresso!! Have a good day folks!

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  12. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 08:54

    I'm English and I would say 'ass' and 'butt' are very much American expressions. We would say 'aRse' and 'bum'. I guess living over there you are bound to pick their slang though.

    By the way Mrs Sleep Talkin Man, your blog was mentioned on a major UK radio station this morning so expect lots more readers!

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  13. Amelia is...15 January 2010 at 08:54

    This is such a fantastic blog. He does sound English (I am from the UK) but there do seem to be a few Americanisms slipping in here and there. I imagine these are even funnier in the lovely British accent.

    www.ameliais.blogspot.com

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  14. Unknown15 January 2010 at 08:55

    My partner once started thumping me in the chest in the middle of the night saying 'kill the vapire, kill the vampire'.... freaked me out at first. Turned out he watched a Buffy marathon before coming to be. Not impressed!

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  15. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 08:58

    Not only a major UK radio station, but also a major Australian online news site! Fabulous stuff!

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  16. Unknown15 January 2010 at 09:00

    also it was mentioned in the sun newspaper over here in the UK. love this so funny, oh I am English and I use the words butt and ass.

    http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2806514/Sleep-Talkin-Man-a-viral-hit.html

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  17. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 09:00

    Yay - more hilarity!! I was telling my daughter about your blog today and how insanely crazy and funny and addictive STM's sayings are. It reminded her of her sleeptalking friend whose husband regularly wrote down her ramblings, the most memorable of which was "Watch out - here come the elephants! Grab the watermelons!!"
    Love your blog - hopefully STM won't grow out of it any time soon :)
    Cheers, Annette in Australia

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  18. Kate15 January 2010 at 09:06

    this is the funniest SH1T I have ever read. I cannot believe this is real, yet I do. If you're going to have insomnia, at least it 's with entertainment. Can't wait for more!

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  19. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 09:12

    never in my life have i read something so funny. honey, your husband is a treasure trove!!! thank you so much for sharing, its hysterical xD. btw, an ex-boyfriend once did this, he said to me quite desperately 'We need to find the Kings underpants!!!' oh boy did i enjoy teasing him about that xD

    Christine - Michigan, USA

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  20. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 09:31

    Very funny. I'm addicted, I can't wait for more!

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  21. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 09:31

    Im a HUGE fan already and have sent the link to everyone I know. STM is a legend.

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  22. Annie15 January 2010 at 09:34

    ROTHFLMAO Is he this agro in real life :D

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  23. He Who Works Retail15 January 2010 at 09:38

    Can you please...PLEASE do videos of these? You have no idea how many millions of views they'd get on youtube. Set up a cheap standard definition camera for when he sleeps, put on some sort of sound activation and let the fun start :D

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  24. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 10:01

    My Sister saw this in the paper yesterday and said it sounded like me!! lol, I can't see how. Please please get the videos up ;p

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  25. Duel Living15 January 2010 at 10:02

    I've never heard the phrase "Cunt Off" before...but I'm stealing it.
    My husband doesn't normally talk in his sleep...he just "agrees" a lot...UM HMM UM HMM. It sounds like whomever he's talking to has some particularly great ideas. I much prefer the UM HMM's to his nightly snoring...but your man sounds so much more fun.
    Great blog...congrats on all of the new and impending fame....and I agree with the comment above...you should definately video tape!!!!

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  26. The Duke15 January 2010 at 10:02

    is he sleeping yet? lol.. this blog is fantastic!

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  27. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 10:15

    The pirate ones are solid gold. Thanks for sharing this with us. The site is catching like wildfire!

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  28. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 10:37

    Crying with laughter, seriously the funniest thing I have ever read! PURE GENIUS!

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  29. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 10:51

    This is the Best thing in my life at the minute!! i love it thank you for bringing a smile to my face and getting me out of bed in the morning!!

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  30. Clemma15 January 2010 at 11:12

    This is brilliant! Heard about it in the UK paper The Sun yesterday and had to have a look. Me and the other half were in stitches!!!

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  31. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 11:13

    Love this blog........Comedy Genius....

    I once talked in my sleep about chasing the childs cartoon character 'Dora The Explorer' and then went on some random description of her....apparatently, my partner then asked me to repeat what I said....and I did, word-for-word.

    I then woke to find her sitting up in bed in fits of uncontrollable laughter!

    She has nicknamed me 'Dora' ever since!

    Keep up the good work, this is priceless stuff!

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  32. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 11:47

    Love it. Got a mention on my Breakfast show (community radio in Sunderland, Spark FM)

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  33. Marti7715 January 2010 at 11:48

    I too am a new follower and these are absolutely CLASSIC! I LOVE THEM...never stop posting them! Your eyes are fat....LOLOLOLOLOL

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  34. Grace Latter15 January 2010 at 11:51

    I LOVE THESE. Sometimes I just read and think, "I wish I could SEE this guy's dreams!"
    I started following this blog about a week ago, and last night it was mentioned on BBC Radio 2! Amazing stuff :) Keep talking! x

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  35. Steve15 January 2010 at 12:06

    You got a good write up in the London Evening Standard last night - it was the best story they have published in years!

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  36. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 12:18

    LOL... really brightened up my day.. I remember my brother once yelled while sleeping that he shouldn't be disturbed because he's saving the world and then he threw his shoe across the room... Keep up the good work :D Greetings from Estonia!

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  37. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 12:19

    GENIOUSNESS!!!!
    I have been known to walk and talk in my sleep, but what I say is all mumblings or if I say something clear, it is in an unknown language... But this is pure gold!!!
    I was wondering.... I would say it is to personal to put in recordings of him in his sleep here, but jusst to be able to put a voice to the phrases, can you get your husband to record a greeting or something and post it on here.... I would love to be able to hear his voice, think it might even add to the comedy :)
    Keep up the good work!

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  38. Danielle15 January 2010 at 12:25

    LOVE this blog! I can't wait to get on the laptop after doing the school run and read what STM has been saying in the night! It really cheers me up!

    My husband once cried whilst sleeping (he'll love me for sharing) so once I woke him up and reassured him that everything was ok he told me that the reason he was crying was because Superman had died (this was before Christopher Reeve had died)! Hilarious!

    His dreams are even funnier....he once dreamt that he was getting married to the Statue of Liberty and all the wedding guests were Yorkshire Puddings!!! Hahaha

    Anyway, looking forward to more sleep talkin!! x

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  39. David15 January 2010 at 12:34

    There doesn't seem to be an RSS feed for this? I demand an RSS feed! ... Please

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  40. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 12:38

    Absolutely Pure Genius.........Love It...........Never Laughed So Much In My Life................

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  41. Daniel15 January 2010 at 12:47

    David, feed is here: http://sleeptalkinman.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default

    Not sure why there's not a link to it though. :-/

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  42. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 12:48

    Thanks for the laughs every morning! Love this Blog!
    JCP from Baltimore, MD

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  43. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 13:29

    i found this blog through a german web-tv-show and this totally made my day, big thanks karen & adam.
    today morning i woke up and yelled "pasta cake* ?!" and then burst into laughter the very next moment, because i had to think of this blog!

    *which was the favourite flavour of praliné of a person in my dream!!

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  44. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 13:37

    cool idea!

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  45. Laura W15 January 2010 at 14:05

    This blog is bloody brilliant. I'd be intrigued to meet your husband, both awake and asleep (if that doesn't sound a bit wrong!)

    His imagination must be absolutely brilliant.

    Keep it coming!

    And I totally agree with a commenter on another post, those who don't like it or don't believe it don't have to read it. I love it and will continue to!

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  46. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 14:27

    As hilarious as this all is, it would be much more believable if it were recorded on video camera. My husband thinks this is all done to make money!! I still find it funny, even if it isn't real. :)

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  47. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 14:39

    ive jst listened to it on the radio!!
    hehe!

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  48. Brides15 January 2010 at 14:46

    I love waking up to this. Please keep doing it, I piss myself laughing reading this blog all the time.

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  49. Chris Stone15 January 2010 at 15:20

    lol. funny blog!

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  50. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 15:24

    I now have all my colleagues addicted to this blog and all my friends. I have a link on facebook too. I sign in daily for updates and get so disappointed if he has a 'quiet night'. Keep feeding him cheese and coffee for restless nights and massive blogs. lol

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  51. Unknown15 January 2010 at 15:27

    My partner and I have loved finding this blog, the sad thing is we talk like this when we are awake! Good luck for your t-shirt business and all!

    Keep dreaming the dream and typing the type!

    Cathi x

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  52. Laura15 January 2010 at 15:32

    "We haven't got a plank. Just fucking jump." Seriously awesome quote. I love pirate stuff (old-school, not the jerks they call "pirates" these days).....
    By the way, in addition to posting you on my Facebook account, and my website, I let the Toronto (Canada) radio station 102.1 The Edge know about you. This is just too awesome to keep to myself!

    Hey people stop bugging them to post video/audio..... would YOU want the world to see you sleeping and muttering things in your subconscious? Seriously. Use your imagination, that's part of what makes it so funny! :D

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  53. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 15:36

    Just curious, and maybe this is a question asked and anwered before, but have you ever shown a psychiatrist these comments? Might be interesting to hear what a professional has to say!! Also might be interesting to take note of food eaten on each day. See if there's a link between diet and dream content!!

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  54. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 15:44

    Dont listen to the odd fool being mean - this is a hilarious blog, keep it up LOL.

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  55. The Toad15 January 2010 at 15:45

    I think your blog is very funny, and the shirts a good idea. I have a gift blog, and I decided to feature both Sleeptalkin' Man and the shirt today. Check it out: http://www.findatoad.com/. And good luck with everything.

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  56. Alasse15 January 2010 at 15:49

    And it just keeps getting better...
    Keep it up guys!

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  57. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 16:16

    I check your site every morning now, just to see what craziness Adam said the night before! It's the perfect way to start my day!

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  58. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 16:18

    This blog is fantastic! Most people talk in their sleep (I myself apparantly said "stop asking me if I want water! I don't want anything to drink!" just last week), but I've never heard of any one who says so much and doesn't even remember a thing! This blog is a my new favorite! Hope Adam never stops sleep talkin!

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  59. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 16:22

    Hello,

    I think this blog is funny but i dont think it is real. If this is true your hubby is swearing and pissed off every night. He's also insulting people in his dream. And that almost every night. Thats a bit strange ;) he has smart ass comments every night haha c'mon.
    Anyway i still love it doesnt matter if its real or not.
    Greetings from Holland!

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  60. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 16:34

    I love your blog! And thanks for the american translations! Still looking for fizzy fish! ;)

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  61. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 16:41

    this is absolutely hillarious... and damn good medicine for a bad day.

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  62. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 16:53

    we are also featuring you on vibe fm on the costa blanca, on the vibe drive show, but we have to be careful which ones we read out, www.vibespain.com
    havent laughed that much in ages, many thanks..Richie sparks

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  63. Robin15 January 2010 at 17:08

    OMG! My hubby needs a shirt with that plank quote - please?

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  64. fast.fred15 January 2010 at 17:14

    i would also buy a t-shirt with the "we haven't got a plank..." love y'all, for real!

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  65. A.T. Post15 January 2010 at 17:17

    Rather brilliant the way your hubby can think up such excellent put-downs IN HIS SLEEP...

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  66. Becca Seitz, LAc15 January 2010 at 17:23

    Oh how Portland, Oregon would LOVE the quote about beards being a must!

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  67. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 17:47

    I totally love this blog!! It was very nice listening to you guys on the radio! I wish my boyfriend was a STM!! I'm learning a lot of slang too! Greetings from Spain, A.H.

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  68. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 17:50

    My husband is exactly the same... last night he wrote his own song and sung very loudly saying.... washy washy... issy isssy... I am f****g star

    Followed up by.... get away from me, you are uglier than the worst halloween card!

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  69. Sincerely Yours15 January 2010 at 17:56

    he's right. you can't be a pirate without a beard. a clean-shaven seafaring thief is technically just a buccaneer.

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  70. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 18:05

    This is dynamite stuff. Uncontrollably laughing at my desk... I think I've frightened half the office. Everyone's now looking at me as though I need psychiatic help. Cheers. Keep it up.

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  71. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 18:27

    My husband thinks that it is made up, said it's all over the top and not that funny.......I would have to disagree it is funny but could be made up, you should post a video of him!!!!

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  72. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 18:35

    this site has become a daily hit for me, and it's grown ridiculously fast amongst my friends. The quotes are all so surreal, but ludicrously well formulated, with a comic metre that just puts you an the floor every time. It's like the Mighty Boosh on acid...
    Thank you

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  73. Trey15 January 2010 at 18:36

    Going viral as a text blog, great work! You've really got to figure out the best way to do video. That will really blow this whole thing out of proportion (hello, talk shows)!

    Best of luck with everything!

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  74. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 18:40

    I don't care if it is made up, nor do I require a video, if you've got any sort of imagination it is funny.

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  75. Agie15 January 2010 at 18:54

    Hilarious.....I love original stuff, or at least stuff that's new and stimulating to ME.....you are too funny. I love it. Please keep blogging!

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  76. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 18:57

    If no one has mentioned this before, there are a couple of CD's of another somniloquist - Dion McGregor. The CD's I am familiar with are: "Dion McGregor Dreams Again" and "Dion McGregor - The Further Somniloquies Of." Surreal funny stuff. If you do record your spouse's somniloquies I hope you'll consider making them available for sampling!

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    Replies
    1. Unknown4 January 2015 at 18:02

      Thanks for mentioning! My Torpor Vigil label recently released another compilation of McGregor's somniloquies called Dreaming Like Mad with Dion McGregor:
      https://dionmcgregor.bandcamp.com/releases
      Steve Venright

      Delete
  77. Medisoft15 January 2010 at 18:57

    I've tried for years to get my wife to remember things I say at night. I talk in my sleep a LOT as well.

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  78. laura15 January 2010 at 19:04

    haha this blog is hilarious :)

    please anyone check out my blog

    www.lauraelmes.blogspot.com

    just random funny stories from my life. :)

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  79. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 19:16

    Ha ha... check you out. Managed to miss my point completely and resorts to name calling. Well done.

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  80. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 20:25

    Read about you in yesterday's Evening Standard - funniest stuff I've ever seen, and you have restored my faith in the internet! Oh, and I say "C*nt off" too... Am hooked! xx

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  81. L.T.F.C15 January 2010 at 21:14

    Absolutely pissed myself laughing reading the blog last night,quality stuff.

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  82. raveydv15 January 2010 at 21:18

    Can't help thinking that either your husband actually hates you, or he's pulling your leg, or there is another 3rd explanation.. it's both of the above!

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  83. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 21:34

    WE WANT VIDEO!!! Or at least audio!! PLEEEEEASE!!!! I love this blog, it kills me everyday!! baaaahahahahahaha!!

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  84. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 22:08

    can I marry him? I need a laugh! Love your husband. He rocks! Kind of wish mine did that!! x

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  85. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 22:13

    I dont care..real or not.. but I think it is...it made me laugh out loud and thats an excellent thing to do! x

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  86. Sheri B.15 January 2010 at 22:37

    I totally know what you are going through. My boyfriend talks in his sleep all the time. I wish I would have thought to write about him instead of my blogging ventures... anyway, I will keep reading to find out more. HE is halarious!

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  87. DV on TV15 January 2010 at 22:51

    You were featured in the AROUND THE WEB segment on the WGN Chicago morning News show today!

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  88. Jenni15 January 2010 at 23:27

    This blog Makes me soo happy!! Love checking it each day to see what wacky thing he'll say next! Please Please Please keep it up!!! Thank you so much! Jenn, Florida

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  89. Anonymous15 January 2010 at 23:50

    Love it love it love it!!!

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  90. Karen Slavick-Lennard15 January 2010 at 23:51

    Jenni, this is karen (you know who!). Thank you so much for your lovely words. In fact, everyone, a great big thank you. It has been a crazy couple of days and the thing that keeps Adam and I going is the knowledge that Adam's midnight musings seems to bring so many people such hilarity.

    Thank you so much for all of your support and kind words.

    Karen

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  91. mommaD15 January 2010 at 23:51

    i really enjoy following these, definitely puts a bright spot in my day. looking forward to ordering a couple shirts i have my eye on. i think you've started a new trend!

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  92. Anonymous16 January 2010 at 00:02

    thank you! thank you! thank you! Absolutley outstanding.

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  93. Anonymous16 January 2010 at 01:03

    hahahahahaha brilliant! keep it up!

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  94. Anonymous16 January 2010 at 01:08

    It's absolutely hilarious and precious :) I will follow! Just so You know, You are already in Poland, Spain, Brazil,Canada...that's from what I know and I make sure You get further :D

    Not many people get to become famous sleeping... Good job :)

    Best from Oxford!

    Magda

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  95. The one who eats bunnies16 January 2010 at 01:08

    I don't care if it is real or not, it's brilliant. I can't get myself to stop laughing

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  96. Nate16 January 2010 at 01:54

    OMG this stuff is BRILLIANT! Posted to facebook so others can enjoy. Keep it up.

    If you need some help Shipping your shirts please check out

    http://www.shipwire.com

    Product Fulfillment UK, USA, Canada

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  97. dime16 January 2010 at 02:04

    funniest blog I have read in while!! i needed this....

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  98. Anonymous16 January 2010 at 02:39

    I've been in tears laughing from these amazingly random & insanely funny little nuggets, thank you so much for sharing!
    I have my own occasional sleep-talkin' little man, he's four, and often very hostile in his sleep as well, but without the extensive profane vocabulary thank God!
    I think I'll start a personal diary of his best, and worst, sleep talking just to share with him as he grows up!
    Awesome!! Keep it up!
    Sher

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  99. Anonymous16 January 2010 at 02:57

    Hahah! *breathes* I love these and I even woke my husband up this a.m. when I was reading because I was laughing so hard (office is downstairs from the bedroom). He joined me in reading and we laughed so hard we disturbed both the cats (they glared and then ran away). The husband mumbles a bit in his sleep sometimes and I once caught him chuckling but nothing as amusing as this!

    My fav so far is the kitten one...we've been repeating "I can't control the kittens. Too many whiskers! Too many whiskers!"throughout the day. :D

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  100. MaddyGrace16 January 2010 at 03:07

    ahaha.. is he funny in waking life? Or deadpan?

    Also... read my blog http://maddymad-hatter.blogspot.com/

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  101. Anonymous16 January 2010 at 03:23

    SO cool to hear your voices! Now I have a better idea of what he sounds like! Awesome stuff! :]

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  102. JuniorG16 January 2010 at 03:30

    this is too funny! one time my cousin said "disoriented chickens are out there" in his sleep.
    http://blabbershack.blogspot.com/

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  103. Anonymous16 January 2010 at 04:28

    I'm hooked and I check this out every day now. Just heard you on the BBC breakfast radio show and I am just curious where Karen is from. I would guess the northeast or to narrow it down, New England?

    Mike from Boston's North Shore

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  104. baobao16 January 2010 at 04:40

    this is the funniest thing ive ever seen!(:
    AWEEEEEEEEEEEEEESOME!

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  105. Anonymous16 January 2010 at 05:03

    u have made me piss myself, this has to be the funniest stuff i have ever heard

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  106. Unknown16 January 2010 at 05:06

    ha, i love this. wonderful idea for a site.. reminds me of the time my ex called me and woke me up and i told her "The horses are eating that mans bagels. Meet me in the plaza" i have no idea what i was dreaming about but i had to have been awesome.

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  107. Anonymous16 January 2010 at 05:13

    thank you for brightening my day! i hate that people are questioning the authenticity of this, but of course with any sort of success, there will be haters. keep it up, its hilarious!

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  108. Alice16 January 2010 at 05:30

    Haha! This is hilarious. I have a sleep talker at home as well, never thought of providing the world with an insight.

    Awesome Blog, keep it up!

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  109. Anonymous16 January 2010 at 06:29

    OMG! My friend just sent me this link about a half an hour ago and my body hurts from laughing so hard! Please keep this blog up!

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  110. Dreamweaver16 January 2010 at 11:41

    My ship...my rules...what a classic!! Who needs Jack Sparrow when u got Sleeptalking Man? LOL

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  111. D.16 January 2010 at 14:04

    The "My ship, MY rules" quote and "We haven't got a plank" quote _have_ to make it as t-shirts. I'd love to skipper my boat with those shirts on.

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  112. Gordon Bleu16 January 2010 at 21:49

    Best Blog 2010 period.

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  113. Nightingale18 January 2010 at 00:45

    Hahahaha!!! "My boat, my rules". I wonder if there was a "no girl's allowed" sign on board as well.

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  114. Freakish Lemon18 January 2010 at 03:29

    Congrats on the radio spot guys? Awesome.

    Also, "butt cheeks ahoy" is one of the most hilarious things I've ever seen. XD

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  115. Anonymous19 January 2010 at 18:43

    Thank you! THANK YOU! Thank you! This made me laugh so hard and I laugh all the time! I laughed so hard I had to double over and hold my stomach (I am just getting over a stomach virus and I am still kinda ouchy)...but I DON'T CARE! This is worth the pain of stomach cramps! So funny, I forwarded it to lots of people. You guys are AWE-SOME :) So awesome, I can barely deal with it ;)

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  116. Steve - St. Louis, MO USA19 January 2010 at 22:03

    I Love this - makes me laugh each day. Make sure life stays calm so that he will give us more at night.
    Sounds just like my friend Lee on his boat "....my boat, my rules".

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  117. Brenda22 January 2010 at 16:01

    OMG this is sooooooooooooooo funny! I've been laughing so hard tears were squirting out of my eyes!
    We are building a 35' sailboat in our back yard so I am definately buying my hubby the "my boat my rules" t-shirt! And please, please, please add: "We haven't got a plank. Just fucking jump." to your t-shirt list and I will buy that one too!

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  118. Clayne22 January 2010 at 18:25

    Pirates rule!

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  119. Anonymous22 January 2010 at 20:58

    Couldn't stop laughing about the plank. Haven't laughed that hard in ages. Bought tee shirts for my brothers for birthdays and penguin vampires... for my son. Thank you for sharing

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  120. Anonymous23 January 2010 at 00:35

    I think "Butt cheeks ahoy!" is about to become the new battle cry for gay men everywhere XD

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  121. Anonymous25 January 2010 at 09:40

    Awesome! You are the funniest!

    ReplyDelete
  122. Alan Snider25 January 2010 at 19:41

    "We haven't got a plank. Just jump" is my #1 favorite.

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  123. Anonymous27 January 2010 at 22:29

    Absolutely side splitting! I hate everyone I work with. May I use a few of these?

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  124. Anonymous29 January 2010 at 16:23

    Please! Please! Please! Make this one a t-shirt?? "We haven't got a plank. Just fucking jump." That is hysterical. I laugh every time I think about it. I saw lentels in the store the other day and found myself laughing out loud. So, so, so funny. :-) Thank you!

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  126. Oxy22 August 2010 at 19:32

    Fake or not!!!! They are funny!!!! They are a little different than the balloon guy. Comparing the two is like comparing a badger to an elephant with a thong.

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  127. Anonymous23 January 2011 at 14:40

    you know what stm karen,, i think it is - a lot of the time- made up and he is awake during the recordings, but even if it is fake, ITS STILL FUNNY

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    KEEP IT UP

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    fakerz

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