Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)


Mar 17 2010

"I need a book. A big book. And the loo. Happiness."

"I'm sorry, but, you can take your can-do attitude and fuck it 'til it's raw. Can you do that? Can you?"

"Those brown sharks are worrisome. Bobbing in the river. They give me the willies."

"Need room. Spread my wings."

Karen's notes:

loo = toilet

Also, that last one was said during a late-night battle for space and duvet (comforter).


  1. Oohhh. That last one. I'm amused. Highly amused. I'm surprised my fiance hasn't said something like that.... he's a notorious blanket hog.

  2. ^^
    If you do a top twenty or ten list it will be hard to choose.

    Every night is like christmas, you never know what gem of a saying Adam will say. and it's an amusing read every time

  3. The second is perfect for my general use...

  4. The first one is very, very true. That IS happiness.

  5. Is there a chance that the brown sharks bobbing in the river are the result of going into the loo with a big book?

  6. can adam please watch Alice in wonderland 3d before going to sleep please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  7. Jackie31337: That's just what I was thinking. 8-O

  8. I can't even think up clever comebacks when I'm awake, let alone asleep! Adam's a legend and these sleeptalking stories make my day!

  9. Prof. ZzzMAN-ylizer17 March 2010 at 14:06

    ♣ . . . :) . . . St. Patrick's Day ♣

    la laa laaah, la dee da, la dee doo, doo doo dooooo ...

    sitting here on this throne feels much better, reading -King of the Castle-
    BIG HUGE in your SMILEY FACE, twisty go lucky. Done.

    In the can can In the can can,, can you just spread
    your wings over to there quickly and hand me su'more loo sheets,

    Can you do that? Can you? fuck it, it's raw and comin'in strong...'s like what jackie 31337 said...brown sharks are also bobbing in this river...
    the result of going into the loo with a big FAT and terribly FUNNY book has got me going a little more than i expected!!!

    I'm sorry!...i need room for Happiness and lottza lottza more loo loo loo paper will do just
    that, !please? ...i am also...die a reahing here an' it cud be a battle, worrisome...They give me the willies now...

    I need room; you need more room!...du vet, do also pass me that canspray..i need to freshener up this space ---to comfort level,
    ...thank you?, byebye.

  10. Anyway you can post these separately? I want to share the can do attitude one on FB, but it shares all of them when I click to share.

  11. Oh I love the 'fuck it til it's raw'. Just now on my way home someone cut me up on the dual carriageway and in my head I called him a "piss-flap motherfucking tosser". Oh STM. I love you (not in THAT way).

  12. @ Cpt Fandango, that would be hysterical!

  13. Karen, did you wake adam up and let him know he needed to go to the bathroom so he didn't wet the bed?

  14. Jo: It doesn't sound like WETTING the bed was the problem. -Karen

  15. I have to tell you Prof. Z, I love your writing. It's like you take STM musings, toss them in a kaleidoscope, add a stong hallucinogenic, and shake vigorously.

    Look through the lens, it's Prof. Z!

    What is it with men, the bathroom and reading material?? Growing up my brothers where in there so long we started to call it the library.

    Thanks for the daily giggles!

  16. It doesn't sound like WETTING the bed was the problem

    join friends links forum

  17. Have you ever considered that your husband is intentionally making these comments at night in order for you to have an interesting blog? I think he is playing with you.

  18. anonymous, to answer your question:

    1. i would have had the presight to know karen was going to make a blog as the sleeptalking started 8 months before the blog was ever considered.

    2. i would have to find the time to prescript everything i was saying - pretty hard when you have a fast paced, full time job.

    3. creatively, i would also have to be pretty damn amazing.

    i also think i would consider myself a pretty low person to lie to karen about all this, every night. to lie to the world effectively. that is something i would never do to karen. if you don't believe anything else, believe that at least.

    thank you

  19. Oh, I wish I had the balls (or stupidity) (or wealth) to say the second one at work tomorrow!

  20. Yup - wondering about those brown sharks! And yeah, Daphne at 07:26 - even twenty favorites would be hard to choose - ten, impossible.

    This made me laugh Christina: "cut me up on the dual carriageway" - more Britglish!

    Great description of Prof Z's rambles, T! Fun fun and trippy. Though the visuals for today's got a bit... icky... :) :)

    Adam, I don't think most detractors even get it that you and Karen are "real people." I don't know that they even get it that they are calling a real person (a man who is gentle and kind, if they have given even a small bit of time and attention to your comments and the tv spots) a total liar. It just makes me shake my head.

    Thanks as always for adding so much fun and laughter to our lives!

  21. "Need room. Spread my wings." Wouldn't that be great on a nightshirt? ;-)

  22. I absolutely agree with the nightshirt idea.

  23. 17 March 2010 14:06
    burningone said...
    Anyway you can post these separately? I want to share the can do attitude one on FB, but it shares all of them when I click to share.

    this may be a little late but...try hilighting and 'copy' & 'paste'. It worked for me!

  24. @Adam: "3. creatively, i would also have to be pretty damn amazing."

    Well, if you ask Sleep Talkin' Man, he would obviously say that's true. Maybe that's where your alter ego's huge ego comes from.

  25. @ S.M Carriere can you imagine, ha ha ha

  26. Ooooh..I SO wish I had the attitude one on a shirt that I could wear at work tomorrow! Love it!

  27. Good God! That's my exclamation as I read the second one. The first one Is happiness. Hilarious. Keep it coming Adam, you light up a lot of people's day when your asleep!

  28. The "can do" one is one of my all-time favourites.

  29. I agree with jackie31337 & nicely put yet again 2manywhiskers!
    Keep 'em coming Adam and Karen - bringing laughter to the world is a noble pursuit!

  30. Just discovered the site tonight. Been scrolling through and have gotten this far. It occurs to me that he seems to live in the world of the movie "Office Space" in his sleep. Many of those disdainful work quotes could easily slip right into the script.