Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20100322

Mar 22 2010

"Sure you can have my phone number. It's like having a direct line to God. But better. Because I answer."
__________

Karen's note: Although no one can complain that the quality isn't there, we're just not getting the quantity we want out of Adam in the last few days. I think it's time to try out cheese before bed.

So, here's a bonus leftover from honeymoon.

__________

"Is there something scratching in here? Shhhhh. Scratching things, everybody stop! Everybody stop! I've got to listen to the scratching things. Stop scratching, YOU! Stop scratchiiiing... Thank you... You're the scratchy thing, you're the scratchy thing. Cock off!"

 or click here

49 comments:

  1. This should be a shirt. It really, really should.

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  2. You seem to have had good results with eggplant in the past. How about giving that a go again?

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  3. OMG! that was too funny! I actually chuckled out loud! thank you guys! I needed that, yeah, i needed that.
    *sigh

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  4. Hahaha i love that a lot!

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  5. I think that was the best audio ever! He didn't seem sleepy at all. Did he take a 5 hour energy before bed or something? :)

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  6. thanks Karen&Adam
    ...i needed a good laugh
    xo

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  7. Try bleu cheese. That has given me some REALLY strange dreams.

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  8. Oh, both were great today! YOU! Stop scraatchiiiing.... ROFLMAO

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  9. I just LOVE the way he says "cock off" in the audio! It killed me.

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  10. Somebody needs to bring this ego maniac to earth. He thinks he's Gods gift or something. PLEASE!

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  11. cook him a vegetarian casserole :D See what he'd come out with :) My partner got a recording of me throwing a tantrum in my sleep because "I WANT CHOCOLATE NOT MICE" :) I ate prawn cocktail pringles before bed so maybe try that? :)

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  12. I must say, I laugh out loud EVERY SINGLE TIME I hear today's audio. When he said it, I thought he was awake at first, because it was sort of relevant to what nights at the park were like. But then, he just kept going, even though it was dead silent in the hut. I pity the people in the hut next to ours.

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  13. PLEASE! You should know better than to believe this is Real...you mean YOUR dreams are always REAL? WOW!

    By following since Day One - will one finally get that it is all about the ^^^fun,fun,fun^^^ factor and nothing more than that! - as others add more of their own fun into the mix and that is quite an ego boost to start a day for anyone to share and spread all sorts of laughs.

    Except possibly the 13:06's annoymouslies... the gift on earth, or something?

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  14. is he as funny awake as he is asleep?

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  15. #1 definitely needs to be a t-shirt. And please - have it in women's sizes/cuts!

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  16. question: "is he as funny awake as he is asleep?"

    answer: he IS a clever guy but... sadly, no.

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  17. i found this on Wikipedia about Stilton cheese: "A 2005 survey carried out by the British Cheese Board reported that when it came to dream types, Stilton cheese seemed to cause odder dreams than other cheese, with 75% of men and 85% of women experiencing "odd and vivid" dreams after eating a 20-gram serving of the cheese half an hour before going to sleep."

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  18. Canadian Top Cat22 March 2010 15:45

    Poor Adam! Now he's a science project. We love you anyways! :)

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  19. Eat more cheese Adam we love you :)

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  20. It's so funny to see what new thing he has said.....too funny! thank you for sharing your Adam with the world.

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  21. Prof. ZzzMAN-ylizer22 March 2010 16:27

    ET...phone home...answer-of-factly...

    it sounds like quite a scratchy subject whereby...all accounts....more cheese for more cheesy greater goodies is the top cheese of the day to a cheesy Situation..a stopover by the.jersey shore market was a thought, cheese vs. morning toothpaste...no--- just g.t.l...

    "not...Enough with the cheese. not Enough!"

    add within the eggplanted-lasagnaed subcon-disha.liscious meal directed right to your doorstep (not his). . .whipped light and fluffy with an' air of well being ;)

    che-e-e-sey smiles and cheesy thinkin' again...after a wrestless to arrestful sleep.issshy outdoor adventure, the episodes will fall into place...that's life; the good, the bad, and the godawfulugly...will emerge through time as we continue to laugh it up ---whenever IT presents itself; however it plates itself in the brainwaves to make it to print.

    http://skvnet.blogspot.com/2009/03/sixth-sense-device-is-reality-thanks-to.html

    sumtymes...1 cent worth; other days... two sends worth, 3 sents worth, 4 scents worth...even 5 senses to 50 cent...it's the sixth sense and seven effect

    http://www.sixthsense.org/
    just another dream deduction...i came across...

    of sleep adams' nervous system of emotion and thought that is having that attention on us to everyday fascination...level of internal personal power-night musings that make it's way out in vocabularily funny form, especially ha-like 2daa, sometimes from the funny farm...

    then, what would cheeseburgers in paradise.dreams, do if jimmy buffet was added in the background? It might be a bunny thing if he drools for it too. the added dinnernight touch to all wine, roses, and cheese tasting exploration he'll experience ahead of him- hold the mayo-catchup-mustard & horseysauce- - - -.wetnaps.

    ( n'all just a fan (atical) theory ---i probably should keep to myself before they come knockin on my door to endure such excrutiation-torture of roller coaster giggleminds he had us goingon --- from the getgo ) . . .

    giddy-giddy up or get out...faaaast, clopclopclop....squintout...audio-s.-away.

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  22. i hate blue cheese. yucky, filthy fungy stuff. yuck

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  23. Agreed! I would never ask my beloved husband to eat that horrible fungus nastiness! -Karen

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  24. Phone #: GOLD.

    Perhaps you could make a Sleep Talking Teddy Bear: give him a squeeze and STM's actual voice comes out with his unworldly words of wisdom.

    (You can thank me for the idea later!)

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  25. Melitonian (Probally spelled wrong) is something your body produces to make you sleep. When I take it in pill form I have wacky dreams, so mabey it would help make adam talk!

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  26. Also, Valerian root, which I believe comes from the same plant that is used to make Valium? It smells AWFUL (like gym socks left in a locker for a month), but has interesting effects on sleep.

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  27. 'i hate blue cheese. yucky, filthy fungy stuff. yuck'

    Wait, that sounds like STM! Karen are you sure Adam wasn't sleep walkin' when he said this? Maybe he is Sleep Walkin' and Talkin' right now!

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  28. Oh man, I didn't notice the audio earlier when I read this. "You're the scratchy thing" is begging to be sampled and remixed into a techno track!

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  29. Sorry, Jackie, I had added it after your first viewing.

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  30. This audio is only second to Choc Dip. Hilarious!

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  31. I love it when Adam has a dream in response to something going on around him at the time. Like when the dog wants under the covers. I wonder if something was making a noise that night. Blueberries give me weird dreams...

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  32. i really envy you. I almost never get to know my dreams or get even a peak of whats happening in them. the few dreams i remember are reeeally epic.

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  33. I love how he always says "thank you" so sweetly in the midst of a string of profanities...

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  34. Love the way he said cock off in the audio... Interesting...

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  35. First, thank for making my day so much more funny. Second this must be made into a shirt or ringtone. I like the ending, sound like a song. I even dance to it.

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  36. Adam, Adam......

    Although I would partially agree with you on the subject of blue cheese, it is only the inferior varieties that are unpalatable.

    Stilton (the better class of Stilton) completely transcends the mundane level of 'blue cheese': it is the Food of the Gods. And thanks to lars06 for providing the corroboratory evidence.

    In Classical times, mushrooms were commonly given that divine epithet: not for any purely gastronomic reason, but because of the visions produced by certain varieties. It seems fairly clear that a major ingredient in some of the ancient mystery cults was the use of these substances to provide the initiates with the mystical experience.

    Hence, Stilton, by its preeminent ability to influence human dreams (as well as tasting absolutely scrumptious), should be venerated above all other dairy products..... As in the old song, it truly stands alone. 7@=Q

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  37. Karen, can we get Scratchy Things in a ring tone?? Please please please... I'll even sign up on voevo or whatever that is.... Thank you! Cock off! (well not really (I don't want you to Cock off!), but I couldn't resist saying it after the Thank you!)

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  38. One of his finests

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  39. 2manywhiskers23 March 2010 00:00

    How could he possibly, in the span of ONE day, equal if not top the mirror quote?? Utterly amazing. Maybe those two could be a front/back t-shirt.

    Hilarious audio and so many funny comments today - really had me laughing. Especially Adam ranting on in the hut, and this one: "Eat more cheese, Adam. We love you." Hallucinogenic cheese, at that! Can't believe you are so up-close and personally acquainted with Stilton cheese, LA/wts. whoa.


    And yes, yes, yes VonMalcolm to the teddy bear that speaks STM when you squeeze it!!! OMG funny. Or maybe it should be a penguin! Ooooorrrrr a whole collection - penguin, guinea pig, stripey zebra, elephant, doggie jockey - each with a different category of quotes.

    You can then give each of your guests the one that is best suited to how you feel about them. I'm seeing a dinner party... at the table after the meal... out comes dessert and the STM Stuffies... and KRSPGLSHH!! Ohh, coffee coming out the noses.

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  40. Karen & Adam--Totally appreciate all the posting (and sleeping?) that you folks do for this blog! I gleefully check the blog every day, but if Adam's nighttime verbalizations don't manifest every night, I am still rolling in the aisles from reviewing previous entries. What I am saying is, no pressure for Adam to "put out" every night--I'll take whatever you got!

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  41. Shirt this!

    I can't believe I actually used "shirt" as a verb.

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  42. Funniest blog I've found, absolutely priceless. Thank you for sharing Adam's 'talent' with the world.

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  43. Karen and Adam - what a great blog! i keep telling everyone i know about just to spread the hilarity around. Thanks for putting your time into this and making it open to anyone. Much love from Seattle!

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  44. Agreed! The Phone number one must be a shirt. It's brilliant.

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  45. you are my new favorite heros, yup...its been decided. -CM

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  46. Can we have this on a t-shirt please?????? In womens/sizes

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  47. 2many;
    the 2nd is a rehash of unreleased honeymoon output! not from the same nite.

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  48. Kerala Tour Packages and Package tour in South India

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  49. http://www.thekeralatours.com

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