Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)


Mar 9 2010

We're back!

Adam and I had the most magical honeymoon volunteering at the Elephant Nature Park in northern Thailand for two weeks. It was all we could have possibly hoped for.

Our daily waking life at the park seemed to play a much bigger role in Adam's sleep talking than it does at home. So, for today's special sort-of-happy-to-be-back post, I've included a number of such musings.

"Oh, such wrinkly skin. And oh so hairy. Yeah, like grandmothers with trunks."

"I want an elephant race, with hurdles and everything... Watch them jump over ditches. And we can stick little dogs on top as jockeys. Doggie jockeys."
 or click here
Adam said this one, along with a few extremely rude insults, on a night that we were sleeping out in the jungle with 12 other people. We had hiked up into the mountain with 5 elephants, some volunteers and a number of thai workers. The other volunteers all missed hearing it (we were sleeping a bit away from them), but the thais right next to us certainly didn't.

The rest of the time, Adam and I had a hut in "The Palace," which is a raised structure comprised of 6 huts and 5 bathrooms, made mostly of bamboo and wood. Anytime anyone walked around, the entire structure shook with their footfall. I assume that explains this one:

"Stop bouncing the floor. Stop it, seriously, I need to pee. I need to pee and I can't pee in the toilet when you're bouncing the floor... Fuck you shit-for-brains, that's it, I'm gonna piss up and down your body every time you bounce... There we go."
 or click here
"What goes in one hole hot comes out the other hole hot. Burning fucking curry. Awesome stuff."

"Elephants with two arms!... Oh no, it's the tail."

"Fatal falling figs"
The Palace had been built around an enormous fig tree, which was left growing out of the middle of the structure. Lucky us, the tree happened to hang right above our hut's roof. So at night, when the wind kicked up, figs would thump onto the roof above our heads, then roll down, and thump again onto the floor outside (you can hear them in the last recording). This, along with the periodic howling of the park's 50 + dogs, did not always make for the most restful night's sleep.

Finally, for anyone who has ever shoveled elephant poo, this one needs no explanation:
"Totally green snowballs. Giant ones! They look wrong. They sound wrong when they hit you. And boy do they smell wrong."
If anyone out there wants to know about the park, we're happy to talk about our experience. By the way, we were told that a day-visitor at the park asked for us, but it was a couple of days before we arrived. If this is you, make yourself known to us!

We missed you guys, and as hard as it is to go back to real life, we're happy to be back on the blog.


  1. Absolutely hilarious. I can only imagine how your companions felt when they heard Adam randomly spout his sleeptalking musings. My fiancee same idea as you, btw. Her own attempt at humor is called "Conversations With a Sleeptalker, and can be viewed here:

  2. What an awesome holiday!!!

    Now I can't get the image of wee Doggie Jockies outta my mind!

  3. Glad you had such a good time and it obviously gave Adam's alter ego a few new things to talk about!

    Welcome home!


  4. This blogpost really made my day. Thank you!

  5. OH MY GOD! I am SO jealous? Was it the elephant park founded by Lek, the one I write about here:
    If so, how was the blind elephant? Doing well? I have only spent one day there but I am thinking about doing what you did, it is such an amazing park (if it is the same). And yes, want to hear more! Not that the sleep talking episodes aren't great too :-)

  6. dear ann-katrin,

    yes we did stay at the same park. i believe the elephant you are speaking of is jochia. she is doing really well and has her best friend mae perm at her side all day every day. she really is a true gentle giant. we have over a thousand photos and many videos of the elephants there as well as the two babies.

    please feel free to email us as so karen and i can share more of our experiences directly with you.

    take care and speak soon,


  7. Welcome back!! Every time I read these posts I wonder what the people in Adam's dreams reply to his comments. Who is the one jumping on the floor when Adam is trying to pee? What is their response to Adam asking them quit jumping? And why are they jumping in the first place? Or is Karen the one jumping? Oh, so many questions, but it doesn't make these posts any less fun to read.

  8. Welcome back! I'm glad you had a great trip, and caught some fantastic quotes.

    I have to ask: did you warn the other volunteers or the staff about Adam's sleep talking? I can just imagine their surprise if they were unaware.

  9. Prof. ZzzMAN-ylizer9 March 2010 at 10:55

    oh giggle-de-goop, more pooptoscoopon...welcome back both of've had quite the tale of 2 extremes and sleepyadam is at the tail end of his musings that again were very --- amusing to the palate in the
    "The Palace" of Dreams

    shit-for-brains; good one!...has a ring to it...

    and those falling figs sure sounded quite heavy duty like rocks for brains...hard on the noggin
    and Adam was onto something...
    could knock your socks off,
    (if you had any on =)
    in a fatalistically-dreamy kind of way

    amongst so many funnies to braintweezing on your journeys between continents

    he surely thumped his last stand on his disenchantment with the amenities
    he was faced with it seems...

    he has pee on the brain and pee weeing he must and poohooing the ... the elephant snowballs;
    all greenly things to a good deed for gardenssake, challenging in piles to heap; yet, if not to sing'n scoop away those smelly blues

    tho, do enjoy curry...then again, theres the butt
    hairy trunks, wrinkly skinny, now, he makes it all sound so intertwined ...kinda all unappetizing somehow...i wonder 'why' like NOT too hot to trot, from here

    except in adams playworld and it's back to the races, little doggies on giant ellies
    and a circus is born ...Thailand's first, one small leap to one giant leap for Adamkind.

    could your 'Palace' have been on shakey 'elevators,' on the verge of falling in another of the many rabbit holes feeling? like a bridge over water...that would be troublesome

    SleepAdaming his humanely night sounds of another variety echoing in the nightskies a dogs ear is like dogdiggitydeedoooOhhings in the night --- conversing together
    are something the Thai's are use to? somehow i'm thinking, maybe not, or they dare to say, adam?

    --- still glad you have shared your adventurous memnoirs with us to gloat about,
    without us non-doin' any down'ndirty icky stuffed in sleep and wideawake, it was a tightrope to
    a fun ride today. really!

  10. Oh- welcome home, dear people!!!!!!!!!!!!

  11. Sweet experience! Are you formulating your next great adventure already?: The Galapagos Islands, the Outback, swimming with the Giant Gajumba?

  12. welcome back
    lots of love

  13. Yippppeeee Your back! Wasn't the same without you. :)

  14. What a treasure trove of hilarity! "Burning fucking curry" and "Doggie Jockies" are my faves. Love it!

  15. "Oh, such wrinkly skin. And oh so hairy. Yeah, like grandmothers with trunks"--> it sounded so poetic and then I realized its a perfect haiku!

    Oh such wrink-ly skin
    and oh so hairy. Yeah like
    grandmothers with trunks

    I love this description of an elephant

  16. LOL piss up & down! Priceless!

  17. Love it Love it Love it.
    Elephants and racing.
    If the Doggie jockies are bulldogs you have all my fav things in sleep taking statement.

  18. Welcome home! How do you get any sleep with him yammering on all the time? Do you have a voice activated recorder?

  19. welcome back :) Glad you had a lovely time! I could hear the insects in the background on one of the recordings!! sounds like the crickets we have :) I am envious though I LOVE elephants- but yes...their poo SMELLS awful :D

  20. doggie jockies, elephants jumping over hurdles.
    what a day at the races that would be.
    Just need to know one thing would they be wearing a thong???? lol :) xxxx
    love it

  21. 'Shit for brains' was a nickname given to me by my rather unorthodox grandfather - wet myself reading that!
    Glad you had fun and did think that the surrounds would have an impact on the mussings!
    Go elephant racing - they do have elephant polo after all!

  22. The floor bouncing comments are my favourite audio yet.

    Thank you so much for sharing. Your blog brings me a smile daily.

  23. So glad you guys are back! Thanks for all of your work making sure that we had our daily fix while you were gone! It was GREATLY appreciated!!

  24. good to be back, in a way. nothing like a morning spent on the london underground to bring reality crashing home!

    cheryl s, yes we do have a voice activated recorder, a godsend for karen and a rather strange addition to the headboard at night!

  25. Welcome back Adam & Karen! Glad to hear you had a great time. I love today's postings! It was really cool to have the background info for the background noises..... I'd love to hear more about your trip! Will be sending an e-mail soon..... :)

  26. Welcome back!
    Glad you had a good time and brought back some elephantine musings for us!
    Thank you for leaving us with some true gems while you were away!
    I think "Fatal Falling Figs" may be my new exclamation of frustration! Love it!
    Would soo love to see pics and hear more about your adventures!
    Take care,

  27. "nothing like a morning spent on the london underground to bring reality crashing home!" This has to be my best laugh of the day, Adam! (although doggy jockeys, grandmothers with trunks, and fatal falling figs are pretty good, too!)I am just preparing to fly to London and spend lots of time on the Tube and can hardly wait. However, as a regular diet, I can imagine that it isn't quite so much fun!

  28. Welcome home!
    Glad you had a glorious time.

  29. Welcome home, Adam and Karen! It's so nice to have you back. We tried to take care of the place while you were gone. :) Great quotes, by the way!

  30. Welcome back, Adam and Karen! Great you had a fantastic trip!

  31. Welcome back. You have been missed.

    I would also love to hear all about your adventures with Elephants in more detail. Why not post on the blog? You can label it as a daytime entry and we readers can enjoy or skip as we please.

  32. Can't wait to see the shirts!

    Glad you had a great time.

  33. It'd be great if you guys wanted to tell us more about the honeymoon, it sounds interesting :-)

  34. Just to clarify one thing... when Adam was peeing up and down the person everytime he bounced, he didnt enact this in real life did he?

  35. welcome back! this post was a joy to behold and listen to. :)

  36. Fatal falling figs...... just be glad they weren't durians. 7@=Q

    Anyway, glad to have you back!

  37. Please, somebody who can draw, draw an elephant jumping a hurdle with a doggie jockey and get it on to a T-shirt! That's awesome!

  38. I actually just might draw those doggie jockeys and elephants. As far as breaking artist's block, your hilarious quotes do it every time :)

  39. welcome back. bouncing... that is funny.

  40. Just to echo everyone, Welcome back! What an awesome idea for a honeymoon.

  41. so glad to have you back! you've been missed.

  42. Oh, I so miss Thailand. :) Spent three months there a year or so ago. The most magical country. Amazing people.

    Sawatdee kha!

  43. Welcome back! Doing calculus homework and feeling rather glum until I read this- made my night!

  44. I say that if you can get the doggies in little jockey uniforms, elephant race on!

  45. Haha! only today i found out that elephants can't jump :(

  46. Welcome back, Karen and Adam! And what a wonderful burst of STM with extras!

    Maybe among those doggie jockeys there will be a superstar. I love "fatal falling figs." Yeah, Sherri, that might be my new favorite frustration venter. :) In the peeing one it sounds, right at the end, like he's letting loose. yikes. I LOVE the elephant haiku.

    And I'm getting a huge kick out of imagining what the folks who overheard Adam on the mountain went home and told their families! Funny, funny.

    The "Palace" built around the giant fig tree sounds incredible (in spite of night-time thunking). And how incredibly cool that Ann-Katrin knew one of the elephants you met.

    Thanks as always for the laughter and fun! It's so nice to have you back. You were missed. Please write more here of your magical adventure!

  47. "Burning fucking curry."

    Couldn't have said it better myself.

  48. As long as the doggy jockies aren't pink dogs-- not only are pink dogs shites, but they would blend in with the pink elephants!

  49. NewMexicanAnnie10 March 2010 at 11:00

    I'm surprised nobody mentioned the green snowballs. That was hilarious!!!!!!!!!

  50. Welcome back! Glad to have you posting again in "real-time" :)

  51. Did you end up taking the recorder with you on your trip?

    Welcome back. I love your website.

    Do tell us more of your trip, maybe even post some photos!


  52. So when he was asking them to stop bouncing or he was going to pee did he actually pee himself in the end????

  53. I am so glad you both made it home safe. What a wonderful Time!!!!!!! Do you have a place where you post pictures? Would love to see the pictures!!!!

  54. we have over 1000 pictures to go through and i am sure we will post them somewhere for people to see, plus quite a few videos as well. i cannot begin to tell you what a magnificent, amazing and magical time we had at the ELEPHANT NATURE PARK.

    Yes we did take the recorder with us. it never leaves karen's side. not the kind of thing you would expect to include in your 'must-have' list of items for honeymoon!

  55. The way dreaming Adam reacted to the figs dropping in the second sound clip is just hilarious.

    "I need to pee and I can't pee in the toilet when you're bouncing on the fl-"
    *BUMP* *BUMP*
    "...Fuck you, shit-for-brains, that's it!"

  56. I'm too glad you'r back! I missed your comments :)

  57. i stayed at the elephant park a few years ago.. all sounds beautifully familiar. such a wonderful place, for me it was an amazing end to 4 months in thailand. those dogs don't half bark though. i saw fireflies for the first time there, i was amazed. glad you enjoyed it.

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  59. "What goes in one hole hot comes out the other hole hot. Burning fucking curry. Awesome stuff."

    This quote defines me and my housemates...unfortunately.

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