Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20100316

Mar 16 2010

"As a vacuous cum bucket, you're perfect."

"Of course I know where your eyes are. I just like staring at your tits. Thank you!"

"You try feeding me any processed soya, you're going to find it very hard to wipe your ass without any fucking arms."

"Correctomundo! Take the frame and shit on it, stick it on the wall and stare at it with pride. Cause that's the best thing you're ever going to do."
__________

Karen's note: Nothing to say about last night's offensive mutterings (except sorry?). I just wanted to let you all know that, after numerous requests, I've put all the published audio together on a page. There's a link to it in the audio section in the left-hand column.

29 comments:

  1. Hmmm. He seems a little pissssed about something. Still very fascinating reading. :-D

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  2. I never cease to laugh and be surprised at the wonderfully inane mutterings that you post.

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  3. Have you seen the Forehead Tittaes spoof? Search it on Youtube if you haven't - that's the first thing I thought of.

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  4. Do people at his job read this....and quote it back to him?

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  5. I love this~! I talk in my sleep as well but never as funny I am sure! I read this every night when I work just for the laugh! Thanks for the entertainment...Do you get any sleep at all?

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  6. alex, funnily enough they have done. i am just waiting for my first client to do the same!

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  7. Hehe, got to use the second one!

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  8. The new audio page should have a warning on it; it's dangerously hilarious. If it weren't for the fact that they read the blog too, my co-workers would think I've gone insane because I was laughing so hard.

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  9. #1 - sometimes you just need to say it like it is - no sense sugar-coating it! lol
    I love #3 - a vague disclaimer does no one any good! But seriously Karen - don't ever feed him soya!
    Sherri

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  10. LOL @ the second one! That's my favorite so far!

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  11. Prof. ZzzMAN-ylizer16 March 2010 14:03

    "Correctomundo!" Of course I know where your eyes are, stare at it with pride,

    cum Thank you!...Cause you're perfect...Take the frame and shit on it...

    soya going to find it very hard to wipe your ass and You try feeding me any processed...

    without any fucking arms... do then, try to stick it on the wall...

    ...soo...is vacuous bucket staring that titillating just like the best thing you're ever going to do?...


    (...my jaw dropping word!...Of course, i think,
    ...i'm running on jackson browne empty buckets
    today...)

    ♫ sohava appy pre-early Sham-Rockin' day ♫

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  12. Karen, I think it would be fun if we could rate/rank our favorites and then, based on the highest average, have a 'Top Ten' page that gets updated as new ones come out. I have no knowledge of how much work that is but, if it's possible, it would be awesome!

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  13. the second one has to go on a shirt!

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  14. hey a top ten page... i like that idea.

    KAREN????

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  15. 4-ever =O) laughter16 March 2010 14:35

    AUDIO listening IS the NEW
    pastime paradise! ...ANYTIME!

    THOSE WERE GREAT! (shania approved)

    --- upper/downers for in-betweeners ---

    !much thanks!

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  16. so, clearly soya is pretty close to lentils on the 'hate with a vengeance" scale.
    yay for an audio page!

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  17. "correctomundo" - Fonzie lives!

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  18. I thought the same thing! Go Team Fonzerelli!

    BTW, I feel EXACTLY the same way about anyone who would try to feed me tofu.

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  19. lol i love the second one very funny

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  20. A top ten page would be great! OR Top 20 hits? I'm sure there's more that we all like. To just narrow it down to 10 would be a shame. But I would like to say that on just some of the more shall we say risque quotes audio isn't posted. A few lately I would have loved to hear!

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  21. Oh well, at least STM gets it all out! That way Adam can be all happy and nice. You'd better be nice to Karen today Adam....

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  22. Karen, how are you not offended by some of this? Does Adam ever feel the need to apologize when he learns what his subconscious has disclosed?

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  23. I find these hysterical. He just says what he's kept inside for however long. It's almost like Tourette's Syndrome, where some symptons are twitching, but others are swearing and saying things they don't truly mean. Can't be angry at them for that ya know?

    Btw what is soya?

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  24. 2manywhiskers17 March 2010 01:33

    I missed yesterday, so got a two-fer today! Must say I enjoyed yesterday's a bit more. :P The manatee quote is one of the Best! My favorites, benign or insulting, are the one's with the greatest element of surprise. Then the pics, the BANANAS, and everyone's comments - so fun and funny.

    Today's... is certainly one of the crankier collections. But "last night's offensive mutterings" cracked me up.

    And then the AUDIOS! Hearing his tone and inflection adds -so- much fun, and it's so fun to review them. Thank you Karen, for all your work here in the name of More Laughter in the World. :) :)

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  25. I was at a loss for words and in a pure rage during an argument last week, and STM saved the day... my opponent had absolutely no comeback for:

    NEEDLE-DICK BUG-FUCKER!!!!!

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  26. Is this really what we need to know, i think yes because i enjoyed your post a lot.

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  27. Man, the tits comment is SO T-shirt worthy! From a New Englander, I say, "Wicked Pissah!"

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  28. YES!! I agree! a LOT of US bikers would buy the tits shirt and wear it proudly at motorcycle rallies.

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  29. My hubby wants the eyes/tits comment on a t-shirt LOL

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