Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20100407

Apr 7 2010

"It's growling. Shhh, it's growling closer... It's an angry thing, a big angry thing. It likes cabbage, though... I can't stop it growling! Shhh... You're not much fucking help."

 or click here
(yelled out suddenly, into the dead silence): "SOAPY FUCKING TIT WANK!.... That'll teach him."
 or click here
__________

Karen's notes: Sleep Talkin' Man must be getting depressed. He didn't make a peep last night. So these are from the honeymoon stock.

These were both from the same night. It was the beginning of the second week, a new set of volunteers had just arrived, and a lovely older Australian couple had moved into the hut next to ours. The walls are just bamboo, so you can hear EVERYTHING. I was mortified.

Unrelated point: Remember how I mentioned my brother's show in Boston a few days ago? Well, I'll be in attendance Saturday night with my ENTIRE FAMILY, so if any of you are there, please come find me and say hello!

54 comments:

  1. love the rythm of the soapy fucking tit wank one.

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  2. Your brother's show sounds very interesting. Unfortunately I'm stuck here in Blighty. Good luck though!

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  3. I needed this dose of humor today, thank you!

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  4. I laughed so hard at that last one. Can we get audio for that one?

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  5. Honestly Adam's talking makes my day, best part of my morning is having my coffee and readign sleeptalkin man.

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  6. LOL, but what is IT???

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  7. Cool. The first one is even better with audio. Thanks for adding it. The voice-interpretation makes it 10-times funnier. :o)

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  8. I'm bummed. I can't make the show. :( Break a leg!

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  9. 'you're not much fucking help' HAHAHA...
    By any chance, do elephants like cabbage? :-P

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  10. let's face it erika, if it's green they'll eat it!

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  11. I'm going to be at the show! It sounds like an amazing time ("punk cabaret fairy tale sans fairies?" don't mind if I do!), and I will definitely say hello. :)

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  12. I love the sing song part... "it likes cabbage, though..." LOL!!

    Have a great time Karen!

    And come on STM, what kind of id are your anyway? Buck up! Karen will be back! You can do it!

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  13. Karen--I guess you are the artist's inspiration.

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  14. "Sleep talking man" makes my day! Every day!
    Love you guys!!

    "The Swede"

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  15. love the sudden urgent whisper - "Shhh! It's growling CLOSER...!... it's an angry thing."

    Thank God for STM :)

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  16. I am fearful of said big angry thing, but delighted it is so easily swayed by cabbage.

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  17. Prof. ZzzMAN-ylizer7 April 2010 20:40

    The Entity of IT!....
    "SOAPY FUCKING TIT WANKies!"....
    it, it, IT.
    an investigative assignment to track IT down:

    maybe....it cud be-an itty bitty ITty diddy
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eo2OIUpWznY&feature=related

    maybe....it cud be a string bikini
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6VHHCrU1sI

    or was IT really BerNARD awwstral'in under the honey Moooon?...i'm a G...B...!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YXFdu8AhNc&feature=related

    'n it's not angry at'all...it's just growling hungry...cabbaga.babbage, golden and green...It's an angry thing, a big angry thing. though...
    "don't stand so close to me" stingingly saying,
    I can't stop it growling! Shhh-shhh-shhh, tummy...shhhhhhhhh.

    That'll teach 'em to take stock for last night ...volunteering to take wind of my 'situation' so you can hear EVERYTHING (when 'no one is around, oh, Karen)

    The walls are just bamboozed with sound effects...
    (shit, it's a shitty bitty, makin' me giddgety) the story of IT and therefore a time to end over end ! IT ! brrrrr.p. excuuuuuse me...
    :( into the dead silence now, decompressing to a
    windownday hut,hut,hut ):

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMKZpCT2Fk0
    ...yelled out suddenly, it!... is just noise. peeps.out

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  18. Am I the only one who thinks that reading prof zzzman's posts is like speaking to the mad hatter? Sorry zzzman!

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  19. soapy tit wank? amazing! i wrote to you guys an email and im not sure if you've read it but uranus, is getting ready to move out of pisces and into aries.. adam is a pisces so uranus has been in conjunction with his sun for the last few months, weeks and probably a few years.. google it. it may help give you some insight. uranus makes for sudden changes and erratic behavior.

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  20. i think prof z man is cool. if z man wanted to, he could use that gift for some serious poetry ramblings that will boggle the minds of millions. cheers mate! here's to poetry!

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  21. I read Sleep Talkin' Man everyday and love it. I am from Boston. Wish I could go to your brother's show, but unfortunately I am busy Saturday night. Please wish your brother luck for me :)

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  22. the audio of the first one is HILARIOUS. I replayed it several times.

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  23. No no no. Don't get me wrong. I don't have anything against zzzman!

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  24. Anon: 22:12 uranus makes for sudden changes and erratic behavior...

    yes, yes it can. especially after too much cabbage ;)

    could explain why IT is a growling, angry thing.

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  25. I love this site. My husband pointed it out to me a suggested I create my own site. He makes fun of me all the time for the things I say, awake. I actually started a journal jotting down the random things I find myself saying. Just yesterday my cat was being mischievous and I told him, "Bad Kitty, Bad. I mail you to China!" (He was pulling packaging material out of a mailing box)

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  26. Anon at 22:12: Sorry, but in the context of this blog, ANYTHING with 'uranus' in it is bound to sound silly....... 7@=Q

    (retreats hastily under a barrage of coleslaw......)

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  27. I'm in Boston! But can't go to the show. Come visit Saugus (10 miles north of the city) we've got the best donuts in the country according to Bon Appetit Magazine (and others) at Kanes Donuts on Lincoln Ave. (They are wayyyy good). Thanks Karen and Adam for making my morning! I save my visit to your webpage each day for when I really need a laugh, and you always deliver. Have fun at the show, it sounds like a great time!!!

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  28. I keep thinking I must have met SleepTalkingMan some point in my life, as I keep saying remarkably similar things. "Soapy Tit Wanks" is one of my favourite swear phrases!

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  29. Laughing my ass off! That was too funny! (finally got audio to show up on my screen grrr).

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  30. I wish when I talked in my sleep it was this entertaining.

    I just run through my to do list or have proper conversation which is really bad as people think I'm awake since my eyes are open and I look right at them. Used to freak my flatmate out so bad at first.

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  31. Karen- Love it. What a funny little man you have!

    Foxyann449- hahahaha. Mail kitty to china. Please start a blog so I can add my idiot wake thoughts :)

    Cheers

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  32. SO funny!

    I have a technical question for you (just for curiosity sake). You say you use a voice-activated recorder, right? I would anticipate that the first syllable (or even just letter) would be cut off as there's got to be a delay between when Adam starts speaking and when it picks up recording. Here it seems that there's even a second or so before Adam kicks in. How's that work?

    ~From a techy-geek who's curious! :)

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  33. SO funny!

    I have a technical question for you (just for curiosity sake). You say you use a voice-activated recorder, right? I would anticipate that the first syllable (or even just letter) would be cut off as there's got to be a delay between when Adam starts speaking and when it picks up recording. Here it seems that there's even a second or so before Adam kicks in. How's that work?

    ~From a techy-geek who's curious! :)

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  34. whoops! Apparently I'm not THAT much of a techy-geek, as I can't even seem to post comments properly! Sorry for the double! :)

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  35. Your brother just needs to do another show, as I'm moving to Massachusetts, but won't be there in time for that one, darn it.

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  36. Hillary - I think they have addressed your question in previous posts - usually Adam mumbles or makes other noises a few seconds before he starts talking, which activates the recorder. They also have the recorder set on really high sensitivity so it doesn't miss anything.

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  37. Prof. ZzzMAN-ylizer8 April 2010 03:00

    late in the day now, manning.it in and out, to and fro, upside the downside, thiside no, thatside and all around the town side...
    maddly into funnies as we are...

    puttin' in that 2cents worth again, anytime of day, we're at play here in the celestial orbit of superSTMing it, blame it on the sleepymeister, especially from the world of landed-wonder in fingertalking
    ...commenta.communicational.istically,
    fragilistically.un.expli.alidotiously...
    ( poppin'Mary anytime...it's rainin smiles fo'cats'ndogz for miles )

    my goodness. time for bed. hat in tow.
    boogieyed down to serious busyness. sleep101.

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  38. 2manywhiskers8 April 2010 03:13

    I don't know which is funnier to me - the quotes or imagining the couple in the hut next door overhearing them!!

    I hope lots of STM fans make it to the show, Karen - too bad you couldn't do a special STM night and have a whole audience full of fans! What a blast that would be.

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  39. 4ever =O) laughter8 April 2010 03:32

    Yes, that would be a fan-tastic idea...an audience of raving fans to an All in the Family crackup-in-stitches whimsical variety show --- unlike any other, all interwoven in brotherlylove and laughs.

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  40. NewMexicanAnnie8 April 2010 05:13

    I'm with you on that one, 2ManyWhiskers!!!!! I wonder if Adam spoke loud enough so that the Australians heard?

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  41. Anonymous @22:12 "uranus makes for sudden changes and erratic behavior."

    That's what she said! (Works better if you use the American pronunciation of Uranus.)

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  42. @Hillary: I asked almost the same question a little while back. Karen answered that Adam usually makes some noises like "yeah" and "uh" before he starts talking, so those trip the recorder.

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  43. "that's what she said"... LOVE IT!

    and yes, i am a grunter it would seem.

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  44. It's getting a bit far fetched now. When you start re-quoting other people, the facade fails. What a shame this is all made up.

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  45. Haha I loved these.

    It seems like Adam talks more when things are peaceful and stuff. When you two first got together, he didn't sleep talk, did he? And wasn't everything all chaotic and stuff? And then 18 years late, after things had calmed down, he starts talking. Now with all this fame, maybe he's getting quiet again. Its a negative feedback loop!

    I'd be interested to see an EEG scan of Adam's brain waves as he sleep talks. If he did in fact speak during REM sleep, when dreams occur, then he shouldn't be able to move because of REM atonia. And if he is in fact able to move, even if its just his mouth, then he could develop REM Behavior Disorder. And that wouldn't be good. Then again, I'm not an expert on this subject so I don't know for sure...

    Anyways, great job on the blog and keep the laughs coming!

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  46. I'd love to get the audio for the first one, I'd chop it up and have 'it likes cabbage' as my message alert on my phone. :D

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  47. OMG I talk in my sleep too! I wonder what I say. That is hilarious. Not sure if I'd want to be recorded or not but maybe...

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  48. Soapy Tit Wank ... a phrase used by Sid the Sexist of Viz fame back in the 1980's

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  49. I love the way he says "it likes cabbage though" so sweetly

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  51. i think stm has ears to hear ... me too!
    p. sofia

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  52. did hear the china break when they fell

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