Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20100323

Mar 23 2010

"Today is a good day. I like today. Today, I feel good. Today, I'm going to tell you, you're a cum stain and your presence in my life is nothing. Today is a good day."

"That goat's mad. Don't pick his beard. Don't pick his beard, I said! Ohhhh, now your ass is his."

"Noisy munchkins. Always making noise, those little buggers. Got to keep them under control. Use a hammer. Bash them on the head! Now they're quiet."

"Don't pick me last. No, please. Oh, you bastard! Now I'm not going to play... I know I'm sulking. You can fucking suck my fat one."

48 comments:

  1. HAHAHAHHA, these are great!

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  2. If Carlsberg made sleep talking men, then they would probably sound like this.

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  3. Thank you and your husband for being the second most important morning routine for me after coffee. Your consistency really impresses me, and I hope it will continue for some time to come. Personally I value your blog more then the £400/year I spend on newspapers subscriptions.

    Andreas

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  4. i thing u selfish..smite.

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  5. The noisy munchkins comment gave me a good laugh this morning. Reminded me of some of my days as a primary school teacher...but, don't worry, I never resorted to violence!

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  6. Holy chatter-bug last night!

    funny stuff.

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  7. OH YOU STUCK UP...STUCK UP !I KNOW.

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  8. haha do you get any sleep?

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  9. what did adam eat last night? Just asking because it seems like he is talking more?

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  10. Yet again, I'm amused beyond amusement at sleep-Adam's total arrogance. 'Tis a lesson to us all.

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  11. Love the sentiment in the being picked last thing. I was always picked last. Hated school. I refuse to play picking games now.

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  12. Arrogant, yes, but there's also a certain sense to his nightly ramblings. For example: it's true that one doesn't want to mess with a mad goat.

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  13. i was lucky, i was normally picked second to last. although the threat of being last was pretty painful.

    goats, although karen does love to kiss them, i don't fully trust them. they have funny eyes and i don't like the way they look at me.

    today is always a good day!

    adam

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  14. You truly have a gift. some people dream up beautiful songs, adam dreams up derogatory coffee mug sayings.

    Gavin from Oz

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  15. Adam - you and Karen might think your awake comments aren't as funny - but I am sitting here grinning like a fool over your comment about goat eyes and not trusting them!!!!!! THAT is toooooo funny!!!!!!!!

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  16. Oh! They were precious this morning! Thanks again!

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  17. My personal favorite of today is the goat one. I agree with Adam, their eyes do kind of freak me out!

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  18. Oh dear, my two year old is alarmed at mommy screaming hysterically in laughter...

    "Don't pick me last. No, please. Oh, you bastard!"

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  19. I'm seriously contemplating making that first one my daily mantra as I wake up and look in the mirror. I'm sensing some great stress relief potential here.

    This blog never fails to make me laugh! Whatever you fed Adam last night, keep it up.

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  20. Prof. ZzzMAN-ylizer23 March 2010 14:54

    Spring expectations, springing in awakenings and today is a glowing sunny morning just like Adam predicted keepin' in minus the other food for thought we'll just stash in our pocket for that wicked within to remember by and fuse with for 'possibiliity' moments and mindful for that gig pleasure - day or nite, anytime

    ohh STM was on a roll last night cheesumptioning the fridge...i suspect...

    munch, munch - the noisy bunch! crunchin 'n gunchin' hunched and punchin' away...just for their luncheon, They're really really quiet right now, since they found that chocolate liqueured eggn'hammer in grassy dreams...

    they're a bit bashed and head over heels on this stuff...but they're in a controlled environment hidden within the green spikey stuff, contented
    today...

    but, tomorrow tho...will see another day...
    a sequel to follow?...
    only enquiring minds want to know...

    Lotza gobblin' up today too...the goat, THE GOAT. eye that goat!...the go at it goat to not be gloating about or ellllllse, the goats gonna get ya, getcha good and now your ...gone...

    into the time tunnel of go-right-to-it-git inside for that goat cheese; please, no beard pulling necessary, havin' had an ass of a time retrieving the precious nutri-stuff http://www.northernprairiechevre.com/nutrition.html
    outcome for the delightful treasure in mind.kinda
    ...along with the other cheese.sensations on the palate

    it's...last but not least they say...well, another near last character it be too, so it challenges one to think, meditate, visualate, congregate thoughts and processes till finally it becomes

    ....Your :) Turn!....has it benefits...i think...it can turn one into a prof. of dream weary concoctions that make nonsense of sense and senibility...see what i mean...hahaha

    then again...if one picks me not last, but first direction to the opposite end of the spectrum...there is no time for thinking of fun games to play, thereby, not going to be able
    to play any games such or not, while sulking on a lolipop, the other waiting game...

    a big fat juicy wet kiss to boredom or a big fat wet juicy kiss to delight, sea.saw.wing to and fro...in the spirit of dreamation...

    it's a neverending storybook process to be u and me and glee to peashoot about over tea

    ...wee.eeeeeeeeeee
    off me rocker once more...(that was a song)...;)
    -yesterday once more :)

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  21. I've always kinda liked goats,at the farm, petting zoos, etc. But now I'll have to look more closely at their eyes to see if they're giving me funny looks! lol
    Thanks as always, Today is a Good Day!
    Sherri

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  22. is it just me or has he upped the quantity of egotistical statements and telling people to F off

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  23. I want to hear audio of the goat is mad

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  24. As Adam mentioned, I LOVE GOATS, and I plan for us to have a goat farm, so he'd better get used to those eyes. -Karen

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  25. "Today is a good day. I like today. Today, I feel good. Today, I'm going to tell you, you're a cum stain and your presence in my life is nothing. Today is a good day."

    The juxtaposition of sentiments in these sentences is just ... well ... mind boggling! :-p

    Adam never ceases to amaze!

    =^_^=

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  26. you can have your goat farm as long as i can have my pot bellied pig and a talking parrot. - adam

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  27. Hahaha. Best entry in a few days there, especially the goat one :-)

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  28. goats and their rectangular pupils and knobby knees. they ARE creeps. I believe sharks are the creeps of the sea, but goats may perhaps be the creeps of the land. my uncle used to own goats, I forgot some toy out where he'd let them walk around and it totally got chewed up. they made me feel awkward, always, I just felt the need to walk away. truetruetrue. I prefer bunnies.

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  29. These are great! But you're not slowly becoming too obsessed with wringing quotes out of him...right?

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  30. Canadian Top Cat23 March 2010 18:53

    Adam, I thought we establised the fact that pigs stink and are for bacon-y things only.

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  31. Pigs don't stink, but they will destroy everything if left to their own will. We had some, they dug the lawn up numerous times after cleverly escaping their run. Those delicate looking snozzles do a lot of damage! (Goats are perhaps not much better though!)

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  32. Parrots are evil creatures! They scare me...re-think the goat farm, Karen!

    Ok, seriously, the good day one made me spit my coffee all over my monitor. :D

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  33. Let us all know when you've goat cheese for sale.

    Those of us who read Heidi a few times too many in our younger days are likely buyers of a good goat cheese.

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  34. 2manywhiskers23 March 2010 22:00

    Goat cheese - feed him goat cheese!

    I love the goat one and goats, though I describe them as being like cats with hooves and horns so yeah, watch out. Weird eyes, that's true. I sent that one to my friends who have goats. Yes, would love the audio for "mad goat"!

    Goats, a pig and a talking parrot will make quite a Funny Farm. And ohboy, think of a talking parrot who learns all the best STM quotes. *That* would be priceless.

    NO pigs do not stink and are NOT for bacon-y things only!!

    Today is a Good Day! :) Thanks for the laughs.

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  35. SO need the audio of the goat one XDDD

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  36. My friend,, Very good blog and you very creative .. Ilike it !

    regards
    http://balibestjegeg.blogspot.com/

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  37. To continue what Lars06 said yesterday, found transcript & audio of an NPR show about the British Cheese Board study regarding dreams. Here's the link http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4851485
    (Personally, I'm all for Adam living his life & when he talks he talks and when he doesn't no worries. And found it interesting that talking isn't going on during dreaming. I'm learning things from this blog!)

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  38. Now there's an idea: let Adam have his parrot, and keep it in the bedroom at night. Then all day, the parrot will replay Sleep Talkin' Man's greatest moments.

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  39. that almost sounds like an awesome franchise option, talk about stress relief, have a parrot that calls people a piece of shit and tells them to f-off... boss being an ass today? listen to your parrot! in-laws driving you mad? listen to your parrot! pigs, zebras, elephants, or goats in your life? listen to the parrot! is there anything this parrot wont say? yeah, it probably wont complement you, and if it does, expect it to be a backhanded one! I would absolutely buy a parrot that talked like that! just a thought... :)

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  40. Today, is a good day xD

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  41. Oh man, the noisy munchkins one is kind of sad in a hilarious way! Today is a good day! :)

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  42. Based on Adam's previous statement that it is his pirate ship and his rules, he should get the talking parrot. After all, what is a pirate without a talking parrot?

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  43. Adam should get a stage show of his own. Just a bed on a stage and people paying to see the 7-10 hour long show full of comedy, drama and thriller. It would of course be R-rated.

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  44. I also would like audio of the goat one.

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  45. i was feeling down but then the first one really cheered me up!

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  46. If you can't fix it with a hammer, it's electrical.

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