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Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20100213

Feb 13 2010

"Oh, don't worry, dear. The spot doesn't make you ugly. No no no. The rest of your face, now THAT makes you ugly. The spot's just a highlight."

__________

Karen's note: Here in the UK, spot = zit.

52 comments:

  1. ouch - thats awesome Adam..... u crack me up :D keep up the great work Karen i love to check what Adam has said next!!
    lots of love from qld australia
    xox

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  2. That's a great way to start the day!

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  3. Wow...

    Does this kind of stuff effect you Karen?

    Even knowing its all purely nonsense brain sparks coming up with this stuff, that would still bug me some.

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  4. BOL!!! Brilliant put-down!

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  5. BAM.

    50 points.


    God damn STM cracks me up, cutting straight to the bone.



    Win.

    NSW Australia

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  6. Awesome, STM is now officially my #1 provider of Facebook statuses

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  7. OMG... having a very early, and busy morning. Trying to get stuff packed for my move in spring, while making room in my cluttered apartment for the arrival of a mattress and box spring later today. I was trying to go through some stuff to give away, realized it was taking longer than expected, and starting to panic.

    Stopped to get some breakfast, and STM had me grinning from ear to ear. Just the laugh I needed before heading back into the mess I'm in the middle of.

    Adam/Karen... thanks again, for coming up with the idea for the webpage, and being such good sports about everything.

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  8. So good. One of my best friends and I trade insults now using STM quotes. This one is the BEST!

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  9. DreamKaren must have done something to irk SleepAdam last night. Love the blog, I think if Adam ever ceased talking in his sleep, a gloom the magnitude of a massive famine would occur. So keep sleeping, Adam.... keep sleeping.

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  10. if he is sleeping...and saying that...if you kill him, he wont know it as much as he would awake......

    say you were the victim of verbal abuse


    :P all in jokes


    http://marleesmovements.blogspot.com/

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  11. *snort* if I had been drinking tea I would now be cleaning my screen. So funny.

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  12. Where was STM when I was in school, and needed insult back-ups?

    Love it!!

    GGS
    India

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  13. How do you not take these comments, funny as they are, personally?

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  14. Iiiiiiiiiiits...
    StupidFuckingCuntyBollocksExpialidocious!
    Though the zombie guinea pigs can sometimes be ferocious,
    When there's badger tick-l-ing you also should be cautious,
    StupidFuckingCuntyBollocksExpialidocious!

    Um diddle iddle iddle um diddle ay,
    Um diddle iddle iddle um diddle ay,

    At first I was afraid to speak when I would go to bed.
    Me wife would give me nose a tweak and laugh at what I said.
    Then one day she made a blog to post these words of mine,
    And now I am a superstar: the biggest hit online - OH...

    StupidFuckingCuntyBollocksExpialidocious!
    Though the zombie guinea pigs can sometimes be ferocious,
    When there's badger tick-l-ing you also should be cautious,
    StupidFuckingCuntyBollocksExpialidocious!

    Um diddle iddle iddle um diddle ay,
    Um diddle iddle iddle um diddle ay,

    My site is viewed around the world and everyone who's read
    Has had a good ol' laugh at all the stupid things I've said.
    When deedoos and gajumbas want to skip to work with me,
    I call them BADGERTASTIC and they ask me out to tea! Oh...

    StupidFuckingCuntyBollocksExpialidocious!
    Though the zombie guinea pigs can sometimes be ferocious,
    When there's badger tick-l-ing you also should be cautious,
    StupidFuckingCuntyBollocksExpialidocious!

    Um diddle iddle iddle um diddle ay,
    Um diddle iddle iddle um diddle ay,

    Karen: Of course you could say it backwards, which is docious-ali-expibollocks-cuntyfuckingstupid, but that's going a bit far, don't you think?
    Adam: Indubitably!

    So if you are a gummi bear there's no need for dismay!
    Just call yourself BerNARD and then it all will be okay!
    But better read it carefully, you'll laugh until it hurts -
    And by the way... (Yeeees?)
    While you're here we wondered, if you'd like to buy some shirts?
    (Very reasonably priced too!) They're....

    StupidFuckingCuntyBollocksExpialidocious!
    StupidFuckingCuntyBollocksExpialidocious!
    StupidFuckingCuntyBollocksExpialidocious!
    StupidFuckingCuntyBollocksExpialidocious!

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  15. @ Stuart - That is absolutely brilliant! Almost had me laughing as much as this blog!

    To Karen & Adam - keep on making the whole world laugh with STM's hilarious wit(?).

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  16. oh thats is hilarious!!

    and props to Stuart! that is bloody brilliant!

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  17. Oh Stuart! Awesome! And I though Adam had made my day with the face spot comment! Love it!

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  18. lol. love this site. congrats Karen and Adam. you guys give some really good laughs.. have a good sleep Adam. love your stuff..
    Regards from Wyndham . WA. {Australia.}

    @ Stuart - i agree with what Kym said man brilliant.. lol well put together

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  19. @Stuart - that is absofuckinlutely awesome! WTG!!!

    @STM Holy shit! That is tooooooooo funny!

    @Karen - Hi! *waves* (didn't want to leave you out lol)

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  20. @ Stuart, OK, that was sooo funny! You gotta make a youtube video of it. :D

    I so wish I could come up with such witty things to say. You're so funny STM.

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  21. @Karen: You're not the actual Karen are you?

    ¬¬

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  22. STM's Adam's Karen has S-L or something like that after her name...

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  23. No, that particular Karen was not me.

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  24. To answer a variety of such questions: I am totally not offended if Adam says something like this. I know that Adam adores me and finds me beautiful, so I can only assume he is talking to some other poor girl.

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  25. One blog, so much genius....

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  26. I'm honestly not sure which I laughed harder at...STM's quote of the day or what Stuart came up with. Both were absolutely BRILLIANT!! Thank you for brightening my groggy morning!

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  27. Crazy day ahead, but as usual you all help me start it laughing! Can't thank you enough for putting this out there.

    @Stuart...OMG!!! You get extra credit points for adding to the hilarity!

    Thanks all,
    Kittie, Winter Park, FL

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  28. Another brilliant nights work by Adam. Didn't completely lose it until reading Stuarts post. Thanks so much for the enjoyment each day.

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  29. Thanks all.

    @Anon - I sort of hoped that Karen and Adam would make a youtube video of it!

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  30. Stuart! All hail to Stuart! What a laugh. Especially finishing with:

    "While you're here we wondered, if you'd like to buy some shirts?
    (Very reasonably priced too!) They're...."

    L-O-L!!

    And... to the anti-make-some-money-while-having-a-ball folks - just pretend he never said it. :)

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  31. LOL! THAT'S GOTTA BE THE FUNNIEST YET
    HAHAHAHA

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  32. Great Job Stuart. That was awesome!

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  33. i too love how the start of something private emerges into something personally shared into something of a grand potential to off the wall perfectly seasoned with viewers blending into pieces of artwork for the brain, with a passion and specks of pessimisms along the way, all pitched in harmony, poor Adam-sleeper, no... theres no pity party here, you've put us in our places, pies in our faces and oh so pi...

    seconds on Stuarts' video, too...

    "" Oh, don't worry, dear. The spot doesn't make you ugly in the least. No no no. The rest of your face, now THAT makes you a hit to an dreamtalkin' uglysick humor of comedy to the masses.
    The spot's only just a highlight on a youtube segment seen around the globe... "" ;)

    don't stop, we can't get enough twists & turns in a plethora of neverending - - - - - -

    " Adamismzzz " ...sleep tight on it...while
    " adamsleeps! " ...are still peepin' and tweetin'about
    &:~}

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  34. Stuart, you absolutely rock!!

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  35. I have been waiting for the right moment to post a comment about how much I love your blog and today is IT!! It takes a lot to make me laugh out LOUD when I am by myself and you did it today! Awesome!! Thank -you STM/Adam for making my day, not only today but for the last month or so!

    Sleep well and PLEASE keep talking!

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  36. @ Stuart - I will add my kudos to the chorus--Well done!! Mary Poppins would be truly horrified!! Awesome!

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  37. @Stuart, there is only one solution. Animation.

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  38. Oh my GOODNESS!!!! Karen and Adam Looks like you have a Site song!!! Way to go Stuart!!!!! Too Funny . Now we have to record this!!!! Fantastic is all I have to say

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  39. Claire here:

    Great reading today, thanks everyone. Today's quote is going to look great on a card. I wonder if un-english people realise that a 'spot' is a ZIT?

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  40. Damn, I'm getting too used to these Britishisms, and forget to include notes about them. I'll go add that now.

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  41. JulieBlueeyes: Is Julie Andrews available?

    STM: I watched the ABC news report on STM and it featured the quote: 'Elephants in thongs, not something you see everyday, enjoy it!' I don't recall seeing this quote in the blog: Are you holding out on us?

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  42. VonMalcolm: It's in the honeymoon store. (for those who don't know what I mean, we started holding some back a few weeks ago so that we could have pre-scheduled posts go up while we're away on honeymoon.) So, you will see that one, and a bunch of others that we've been putting aside.

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  43. Oops, I ruined the surprise! You can remove my comment if you wish!

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  44. Stuart! Dude! Abso-fucking-lutely BRILLIANT!!!

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  45. I just noticed where you're actually going on your honeymoon. I'd like to officially request a youtube video of Adam looking sternly at an actual elephant and informing it that its trunk should be used for elephant things only - NOTHING ELSE!

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  46. Yeah, good to have the translations! When people said they thought STM was talking to a dream Karen I thought "hm, never struck me that way.."

    And then I thought "and anyway, unless she has a noticeable birthmark on her face it wouldn't even fit." I didn't realize this was a "temporary" spot!

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  47. Adam- thank you for another brilliant insult to use at a later date. I'm sure it will come in handy.

    Karen- so many of us are soooo glad you are posting all of these.

    Stuart- that is exceptionally hilarious. Mind you I was singing along with it in my head. One word- Beautiful!

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  48. I'm from England i don't call a spot a zit i just call it a spot just like all the English people
    from jasmine

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  49. When do you leave for your honeymoon, and when do you get back? By they, I laugh so hard I cry my eyes out:). You guys rock!

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  50. Thank you for making me want to turn on my computer every day! This one is brilliant!!!

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  51. this is sooooooo mean. i'm loving it!

    ~Kat

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  52. Uhh, this one´s a bit risky to say. But extremely funny for the rest of us, haha :D

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