"Listen to you? I'd rather listen to the sound of me sucking out the juices of a corpse through its anal sphincter. Harsh, but true."
or click here
"Hey, who put my elbows on backwards?! That's not fucking funny!"
"Yeah, take a gooood look. Keep looking. Makes you feel sooooo goooood."
"Damnit, I'm gonna be late. I've run out of nipple glue! Always at the worst times."
or click here
At this point, Adam rolled over, snuggled up, put his arm around me, and crooned:
"Arse chunder chunks."
And then, after a violent coughing fit:
"Mexican banditos!"
FIRST! And fucking amazing.
ReplyDeleteWow...I got first and I JUST discovered this. :D
ReplyDeleteAnd how are you awake to record and listen to all these, by the way?
ReplyDeleteAnonymous @8:15 - You'll find the answer to that, and many more questions in the FAQ. Here's the condensed version:
ReplyDelete"Once I realized that last one was happening, I knew something had to change. That's when I got our handy voice-activated recorder!
Now I press the pretty red button every night before we go to sleep, and go through it in the morning."
Exactly my thinking ...
ReplyDeleteWhen do you sleep yourself? During daytime?
I have a voice-activated recorder going every night, which takes the pressure off of me having to write it all down in the middle of the night. Even so, I do wake up every time Adam starts talking. The good news is, Adam's talking generally happens in one big chunk a night (occasionally two). For example, all that talking from last night was in one 15 minute period. So it's not as bad as it looks.
ReplyDeleteanal sphincter....heehee
ReplyDeletequality ones today
ReplyDeleteDamnit those are so funny I had to clench my jaw to stop from laughing in the office. Now I've got jaw ache! heh :)
ReplyDeleteI wonder what inspires the sleep talking version of Adam? Seems like there's more to it than he admits.
ReplyDeleteNot one big chunder chunk I hope.
ReplyDeletesometimes I try and imagine what "inspires" my sleeptalking. But most of the time I simply enjoy the laughter it gives karen and myself.
ReplyDeleteElbows one had me gigglin.
ReplyDeleteThe all at once thing makes sense to me, seems like he would only do it during REM, and we only have four or five REM periods a night, and usually only one really intense one.
Love the comments today! Kinda wish I'd done something like this, the only one I can remember being told was sitting up and shouting "NO PICTURES" before settling down again. To be fair, my girlfriend at the time broke up with me about two weeks after, so no chance to find out any more!
ReplyDeletei notice that..really !
ReplyDeleteGood stuff as always! love the higher pitched tones, crack me up almost every time!
ReplyDeleteNipple glue oh hahahahaha!!!!
ReplyDeleteMexican banditos ROTFL
Laws, I needed that this morning!
A brilliant post today! I laughed so hard! Thanks as always!
ReplyDeleteapparently there is such a thing as nipple glue. I was picturing a nippleless me. the thought gives me shivers.
ReplyDeleteOh my these are hilarious today :)
ReplyDeleteThere *is* nipple glue?! For pasties maybe? I dare not Google it at work..... lol
I always love the sing-song bits. "Harsh... but true!"
ReplyDeleteHilarious! I love the "Harsh but true" bit! And the chunder chunks - Awesome!
ReplyDeleteHilarious as always!! You never skip a beat in brightening my morning!!!
ReplyDeletePoor Karen--Arse Chunder Chunks? Let's hope that's not her new nickname!
ReplyDeleteaww baby arse chunder chunks, i love you!!
ReplyDeleteTry again, or I'll have to start coming up with nicknames for you!
ReplyDeleteI think this is the first time Adam has admitted something he said might have been a bit harsh hahaha
ReplyDeleteThe elbows on backwards might be kinda handy to scratch those itchy-itchies! lol
ReplyDeleteI think those higher-pitched, kind of soft sign-offs are just hilarious too!
Thanks for the giggles as always!
Do the both of you answer each other away from the home computer when questions are directed from one to another?
ReplyDeleteThe interaction is pretty funny with the jibes
between you two...healthy after coming between the three of yous ;)
I love the emotion in his voice with "always at the worst times."
ReplyDeleteThat nipple glue is so elusive...never have it when you need it...lol. Now that I see in these comments that there is such a thing as nipple glue, I'm afraid to google it and find out about it.
To Whom It May Concern, Happy Passover.
ReplyDeleteOOO I need the nipple glue post as a ring tone! I really do.
ReplyDeleteat the border, on the edge of yesterday...adam-sleeps, is yelling.."That's not fucking funny!" while wrestling being hancuffed by "?" for doing such unbelievable things no one could fathom during rem-ming it out loud and coughed his way
ReplyDeleteUp an'Adam --- soon-as-can-be for a nikname quelched in the nick-of-dime for a vile wordout
misconstrued as an affectionate sign of the times...Not...( no amt will do! to outlaw the outlaw in this territory mis-adventure of the sillykind )
for..."Yeah, take a gooood look. Keep looking. Makes you feel sooooo goooood."
"Damnit, I'm gonna be late. I've run out of nipple glue! Always at the worst times" to the officer in charge...that won't stick...that can't possibly be a crime...tho that wasn;t the true nature of the 'charge' really...it was the intent of 'thought' that counts in this account...
"Listen to you? I'd rather listen to the sound of me sucking out the juices of a corpse through its anal sphincter. Harsh, but true." was the 'threat' that took him to another level of subconscious bad deeds, that required a snugging arm to croon his way awake from becoming a violent coffin bandito of a gangsta in training to another conclusion ...tomorrow?, will see...no pastin' this puzzle together to make sense, of it-it, doesn't...just.anada.talltale analyzed from the pages of sleepintalk & talktosleep wierdness!...from...
2day's.totally.funky.shittie.crazy...stuffin.it.full.of.funny dreams.beaming out to <> u s <>
( as adam slowly cuffs-out thru his legs running away while they have turned their backs for a split-second, praying in the palms of his hands, - no one noticed )key or saw....
ohh stop!...
I feel ya Adam, I hate it when I run out of nipple glue! ROFLMAO!
ReplyDeleteany audio for the arse-chunder-chunks? To croon and say something like that... Hilarious! xD Frankly, if it were my husband, i'd kick him ^o^
ReplyDeleteSomeone really needs to invent that technology that will enable us to see the dreams of others! I /need/ to see the rich landscape that triggers Adam's commentary!
ReplyDeleteAnd of course I'd like to see my dog's dreams, too.
When I read the first, I just couldn't help but remember my father telling us, "That's grosser than a hickey on a hemorrhoid!"
ReplyDeleteRunning out of nipple glue... I hate that when that happens.
ReplyDeleteI love how he said "Harsh but true" made me laugh so hard!!!
ReplyDeleteBAHAHAHA... the choked up "always at the worst times!" had me rolling! Love it!
ReplyDeleteYuuuuuck! to that first one - I usually have visuals pop into my head when I read/listen and that one... But the tone is hilarious - totally reminds me of Count Rugen in The Princess Bride when he's interviewing Westley after torturing him.
ReplyDeleteThe elbows one made me giggle, too, and the cracking voice in "always at the words times" kills me!
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Hahahaha!!! These are my favs, I think... I laughed sooo hard. Is it sad that when my computer crashed last weekend, I was really upset that I couldn't read the updates on this site for a few days?
ReplyDeleteHey Adam & Karen,
ReplyDeleteI think it would be great/bad if the "Listen to you.. Harsh but true" one was a ring tone. I know a few people that I could put a caller id to. So how about it?
P.S. Just in the way you say "harsh but true" I've started saying it. Awesomeness!
This day was my bday. It was the first bday I have read the posts. As it happens, my husband and I had a fight this past weekend. I dedicate and plan to use #1 when next I speak to him or he dares to speak to me!
ReplyDeleteholy crap!..too freaking hysterical..keep em coming
ReplyDelete