Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20100204

Feb 4 2010

"Squid wrestling: all tentacles and no substance."

[scratching chest] "Itchies. Itchy itchies. They're crawling everywhere, those itchies. SMACK 'EM!"

 or click here
__________

Karen's note: I just had to add the audio for this. I love the way he said, "Smack 'em!"

69 comments:

  1. OH dear, I have cheated - coming over here BEFORE going to bed!!!! Love the squid - t'is true - lacking substance!!! Can we fix that and have calamari rings??

    ReplyDelete
  2. Cindy/from Florida4 February 2010 08:26

    Wow, I held a straight face until he said, "Smack-Em" then I cracked up laughing!! This is good stuff for certain!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. hola... como estas?

    ReplyDelete
  4. you should probably check him for bed bugs!!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I´m sure this is all just one big hoax to make money. You put all those t-shirts and mugs way too fast here. I belived in this in the beginning but not anymore. Sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Siobhan from Australia4 February 2010 10:26

    Karen and Adam, I love you guys! you have me laughing every night before I go to bed. thank you so much for letting us into your lives and making us smile.
    As for those who can only whinge and complain in the comments (anonymously too!) - give it a rest. the site was here long before the merchandise and even if it is some sort of hoax (which I dont believe) who cares!?!?! they are not charging you to log on and read Adam's hilarious sleep comments. keep the negatvity to yourself and allow the rest of us to laugh and enjoy freely.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Siobhan is right about that: the blog was up for my family and friends to enjoy for weeks before it was ever discovered by the masses.

    Also, it kind of pains me to think that anyone would believe we actually sit around recording fake audio to fool everyone. That would be really sleazy.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Prof. ZzzMAN-ylizer4 February 2010 11:18

    i wait with baited breath to open this link first before others or not...and of course i usually do...thinking there can't be more to top it...Karen...say it isn't so...and only a bad dream...

    yet each time ( without pressure ;) for No One tells Sleep-Adam what to do when, or where...His boat, His Rules )

    the ingenius insightfullness emerges, all swimmingly in his mindplay, turning us on our heels, yes, head over heels...

    - wrestling - tentacles - no substance -

    tentacles at play...hmmm...there is no substance to squid wrestling...nobody wins in this match unless they get locked into a hand jive to a fishy song and dance or worse yet, getting caught in a tangled web-ring of an argument where everyone else joins in, in a body slam-of-the-tale-of-the-century going nowhere FAST...now that's a party by he sea!

    ( i'm only guessing that's what sleeping Adam was trying to convey, but then again, who am i, chopped liver...er...make that squid with a touchasalt on the side ... that was surely delicious except for that one bad apple of a sqibbling baby squid who really wanted to make his mark into this world, favorite color! well you guessed it, BLUE eggishly, huge'n on my face and told me what he thought of eating his precious'..now i'm marked for life...bad adam of the squidly kind! Far fetched, but TRUE? hmmm.


    I'm scratching my head on this one, too itchy to believe it and stopped smackin' myself silly waking myself up this early in the morning thinking i was itching to believe i was blue faced telling such a bold lie...what a dream it was last night...

    Rise'n shining now...a sunny day to come, roaring and ready for a breakfast to go, fishin' for a sunnyside UP with a bita yellow, make that Hello!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Your blog is hilarious,even though I don't get everything,I wish there was a blog like yours in french!
    Thank you

    ReplyDelete
  10. tomas from chile4 February 2010 12:12

    SMACK'EM CAPTAIN !!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'm soooo excited - I just got my STM t-shirt. I plan to wear it to work tomorrow! You bewdy!
    ...Helen, from Tasmania, Australia

    ReplyDelete
  12. Yay, Helen! So, you're happy with the quality and everything?

    ReplyDelete
  13. I don't think anyone who is conscious could possibly come up with the stuff Adam does in his sleep - I totally believe you!

    And thanks for posting.... I will laughing about squid wrestling all day!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Incredible stuff. This may be the best site on the web right now. And to all the haters, if you think it's fake, why bother to check it out at all? And please have the spine to post your name with a comment; posting anonymously just reeks of trolldom.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Prof. ZzzMAN-ylizer4 February 2010 12:53

    Drawn to the site again and noticed Julie's dilemma above and thought if this is ok with Adam and Karen that since you have captivated a truly WORLDWIDE AUDIENCE ... that this site below will help to translate...
    - not 2B left out in the crowd - out 2 sea -

    - it's really kinda neat-o0h-strange to see your text in other languages...i can only imagine that the change means the same as tomato is to tomatoe and potato is too potatoe, that color means colour 2 and even the COLOURFUL PARTS included - - -
    the you know what's means you know who - whose - whoo whoo whoo...
    ( as Ellen Degeneres may say ;)
    WHO KNOWS!...just stop itchin'...distracting...

    ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

    http://babelfish.yahoo.com/

    zzzzZZZZZZZZZzzzzZZzZzZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz

    ReplyDelete
  16. Thanks Karen&Adam for your funny blog
    and many thanks for the audio too
    ...going to sleep laughing...
    far away in very hot summer night down under
    sending peace and love xo

    ReplyDelete
  17. To all those who think this is blog is fake to make money: of all of the get rich quick schemes I could come up with (and I've come up with many!) the last one on my list would be pretending my significant other talks in his/her sleep, posting these made up phrases in a blog, then expecting that this fake blog would somehow explode above all of the other countless blogs on the internet so that I could make my fortune selling the aforementioned phrases on t-shirts and mugs!

    If this blog is fake to make a buck, Karen and Adam are 100x as smart as the rest of us!

    "Squid wrestling.: All tentacles no substance." Unreal! (but not fake, hopefully.)

    ReplyDelete
  18. this is the best part of my day...so far

    ReplyDelete
  19. Adam's bang on the money re: squid wrestling.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I don't know.... I find squids pretty substantive.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Thank you for making my day more fun... tentacles.

    ReplyDelete
  22. part of my day now... see what he has said... Love it so funny 9and make very good facebook updates too haha x

    ReplyDelete
  23. I don't think I've ever come across something so fantastically hilarious

    You just made my day :D

    ReplyDelete
  24. Thanks again everyone for all of the lovely comments. You can't imagine how happy it makes me and Adam every single day!

    ps- there is a fascinating debate going on on the Facebook fan page concerning whether a squid or an octopus would win in a wrestling match.

    Having seen the cinema masterpiece "Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus," I know the octopus to be a total ass-kicker.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Pleeease keep posting these audio clips with your blog entries. It is so funny to hear the pacing and tone (and sometimes pitch!) of the sleep blather! Oh, and the accent! I think it may be because I'm Canadian, and a majority of the Brit accents I'm exposed to are in the handful of British comedy shows I watch on the regular, so I sort of unintentionally associate a British accent with humor I suppose; that mixed with the fact that what your husband spits out in his sleep is completely tear-jerkingly hilarious makes the audio clips pure gold in my books.

    So please! More!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Karen- this is my go to site every morning when I get up but can't do it with coffee in my mouth!
    LOVED Adam's whacked Mary Poppins!

    Was just looking for the Facebook fan page though and couldn't find the debate. Which fan page is it?

    ReplyDelete
  27. I absolutely love this blog and its the highlight of my day! Thanks so much for taking the time to do this. I have never laughed so hard! I have so many favourites it would be impossible to name just one.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Love these! Don't listen to the asswipes that keep accusing you of lying. These are terrific and many, many people love them! LOVE THE AUDIO!! Keep it up!!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Love the audio!! I'm a newcomer to your site and a fellow blogger. Love this!

    ReplyDelete
  30. I second the motion for more audio clips. We know you must have busy lives (no doubt needing to make up for any sleep deficit you may incur from sleeping next to STM). But as my husband and I try to recreate the dialogue from your posts to each other...it misses a certain something*. Namely, a british accent. A very humble suggestion? Would love to hear what you believe to be the best audio clip of the night.

    Please, I need my fix...I'm a sixth grade teacher in Cali, and I need all the laughs I can get:-)


    *oddly, I sleep-talk in other accents

    ReplyDelete
  31. Not THAT Adam, obviously. I agree that a lot of the sleep-sentences are funny, but I feel a little worried about the people who appear to be splitting their sides over them. A bit overboard, I think. Sorry. Ah well, enjoy.

    ReplyDelete
  32. i try to give myself a few days in between posts because i just can't take it laughing every day! HAHA. i still think this is the best: I can't control the kittens. Too many whiskers! Too many whiskers!

    classic!

    ReplyDelete
  33. Karen & Adam:

    There are always going to be naysayers for everything. Some people are just more comfortable living in the gutter rather than in the stars. Too bad, but that's their choice.
    Know that there are many of us out here who are glad you've chosen to go public with this and let us listen in.

    Also, I don't have a problem with anyone making money. Come up with a clever thing to put on a tee, naysayers, and perhaps you can have a couple of my dollars, too. I already have earmarked a few of the tees are major wants & once some more pressing money things are dealt with, they're on my want list. So, I'm glad there's merchandise. Some of us want to buy it!

    Em

    ReplyDelete
  34. Just love the rhythm of the squid wrestling line! Sheer poetry! Such a delight!

    ReplyDelete
  35. I love this blog!!! A friend just sent me the link yesterday and I'm having a hard time getting any work done because I can't stop reading and listening! I LOVE THIS!

    Thanks so much for sharing this with us!!! :)

    I just ordered the 'You're Pretty' Anti-Valentine's Day Card for a friend of mine and I can't wait to give it to her! I want to tell her about the blog so bad but I must wait until I actually give her the card. *Sigh*

    Take care!

    ReplyDelete
  36. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  37. I LOVE LOVE LOVE your blog!!!! Reading your blog is how I start my day. I believe this is real, I know you have your detachers but who cares!!! Even if Adam is awake and aware of what he is saying, he is a genius. Some people are paid to sit and write witty items for greeting card for a living and are not this clever. I happy that in these hard economic times you are able to parlay this phenomenon into a revenue stream. Such entrepreneur spirit is what makes economies run. Can’t wait for a year’s worth for sleep talking in book form!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  38. Love your hilarious blog! I read every morning it to take the edge off the anxiety of leaving for work. You guys are totally believable! My twin brother and mother are sleep-talker. They've said some funny stuff but I've never heard anything as funny as what Adam says. Thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
  39. I disgaree with the last comment. Plenty of people can come up with stuff this witty, or even wittier.

    The best thing about these quotes is that he says this stuff when he is asleep. If it is real, then it is fantatstic. If it is fake, then it becomes a pile of crap.

    IMO, it makes a massive difference whether this is genuine or not. I have an imagination and could easily make up quotes like this, maybe some of the other followers on here don't have the wit or imagination to do the same, and are therefore in awe of anyone who can!

    ReplyDelete
  40. Squid Wrestling!!! LOL LOL LOL!! Seriously though, would pay good money to see that!

    On another note, used my STM messenger bag first time yesterday! I'm using it for work and had a training at a huge law firm and litteraly had to start EVERY Training with an explanation of "Badgertastic" Had the place rolling and then running from the training to their computers to find you! I do my part to spread the badgertasticness of your site!

    Also, overheard a barrista at starbucks say his mocha he just mixed was badgertastic to the customer as he passed it over! LMAO!!!

    ReplyDelete
  41. To the person who said that the t-shirts are up too fast...it's not as if someone is taking a picture of an actual t-shirt....it's a graphic...that I'm sure can be changed in a matter of minutes...not really a valid argument anonymous.

    ReplyDelete
  42. I don't understand why you don't always add audio.

    ReplyDelete
  43. hahahahaha all tenacles and no substance. good one! hilarious

    www.travelingmango.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  44. Karen and Adam, than you so much for adding some laughter to my days. I've been in the hospital for several weeks now, and every morning I check this blog for anything new. It's a great way to start my day, and whenever I need a laugh, I just come read it all over again.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Karen and Adam, you guys are great!! I can't start my day now without seeing what happened last night and it always leaves me laughing until I cry! Please always keep posting!! (the audio is brilliant!!)
    Connecticut, USA loves you guys!!!

    (("Prof.zzzMAN-ylizer" has, however, reached weirdo status. Are those posts supposed to be funny? How can you even attempt to make a funny comment after reading the gold that comes from Adam? There's NO CONTEST!!!))

    ReplyDelete
  46. Synnove from South Carolina4 February 2010 20:02

    You guys are great! Thank-you for have the sense of humor and grace to make us all laugh daily.
    Poor squid.... maybe he just needs a little Panco. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  47. This blog is the funniest thing I've ever read. No matter how many times I hear it, I crack up everytime I listent to the audio. I've shown this blog to lots of people, and they all love it, keep it up!

    Another note, there's no way this could be fake, someone would have to be REALLY creative to come up with those lines, I mean, they come from nowhere! Squid wrestling? Rediculous! Love it!

    ReplyDelete
  48. Tentacles...... furry animals....... sex....... I tell you, a person could make a fortune flogging these at Anthrocon..... 7@=e

    ReplyDelete
  49. Prof.zzzMAN-ylizer4 February 2010 21:45

    ooOoops...Connecticut KittyCLK17 is having a bit of a meowy moment and that's OK...it doesn't however raise your blog stats much if that is your route ;)

    there are many choices in this world...to read hmmm...or not to read to skip and even delete...
    all those options are available to us here

    do skip over long posts as i've discovered i'm not much of a tweeter thus nor twittering the digits

    not into contests, obviously you may not be an early follower...but nonetheless, all posts could be deleted, shortened may be a good direction it appears, trying hard and will try harder to not strain the fan bases' eyes i believe

    conversation is my forte, do tune out, skip over any time take for what it is; just there and not much more than that in sillyness, spreading joy is not a crime nor of defence, so chill. . .

    truly no contest here or ever, those are for the opinionated, just an add on for some, not for all, or others, that's what makes the world go round, 'butt' i better stop wastin' space, for time's a wastin' on this subject to subject one to dizziness...back to the comments...

    n'thar she Blows...
    hop - skippin'ana jumpin'
    . . . aka . . .
    NEXT!...

    =o}

    ReplyDelete
  50. SMACK 'EM!! LOL The audio is priceless.

    Karen - don't let it pain you! It has nothing to do with you. Those people don't know you. This is the way they would respond to anyone doing anything that threatened them in some way. This is how they interact with their whole world, not just with you guys.

    And to the cynics and angermongers - you really could be having more fun than that! Come on in! The water is great, and no one is "going to get you". Really - you don't ever, ever have to buy a t-shirt, nor a mug, nor a bag. Really... life can be more fun. You can decide to have more fun ***just because you want to.***

    ReplyDelete
  51. lol, The "Smack 'Em" reminded me a little of A Clockwork Orange

    "Eggiwegs...I would like to Smash 'em!"

    ReplyDelete
  52. I want a squid t-shirt! Or bag! Please?

    ReplyDelete
  53. yeah i can relate i have the itchies today.
    xD

    ReplyDelete
  54. According to The Thinker: "I have an imagination and could easily make up quotes like this" .......and I graciously invite him/her to prove it ...right here, right now ....... put your thinking where your mouth is.

    ReplyDelete
  55. I've been enjoying this site quite a lot, and today's post inspired me to write a post on my own blog. Squid wrestling...what an image. Thanks for all the laughs.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Reminds me of A Clockwork Orange when Alex is looking at the slide in the hospital and goes "Eggy Weggies. I want... to take them in my hand... and SMASH 'EM"

    ReplyDelete
  57. The best blog in the universe !!

    My daily laugh, I love you guys :)

    ReplyDelete
  58. I talk in my sleep WAY too much as well, drives my wife crazy because I'm always asking her to remember what I said.

    ReplyDelete
  59. I am new to your blog, and loving it so much. I can't imagine it without the audio, it just gives such a new level of hilarity that I don't think I could live without!!
    Thank you so much for all the giggles!

    Theah

    ReplyDelete
  60. Squid wrestling! Epic.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Why am I not getting the audio of this? *is sad*

    ReplyDelete
  62. Edit suggestion: I think "SMACK 'em!" is a better transcription! :)

    ReplyDelete
  63. LOL ITCHY ITCHES fabulous!

    ReplyDelete
  64. This man is an international treasure.

    ReplyDelete
  65. Thank you so much for the daily dose of laughter!!! I grew up listening to my mom talk in her sleep,and thankfully I have one tape that my step dad made for me...it is a treasure I will one day be able to listen to again...but for now I have you guys!! International treasure is right!
    Diann in Texas

    ReplyDelete
  66. I have decided that this is my favorite one. It reminds me of something my boyfriend has said in his sleep.

    ReplyDelete