Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)


Mar 4 2010

"Stand further away. You can't possibly appreciate my greatness this close up."

"I love my turtle... it's flippity flop flippers."


  1. Claire here:

    OMG, where does this ego come from??

    Another great slogan, hilarious. Surely a psychoanalyst would have a field day with Adam and his unconscious self, I would love to hear such a verdict.

  2. The sleeping ego just continues to grow ;-)

    Adam must also have a vast zoo of creatures in his sleep world?!?

  3. I love my turtle, too.

  4. You are in love with your own awesomeness...

  5. Awesome! funny as usual!

  6. I've dreamt of tortoise too this night...Now i'm scared.

  7. Turtles are awesome, it is good that Sleep Talkin' Man recognises that.

  8. Prof. ZzzMAN-ylizer4 March 2010 at 11:42

    its early riser this morn where turtles hide...

    i'd like to hear him TurtleTalk...that would be quite a slow-motional effort,

    but if Karen can manage to knock on his shell with her recorder from time to time he might answer the doobell of echos within with a. . .

    ' no one's home right now ' that he had luckily taped in his head ohso much earlier ago just for moments like this when his readership comes acalling him on a daily basis with Karen permission to do the dirty deedwork for us enjoyments with refresh -mints-

    (and he's caught on to find a way to hide and dream in peace)

    for he takes such pride in revelling into Himself he forgets to breath sometimes, that's why we are cautioned to step away from the plank to proceed with caution as Karen's is having heehaw-snorting'days badgertastically tickling his flippity flop flippers where other must "Stand further away."

    You can't possibly appreciate my greatness this close up sez dreamer,
    but Karen is the exception...

    . . . i heard thru the grapevine too, in the turtleworld, that designer turtled neckwear and even footwear is in the works, except its'
    gonna be a painfully slow process due to a turtle stampede they discovered...( who, already didn't appreciate that nearby
    chocolatier establishment )

    but they have to cross over to the otherside of the water to get it up and running and once until they disperse better can it come to fruition...

    but that'll take a millenium year in the making and they could use a round of drinks meantime with that concoction of frogwee,
    chicken soup, in Lots of fizzy cola bottles with poo stains from that sweet factory...

    all swirled and swizzle-sticked inside a talltale glass of sleepadams'stirred
    dreammix supreme with froth on top -;s "Enough with the cheese. Enough!"
    of it, in todays recipe...
    - better to "Put the lobster down.
    Put it down!" tooooo,

    - one can have a "Big pig. Massive oink. Little curly tail." if desired here,

    - But forewarned; someone even said
    "This fish has got big floppy lips.
    Floppy lips.
    Fishy kissy fishy kissy. Oop, took one
    on the mouth! Not nice."

    - can happen to anyone.

    - those were the options for hopscotchin'
    over here ...nnn'nevermind =}

  9. I wish i could come up with this ego stuff irl when i need to use it on someone.. its so good.

  10. "I love my turtle..."

    Of course STM must be talking about the Giant Gajumba!

  11. I am allowed to say that how lame this whole thing has become?

  12. "I am allowed to say that how lame this whole thing has become?"

    Of course! . . . But if its so lame why are you here?

  13. I don't think it's lame...I enjoy reading the newest musings of sleeping Adam. I agree with VonMalcolm...if it's so lame go to some other website.

  14. I know someone who calls their childs boy parts a "turtle" so this made an especially odd picture in my head lol!!

  15. I love these - always starts my day with a giggle! Thank goodness I don't talk in my sleep, there is NO telling what I would say!

  16. Am I the only one who has no idea what Prof. ZzzMAN-ylizer is talking about?

  17. Anonymous, I don't think ANYONE knows what Prof. ZzzMAN-ylizer is talking about. Other than himself, that is. :)

    I suspect some folks who visit this site have indulged in some..."mind-altering" substances from time to time. Perhaps the good Professor is one of them? ;)

  18. I want to hear the turtle one, it's so cute.

  19. I enjoy The Prof's rants. *shrug* they don't make sense like dollars make cents from time to time... but they are fun ^_^

  20. Prof. Zzz or whatever's incoherent rambling reponses most definitely seem to be drug induced. Anyhoo, turtles are pretty awesome. They're like dinosaurs.

  21. The first one from today, and the one about feeling awesomeness need to be on t-shirts!

  22. This one should be on a t-shirt with very small type:
    "Stand further away. You can't possibly appreciate my greatness this close up."

    Maybe the text can wrap around in the shape of a turtle or some other favorite figure of his, so that from far away you can't tell the line is formed by text.

  23. This comment has been removed by the author.

  24. HAhaha!! Great idea Sandra!

  25. I just discovered Cleverbot. I'm feeding it lines from Sleep Talkin' Man. Hopefully somebody will be really confused when it channels a bit of Adam.

  26. I don't even care if it's fake or real (I think it's probably real, but who knows?) I still think it's hilarious and worth the read. If he's acting, he's great it it. and if the lines are made up, they're funny as hell, so I'm for it ;)

  27. I agree with the previous post. Although is pretty obviously made up, they are still wicked lines.

    I'd like to believe it was real, but I'd like to believe in santa and fairies too! I presumed everyone knew it wasn't real.

    Still, good fun.

  28. Sleepy time Adam is sure full of himself, now isn't he?

    Love Sandra's T-shirt idea!

    I want a flippity flop flippered turtle. That's gotta be cute.

  29. we've definitely have established that Adam is not lacking in the self-love department!
    I am totally loving that first quote!

  30. Hope there's a book deal some day so we can have a physical collection of Adam's best, like today's first quote. Go, turtles! Go, amphibians!

  31. Petter 11:07 - I'm with you. Turtles are awesome.

    Von Malcolm 13:06 - ah, yes!!
    and 13:50 - ah, yes... :)

    Robyn 14:05 - I'd kind of forgotten the exact words after reading down the comment list and burst out laughing when I scrolled back up to see what you were seeing.

    Sandra 16:50 - LOL!!! Oh... SO funny!!

    Re substances... they aren't the only route to rabbit holes. :)

  32. Even the prof doesn't know what he's about. Alter Adam, however, is someone I would not care to meet in a dark alley...

    "Kick 'em!"

    "Squish 'em!"


  33. Prof. ZzzMAN-ylizer5 March 2010 at 00:15

    if Only ii&i Was!... on something would i even understand the extent sleepyadam can drive us to UNUSUAL than normal, humor episodes as humor is as humor does in a forest gump state of address...

    so, it's a funny thing when it gets on a roll...he's added so much subject line it's possibly a wonder one can get carried away i'm finding out too......

    wh :O =D ooops, mememememe bad again :P

    ( IC... a longy one up ahead...shield with palm to next post please...anytime now )

    - it seems i have fallen under this spell of running off at the finger tips...that's a yikadobebad.

    maybe this can explain this virus one can pick up; even unw!ttingly,as i somehow have caught,

    from hitting the send button to suppressing
    the achy breaky belly that turns our tummy from eating adams brains...

    he sends out sweet nothings, semisweet ones, sour ones, bittersweet ones even and peeps
    out ones that could be takin' in the wrong way...

    yes, adam is one of a kind...alterego and
    regular amigo...and we just - - -
    we-go forward straight ahead...silly is a silly be...(moi)...

    - looks like i just got it preeetty baaad...and taking an antidote of less is
    more or was that more is less, well,
    we'll see if my antibodies will put a halt to my runny fingers, since i need it sometimes for my runny nose, and eyeswipes (thankfully not as* wipe of other kind),

    - with no rest for the weary as the saying goes...we'll see what the dailys brings...just don't tempt us...Mr.SleepTalkin'RudeDudeMan...

    you've labeled us as true followers of the mindbender...luckily your style is approved by the good*health*Humor*Society to wellness ;) (:

    --->> i've discovered an off the mark
    history lesson below :

    { A tall tale is a story with unbelievable elements, related as if it were true and factual. Some such stories are exaggerations of actual events, fish stories ('the fish that got away') such as,
    "that fish was so big, why I tell ya', it nearly sank the boat when I pulled it in!" Other tall tales are completely fictional tales in a familiar setting, such as the American Old West or the beginning of the Industrial Age.
    Tall tales are often told so as to make the
    narrator seem to have been a part of the story.
    They are usually humorous or witty.
    The line between myth and tall tale is
    distinguished primarily by age; many myths exaggerate the exploits of their heroes,
    but in tall tales
    the exaggeration looms large, to the
    extent of becoming the whole of the story. }

    tata o'laddies, goin' :)
    " Butt cheeks ahoy! There she blows!"

  34. I am curious, like other previous commenters, about the Professor: I haven't read his stuff so far: I just don't want to work that hard on a blog, but I also wonder if I should read his diatribes (if that's what they are): I wonder if there is any humor there I am missing out on.

  35. I agree with Anonymous at 13:44, but also with VonMalcolm 13:50 and Anonymous 14:10.

    I think this blog has lost the original wonder and innocence of the early posts (duck on a swing and too many whiskers especially) which made me laugh out loud.

    So why do some of us stay?! For my part, I keep reading in the hopes of new gems just as perfect as the original ones. However, I can see that the new Sleep Talkin Man has a loyal following, and some of the new ones are still funny... I know, the whole point is that humour is individual...

  36. Prof. ZzzMAN-ylizer5 March 2010 at 02:39

    oh,hello VM...i do a lot of double duty and multitasking...while i (er...make that too much? if you get my drift...yes, you have ;) -- all depending on tubing lately and other things is easy to do for me here so - - -

    as one eye is up and the other i.eye.i. of a pirate is getting down with that funky stuff...the pasta plate of good food from around the world of thoughts and opinions...

    so as you sent me on a journey to the dictionary store in space ---cause i don't know what "diatribes" means...hold on a sec (oh, make that a whole minute) it's coming up it is tadaa...
    - - - it's shows a lengthy descrip sooo...

    the short version is:
    " a bitter or violent criticism or attack; denunciation "

    ...well, speaking for selflessness...IMHO...

    - i would say not bitter;.... than batter
    - non violent;................than violins :~]
    - critismzzz to a snorystoryend;......
    needs marked improved mend to the send button
    - attack;.................a bit whacked, not on crack!;) in a sane way would you beleive :)

    --------> my homework was cut out for me here:

    " Denunciation in the context of sentencing philosophy refers to the disapproval of an act by society that is expressed by the imposition of a sentence "

    i pleased guilty to sentencing myself to the tellytubby screen for i have; gone over and above - - - beyond and below - - -

    and now my eyes can't see anymore...i'll have to buy some pears of glasses cause i don't fit the normal kind available...

    that's horizonally-ear challenged...i really need the vertical-angular version for the comments box is boxing me in and i have completely forgotten the subject as it's been off topic...hohohohohoohoot

    but i do remember now what 2manywhiskers
    said at 2302...
    Petter 11:07 - I'm with you. Turtles are awesome.

    Von Malcolm 13:06 - ah, yes!!
    and 13:50 - ah, yes... :)

    Robyn 14:05 - I'd kind of forgotten the exact words after reading down the comment list and burst out laughing when I scrolled back up to see what you were seeing.

    Sandra 16:50 - LOL!!! Oh... SO funny!!

    AND i agree!

    Re substances... they aren't the only route to rabbit holes. :)

    and now that i'm hopped, skipped and jumped into a few , , , with my ears propped, and eyyes pO-Opped...i'll probably be tomorrow
    and dreamin' ..."Skipping to work makes everything better." :) oh, tortoise of FLO 9:44...

    - that my high - not sure if this answers your
    question, but i surely hope you don't fall into a rabbid hole of braindrain...this may be my diagnonsense. that will be $0.oo eggs please. turtle flavored. thankyou.

    ...oh'n funny never dies, its a a flower grows, blooms, wilts, it grows blooms and wilts again and the garden of laughter is in ones own mindseye that drifts along waffling to and fro 'n grow and grow...low.high.medium.repeat ;)

  37. Perhaps this blog has lost some of the magic when it is read every day. Take a few days off and come back to it and you might find it funny again!

  38. You know...there's no perfect to anything...and the early stages is an entity in itself in everything...

    if you look too hard, one tries to hard, if one let's it go with the flow, that's where most of us are intune to...

    everyday is a new day, create it than expect it, and having it will come naturally, unlike dependency of every kind, this ones free to be you and me and three;
    dog molly, snickering Karen and STM - sleep/Adam/wake ...he's the Man of the day...everyday as his home on this web =) that's been chosen to visit here, and a sight to see uniquely it's own.

  39. I would love that first one on a tee :D

  40. I just, for the first time, read Professor Z: less diatribe and more stream of consciousness?

    Adam's Sleep Talkin' quotes, whether dream induced or not, are unreal and nothing I could consistently come up with.

    Prof. Z's 'Stream of Consciousness' quotes, whether drug induced or not, are equally unreal (in a vastly different way) and nothing I could EVER come up with. I still do not know if they're funny or not! -They maybe out of my intellectual range (or sanity range! -JK).

  41. What's with this guy? He's got a huge ego!

  42. 2nd one some hard to say D:

  43. "flippity flop flippers"

    Is this a tongue twister or what? Surprised to know that he could sound it out in his sleep!