Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20100215

Feb 15 2010

Something went wacky with the recorder last night, so I missed out on whatever Adam said. I'm a bit gutted. To make myself feel better, I'll share THIS, for which I've been waiting for a special occasion:


"Don't move a muscle. Bushbabies are everywhere... everywhere... Shoot the fucking big-eyed wanky shite fucks! Kick 'em. Stamp them. Poke 'em in their big eyes! Take that for scaring the crap out of me."

 or click here
And for those of you who have never seen one, this is a ferocious, terrifying bushbaby:

93 comments:

  1. i got a fright too...

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  2. Claire here:

    Thanks for adding the pic ;) it was a finishing touch for sure, LOL, "big eyed, wanky, shite fucks" bloody hysterical.....
    I'm off to bed now; this blog is really messing with my routine 'cos I wait until after midnight hoping that you have the next entry in for the day. Canada is 8 hours behind. Good-night all x

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  3. "ferocious and terrifying"? It's adorable! Look at those big eyes and ask yourself: could you really hurt that thing?

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  4. And you guys in Canada are messing with our routines with your Olympic Games ;)
    I've never heard of those bushbaby's before, but I understand why he is so scared by them. Nice one :)

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  5. "Big-eyed wanky shite fucks."
    Awesome. LOL
    Also from Canada :) And I always check before I go to bed. Always laugh, it never fails :)

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  6. Ah, but have you ever HEARD a Bushbaby?

    You're lying there in a four-poster bed in your beachside Zanzibar paradise, drifting off to sleep lulled by the gentle swish of the Indian Ocean and the chirping of the cicadas...

    ...and just as you doze off...

    ...the loudest, most spine-freezing SHRIEK.

    Bushbabies. They may not have fearsome teeth, big claws or toxic venom - they'll just give you a bloody coronary.

    D

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  7. Loved it. I really needed this.

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  8. Bushbabies are SO ugly ... but cute. Yes, I'm contradicting myself. I just can't help it.

    And Dungeekin's "they'll just give you a bloody coronary" I don't doubt it, sir. LOL.

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  9. Ah that's classic!

    And greetings from South Africa ... where the bushbabies live! :-)

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  10. Ambyr from WI

    I think I'm your biggest fan..no shite! Thank for being such a random fucker!

    And Karen thank you for posting these. How the hell do you not crack up and wake him up when he says this stuff? That takes skill girl!

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  11. Oops, he almost laughs when he's reading out the quote he wrote. Audio is a bad idea.

    To all the beloved believers, I wonder if any of you would like to buy my copy of the Hitler diaries?

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  12. anonymous 11:21:
    what audio are you listening to? although people do laugh, sing, shout in their sleep. i was not laughing in my sleep in this instance. i think that is clear to anyone listening.

    Also i feel your comment to the followers of this blog to be highly offensive, especially in your comparison. If you do not believe this is real, you are welcome to state this, but this comment and ones like this will be deleted in future.

    adam

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  13. I have no trouble believeing you, having said some rather bizarre things in my sleep myself. 'You can't tell the police about our secret mission!' springs to mind...I'm a fairly consistent sleeptalker

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  14. You got one recorder. You need two. It's useless without two. With two you can take over the freakin' world, or failing that, at least make sure you have a back-up tape should the first machine fail.

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  15. lol now THATS funny!!! :D loving it guys keep em coming!! hope the honeymoon was good xxx

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  16. May I suggest you guys cut back on watching nature programs, especially those shown close to bedtime!

    I don't know which is more disturbing: the idea that this stuff is floating around in Adam's subconscious, or that you two are deliberately making it up. Either way, thank you for sharing your quirky mind(s) with us.

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  17. that is great adam! i think its my favorite so far.... that picture just did me in. i can't stop giggling!

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  18. I love bushbabies... They're so cute. You get a variety in sizes. We have a few in our garden and have never heard coronary inducing shrieks - I can believe it though. There's Afrikaans name is Nagapie (which translates to hight monkey). So funny!

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  19. Aww poor wee bushbabies in Adam's dreams.

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  20. Ever seen paranormal activity? maybe thats what happened to your recorder last night. Just dont get a video camera

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  21. Just a bit of friendly editing, the word designer is spelled desiger at the top of the page right above the ad for the clothes

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  22. Thanks for catching that typo, Anonymous! Wow, that thing has been hangin' out there for a while. I fixed it.

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  23. Two words...I BELIEVE

    I'm sorry but Adam's sleep talkin' is too funny to be made up. C'mon, even those late night comedians aren't dead on funny all the time & besides they have writers to help them out! Adam just has his subconcious self.

    Any who, Adam & Karen, wouldn't miss your blog for anything!

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  24. OMG! That is toooooooooooooooo funny!
    I hope that you can find out/fix what ever is wrong with the recorder...not sure who's more disappointed, you or me/us?!? lol.

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  25. the transformation between mild-mannered Adam and STM is like the transformation between Adam and He-Man lol

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  26. I must admit, I had never heard of bushbabies before. When he was saying it, aI thought he was talking about human babies!

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  27. Hi, its me, "2nd" guy (as ive started calling myself) Id jst like to c some1 reply to my comments, but o well. Hes got a point, 2 adams, 2 transformations (number 2 comes up again hmmm? I really am "2nd" guy...)

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  28. 2nd guy here agin, Karen, how about his version of a bushbabie is a baby bush with fangs? lol

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  29. 2nd guy...bush baby with fangs? wow sounds evil to me! adam

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  30. Do bush babies make frightening sounds? I know that howler monkeys (in Central America) sound like jaguars and are quite terrifying if you don't know this. Sorry about the recorder!

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  31. Is the bush baby holding its stomach? If so, it is really fat.

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  32. it looks like a possum? is it a possum or another creature similar to a possum. Im from New Zealand, so could be different terminology

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  33. Dungeekin said: "Ah, but have you ever HEARD a Bushbaby...? Bushbabies. They may not have fearsome teeth, big claws or toxic venom - they'll just give you a bloody coronary."

    No kidding!! They DO scare the cr*p out of ya! :-P

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  34. Hahahaha! I kinda feel sorry for the ferocious bushbaby. LOL!

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  35. To Canadian Guy: The bushbaby is sitting on someone's finger I believe so it is probably holding on to that.

    To Adam and Karen: You better fix that recorder! We are all counting on our morning entertainment. Plus, if the recorder isn't fixed, you'll run out of backups!

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  36. Oh. It's that small?

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  37. looks like a tarsier.. but a tarsier is cuter.. that one's indeed scary.

    The ViXeN's LaiR

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  38. Prof. ZzzMAN-ylizer15 February 2010 at 16:29

    the first thing i saw were THE EYES...of a bat...but not...then as i scrolled back up to the wierd veined ears...this is also a worldly learning lesson now with not only audiospeech accent of language...

    the pictures to his mind even he doesn't know...sleepyAdam cannot trick wakingAdam and he is left with having to explain himself to himself and we get up scratchin our noggens...

    a night monkey that shrills (and a 'fangerlandish one isn't far from reach at this rate!)...only in dreams to make this up...but again...its for real that one exist across the oceans those babybushbabies that go buggybooo as they cooo in the night when you say, oh nooo...i wonder if they SEE better like OWL EyEs a shinin' due to their glaSSes-size ii's --- 'here's lookin'atyoubabe'

    froggishly fingers and All bare bellied!...bask in 'ME' today...ssshhh...don't mention i snuck the recorder, threwit about while it shook me half ta-da death...those voices they call Adamlike...too wacky a toything...i WANT bananas!...who's got my bananas...can't find my bananas...I need them! [desperately] Who's got my ...

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  39. Prof. ZzzMAN-ylizer15 February 2010 at 16:41

    oh, actually could be a hairy chested one...a hand some one in the palm of ones' hand...so handoverhand this one over to you, my handout, and'a handy way to 'rid' of... ... ...you're it!...

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  40. It looks like a BOOwhoOO...
    that's his name for the day.
    (i have lottsa whiskers, but i really am smiling from ear to ear...this attention! for being just ME ME me...myself and I)

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  41. I have no trouble believing it either. I don't usually talk in my sleep, but I've had some freakin' weird dreams. Let's steal a dream quote or 2 :P -
    "I just thought you should know, I was born without shoulders."

    "Quick--why could Jesus do all the things he could do?"
    "Because he had a lion?"
    "I was thinking more along the lines of a magic walking staff..."
    "Okay, he had a lion staff. Two of them."

    "SPOON REVERBERATION!!!!" I was reading a book in my dream and those were the only words I could make out =).

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  42. Hong Kong is 8 hours ahead!! :P

    Bushbabies are @_@!!!
    But I've seen Tarsius on Bohol Island, the Philippines. They're cute.

    ~Kat

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  43. You guys are totally making my day today with the comments.

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  44. I'm new to this but it's hilarious!
    Question, why does Adam dream of animals so much? Is he a Veterinarian or does he work at a zoo of some sort?

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  45. I can't really say why Adam talks so much about animals in his sleep. We are both really into animals, and watch a fair amount of wildlife programming. Perhaps it's just that animals are a great source of wacky randomness, and Adam's subconscious is aware of that?

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  46. Got relatives in SA, my dad used to have a bushbaby. It was evil and hated everyone, would attack them, except for him.
    Possibly because his mother smuggled it out of its homeland to come back to dingy England (this was a long time ago, and had I been around to have a say, I'd have laid into her for it!!) so I don't blame it for being grumpy.

    It's not a tarsier, it's not a possum. Wiki is your friend, as is David Attenborough!

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  47. That is probably now one of my favorites...right next to the pirate audio on the left!

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  48. This is DEFINITELY one of my own favorites. I love the way he whispers "... everywhere...."

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  49. i love...........karen! there i said it and it isn't even crappy valentine's anymore! adam

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  50. Oh that one is golden!!

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  51. Awesome! I've never seen a bush baby or even heard of one before, so thanks for teaching me something new! lol - I think they are so ugly they're cute! Poor little bush babies!
    Don't let the Nay-Sayers bring you down, I believe you Adam and Karen! Keep it up!
    The only thing funnier than this randomness is some of the one-liners my kids come up with - of course STM uses way more profanities!
    Sherri - also a Canadian!

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  52. Perfect comment Adam!! ;)
    You guys make my day, everyday.
    ..from Canada

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  53. Bushbabies are unnerving. Their eyes are just so GIANT! I don't blame dream!Adam for being freaked out by them.

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  54. Love it!! i think the picture just added the finished touch to this!! Love the blog, i cry with hysterics!!

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  55. They scare me too, dude!! :-D

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  56. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFMQ9ysQows

    This is proper sleep talking. Funnier than this site and not made up either. This guy is narrating his whole dream, not just random quotes suitable for t-shirts. Notice the genuine emotion in his voice, he's not pretending to be asleep you see!

    Brilliant.

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  57. This makes my roflcopter go roflroflrofl

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  58. LOL!! i dont know how you get any sleep at all... i would be up all night laughing my ass off!

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  59. Claire here:

    Anonymous 19:06 - please bog off!!

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  60. LOVE this one ... by the way, I went to the STM shop to browse, and BUTT CHEEKS AHOY is no longer on there? That's my fav! Any way of putting it back on? Thanks! We love you guys!!!

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  61. I want one of those things. They're kind of cute! :)

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  62. @ Anon 15:33: To clarify, bushbabies (as well as tarsiers, aye-ayes, lorises and pottos, among others) are, iirc, classified as lemurs or prosimians; that is, primates that split off the evolutionary tree before monkeys, apes and humans.

    In fact, I think aye-ayes are even freakier: their eyes may not be as big, but..... those fingers? 7@=G

    We may not have bushbabies around where I am, but we do have fishers, which are said to have a truly blood-curdling shriek...

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  63. That creature looks like an Eye-Eye! My mom freaks every time she sees one on tv...I laugh. :)

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  64. anonymous 19:06 if you think this blog is fake do everyone a favor and just dont bother going through the trouble of commenting or even reading just... i dont know.. heres an idea maybe you just dont come to the site!! i think that idea might be perfect for you!!!

    to Adam and Karen- thanks so much for entertaining all of us! i have personally added about 15 fans for you! i told everyone how hilarious this blog is and they all checked it out and we all subscribed to your fb page to get sms messages to our phones so we can take stm with us through out the day!! we love you guys keep up the fantastic work!!!

    ps im not sure how anyone can think that this blog is fake! its bloody brilliant!!!

    Lins

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  65. Thank you Muggle Born - what a great suggestion!
    I've never understood why someone needs to try and prove "I AM RIGHT AND EVERYONE ELSE IS WRONG!" Especially when it's for something that has brought laughter and joy to so many people around the world, who cares what the source is? This is about making people smile and sharing something in a way that was never possible before. Instead of trying to find fault or prove this is "Fake" why can't people just enjoy it, or failing that, just leave it alone if you don't appreciate it?
    S

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  66. LOL!! I did know what a bushbaby was but the pic did me in anyway, and then the quote! And the audio!!!

    And all the comments... Especially Karen thinking he was talking about human babies!

    THEN - I went looking for how big they are 'cause I thought they were quite small which made it even funnier, and found this:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UA0cb7PURDw

    And now I totally sympathize with STM. Dastardly bushbabies...

    But this one :) took me back to "ohhh they're so cute" land:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GN8fs5gn_38&NR=1&feature=fvwp

    You always makes me laugh.

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  67. Muggle Born and Anonymous 22:30 - i sometimes get the impression people like that truly believe they have uncovered the greatest conspiracy since Roswell!!

    And to the person who was asking about BUTT CHEAKS AHOY - please get in touch via the email address on the blog.

    adam

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  68. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  69. I just saw this quote at the bottom of an email sent by a friend - I'm sending it to you, Karen and Adam!

    "Let's be thankful for people who make us happy. They are the gardeners of our souls."

    And - your shielding us from the negativity makes this much more delightful for all of us, but you guys still have to read those posts. I hope they all just roll right off!

    To Anon 23:21 - I seem to remember someone saying a while back they would have no trouble coming up with material this funny every day. And I think someone invited them to produce it, then. And I don't recall hearing from them again... You want to have a go?

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  70. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UA0cb7PURDw&NR=1

    I was hoping to capture the sound - but this one is enough to give you bad dream without saying a word!

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  71. Uh oh - someone had already posted that link - my bad!!!

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  72. Such a great quote!! I love it. I must say sleep talkin Adam is very poetic with his combination of insults...it would make life very entertaining to be able to use "fucking big-eyed wanky shite fucks" in an every day conversation and watch the reaction. Sadly, I don't have conversations where that would be at all appropriate...as a nurse I don't think that would go over well. =)
    Thank you for the continuous giggles here in Ontario
    Melanie

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  73. Adam is most likely the healthiest person we'll ever not know. I used to teach 4th graders. When I had a particularly nasty day with one or two students, I usually dreamed that I throttled them. I used to feel horrible about it until I realised that I went to work the next day not having any grudges or annoyances. I worked it out in my dreams. Very harmless. They are dreams, FFS.

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  74. Adam thank you for responding to my post totally made my day!!!

    i had a horrible day at work right after i left my comment then i come back home and this page was still up on the computer and i saw that you had posted something and it totally made me feel better!! thanks!

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  75. i wouldn't say i am the healthiest person, there are people i have come across during the day i wish to throttle.

    Muggle born - i am glad i could help!

    adam

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  76. but you don't throttle. you probably don't even flare your nostrils and raise your lower eyelids to glower at them.

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  77. As someone living with a person who does the exact same thing, I can vouch that these are not likely made up.

    We've had interesting nights where I was woken to be told we needed more sponges, and that the seats of a minivan were very bouncy (two of many interesting things that have been said).

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  78. but its soo cute!!!....

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  79. David Attenborough is your friend! lol
    On the note of wildlife check out David Attenborough, "I hate nature." There are two parts. If you search "David Attenborough I hate nature" I think its the first two that come up. Also terribly hilarious! I think some of you might get a kick out of it :)

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  80. wannadance - that's exactly what I thought when I saw it! "Holy crap no wonder he wanted to do them in..."

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  81. I know a guy that sleep talks. He once declared he was very flammable and started to hit me (as if to put out the flames)... so I believe every bit of this to be true!

    All hilarious! Just brilliant! :)

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  82. Poor little bush babies

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  83. Awww they are so cute!! I want one...or ten!!!!

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  84. I just watched a movie, Duma, and kept saying "I want a bush baby!" Thanks and thanks for the laughs! Keep posting;)

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  85. A friend introduced me to this site :]
    I was looking through and telling my brother about this when I clicked audio for this... I couldn't stop laughing. Then, I trying to tell my brother the quote and I couldn't stop laughing at 'Shoot the fucking big-eyed wanky shite fucks!' I am now a devoted follower! :]
    um... -LexiLove♥

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  86. wow I had a dream I was hugging a bush baby that very night

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  87. i literally cried with laugter when I read this one. you are a bit of sunshine in anotherwise dreary world. Don't stop sleep-muttering! Its genius!

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