Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20100417

Apr 17 2010

"Garlic cheese! Double death to you, you lactose intolerant vamp man!"

 or click here
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Karen's note: Get it? Double death! 1) Cheese (lactose intolerant), and 2) Garlic (vampire man)! Ok, I needed Adam to spell it out for me this morning.

Shameless merch plug: Finally got the new shirts, mugs, and mousepads in! I had to include "Beware the werepig" at the last moment. Still need to get the UK shirt shop up-to-date.

Audio update: I'm still working out the best way to put up audio. I'm testing some players on the FAQ page. If you want to help, go over there and let me know which ones are working for you.

53 comments:

  1. thanks for your blog...
    audio works for me,pc+ firefox

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  2. lol my house mates stole my food last night, I wish it had been garlic cheese and they were lactose intolerant vamp men... but they are just food stealing students );

    pc and firefox, audio works brilliant

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  3. Mmm.... garlic cheese sounds delicious to me!

    Has Adam met any Finns lately? A surprisingly large percentage of the population is lactose intolerant, and many Finns also seem to an aversion to garlic (to the point that our work cafeteria puts warning labels on dishes that contain garlic).

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  4. ^What? I'm a Finn and I don't know anyone who doesn't like garlic! We love it!

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  5. I use firefox and the only one's that didn't work for me were 4 and 6. #4 just had a large gray box that had an X on it. #6 just wouldn't play.

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  6. Numbers 3,4,& 5 work on the iPhone. Love the blog, but I've been missing out on the audio. I don't usually check on STM from a laptop or PC... ;-)

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  7. Funny, funny as always!
    When I tried to play the audio for this one it would only save a copy to my hard drive - would not just open/play - I am using internet explorer.
    Thanks again for the daily laughs and your hard work! :)

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  8. Okay - on second try it did work - love it!

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  9. you actually need to make werepig.ogg, for the audio player 4 to work on firefox :p

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  10. 6 fails to work becuase you forgot the mp3 url

    http://www.google.com/reader/ui/3247397568-audio-player.swf?audioUrl=MP3_URL

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  11. Loving "Double Death", it's actually quite tame of Sleep Talkin' Man!

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  12. I have internet explorer...on the faqs page, #2 and #4 do NOT work, the rest are fine.

    Love the "double death" concept! I wish we could see animations of what was going on in Adam's head, hahaha.

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  13. Karen- all work for me except #6. I am using Firefox 3.0 with a Linux OS (Ubuntu 8.04). Hope this helps!! :)

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  14. Karen- all work for me except #6. I am using Firefox 3.0 with a Linux OS (Ubuntu 8.04). Hope this helps :)

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  15. Mac & Safari: All work except #6. #3 and #7 are the least obtrusive; i don't like the first one, because it leaves a window open i have to manually close (i've enough windows open already!). Thank you *so* much!

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  16. it won't play for me, and I can't leave a comment on the FAQ page cos I don't have an account.

    1, 2, 6 & 7 work for me, I have Firefox and am using a PC

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  17. 1, 2 and 7 works. Using Opera on Win7 64bit. I prefered 2.

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  18. Garlic and cheese are two of the best things in the world... Being a lactose intolerant vampire would make me want to end it...

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  19. with firefox doesnt work! the old player was working fine :p wont instal apple shit :p

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  20. The audio you posted this morning works on iPhone, which is a first.

    Awesome as always too by the way! :-)

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  21. I'm on firefox and it won't work. :( But this still makes me smile as always.

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  22. 1,2,6,7 all work for firefox. I hope this helps. You guys are my morning ritual. :D

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  23. 6 and 7 work for a WinXP Pro with IE 8.0.

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  24. i totally got it.

    on the audio samples... using firefox, 4 & 6 didn't work.
    in IE 2 & 4 didn't work. the others were all fine.
    i miss the audio bits on the menu!

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  25. LOL - I totally got it too - how hilarious! I wonder what the heck a lactose intolerant vampire looks like. Wish we had STM's dream visuals to go with the fabulous audios. :) :)

    1,2,3,5,7 worked for me on a PC with WinXP Pro using Firefox. 4 is a gray rectangular box with an X on it; can see 6 but it doesn't work.

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  26. Prof. ZzzMAN-ylizer17 April 2010 at 17:00

    ...on a garlic day (bizarrrily-unique-nationally alway April 19th) you can't see forever especially for a vampy with gastrointestinal conditions or regurgitation, not so red or rosy to be around...in a doubled over attack; on oneself for that matter, it's deathly painful to some and notso for others, yet one must still say chi...ch-e-e-ese in order to keep up with jones on ones daily meal of survival...

    a situation to milk it for all it's worth...symptomatically and systematically feeding on the life essence, bloodywell of living creatures, dead or alive 1897, Bram. . .drats weredraculas roam. . .the horror!

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  27. 4ever =O) laughter17 April 2010 at 17:11

    you mean, watch our for this MONDAY?
    Vampire penguins will be all the rage on humanity?!!

    got milk on hand.heehee.

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  28. I love the audio player you have up now :)
    it works on my iPod! I can finally bring STM with me! :)

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  29. On the audio "test" 1,3,5 &6 worked using internet exporer - the current audio page works well too - just takes a couple of minutes to load. Hope this helps.

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  30. 1,3,5,6&7 work fine on IE. 2&4 show the pause button and clicking on it shows play but it doesn't actually play.

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  31. 3, 4 and 5 work on the iPad. 1 opens the player, but doesn't play. 6 works, but not a fan of opening a new page. 2 and 7 don't show up at all. STM rules!

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  32. all the audio works for me but today the site took a less than badgertastic age and a half to open. :( that was, in my opinion, the result of the result of the adobe flashplayer 10 plug-in. sometimes adobe just likes being a prat.

    i'm running firefox 3.6.3 on windows xp pro (fyi).

    p.s. i totally taught all my spell-checkers "badgertastic" so now they don't bother me by saying "hey, that's not a word". :)

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  33. First I want to thank you for allowing us a peek into your lives! I share the Adamisms with my friends all the time. Your blog is the first thing I go to when I get up. As to the players, 1,2,3 and 7 work great. 4 is a big box with a big X in it, no controls showing at all. 5 hangs up midway and starts to garble for me. 6 won't play at all. I am using Firefox/Windows Vista. Again, thanks so much for the chuckles.

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  34. Well.. knowing he doesn't remember anything, it's good to know that at least he understands his own joke :-P

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  35. I swear I wish I was half as witty in my waking hours as Adam is in his sleep. BTW, when I looked at the site today, EVERY audio-player started playing at once. It was a barrage of STM!!! Using Google Chrome 5.0 on Windows Vista

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  36. im using google chrome. and as soon as i enter the website, all the sounds of adam are working at the same time. its kinda scary.

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  37. Hi Karen

    love the blog as always. Just wondering with the tshirts can u also stock them in childrens sizes( the women sizes are too big for me)

    thanks
    Sally:)

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  38. (sound explosioning happens when each bite is not closed or paused while in playmode...eg:try youtube together and will see this 'orchestra' in sync.)

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  39. If you had the experience of all the audio playing when you opened the page, please email me, so I can use you as a tester!

    -Karen

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  40. I am personally most fond of #7 for Firefox. Thanks Karen, your posts always make my day.

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  41. 4+6 don't work in Firefox 3.6.3 (Win XP SP3) + Ubuntu 8.10

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  42. I'm using Chrome and all the audio types work fine for me.

    Double death is genius not to mention. I would expect that from a professional comedian. Maybe Adam could be a comedian who writes his material in his sleep (that would also make a good joke)

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  43. Adam seems to hav dreams on mythological creatures (most made up) such as vampire penguins, zombies (many dif zombie animals), werepigs and now lactose intolerant vampires. This shows Adam has a very wild imagination. I'm surely glad Karen has been able to share all of this with us.

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  44. (I really like the 2nd audio option on this post -- easy interface to work with!)

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  45. all but 6 work, im on a mac, using safari

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  46. Anonymous Finn: perhaps you're young. A lot of older Finns I know carefully avoid anything that contains spices, most notably garlic and chili. The younger generations don't seem to have the same culinary hangups.

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  47. Hey, hard cheeses don't contain much lactose anymore, something either splits it up or eats it during the aging process, thus no problem for those of us with low lactase levels. Don't try a hard cheese on a lacintvamp!

    You crazy milk drinkers are mutants, by the way. They're now thinking of labeling _you_ as the freaks, calling what you have "lactase persistence" (only about 25% of the world's adult population can digest lactose with few digestive issues).

    But back to cheese for people without lactase persistence: Look for the amount of carbohydrates in your cheese of choice, since lactose is the only carbohydrate in cheese. If it says 0.0 - 0.5%, you should be fine unless your lactose intolerance is really bad. I can eat cheese with around 1% of lactose, no issues.

    But cottage cheese with garlic? Deadly.

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  48. My husband was born in Transilvania. These types of jokes never get old. Fantastic one to add to the collection!

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  49. As someone who is both allergic to cheese and garlic... egad!

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  50. Prof. ZzzMAN-ylizer... get a job. And a life.

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  51. Ahaaha, the poor lactose-intolerant vamp man.

    Mac + Safari = audio working fine for me. :)

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