Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)


Sep 17 2010

"Avert thine eyes! You're not hot enough to be looking at me."

 or click here
"You know what? Your penis is too small for your ego."
 or click here
"Don't worry about the hippos. They're just big bath babies. No. You gotta watch out for the gerbils. They'll really fuck you up."
 or click here

And then Adam fell out of bed:

 or click here


  1. I love the rauckus laugh you let go of when he finally says 'Let it out'. That made me giggle...thanks.

  2. How long did poor Adam lay there on there ground trying to figure out how he got there?!?! Poor Adam, it's a sad sad day when your subconscious decides to eject you from your nice warm comfy bed.

  3. Utterly friggin hilarious.... Kudos to you, Karen, for successfully stifling your laughter for as long as you did. I can't say I could have. In fact...I didn't. As soon as I heard him say "you pushed me" I lost it.

    Thanks so much for sharing this with us. I faithfully check your site every single day. You guys can really turn a sour day around.

    Oh. And I'm glad he's ok. :P

    Tami in Texas

  4. That was the best ever... especially when he asked if you pushed him, hahahaha!!

    great job holding in your laughter by the way! :)

  5. Of course she pushed him. She left out a very bad comment STM must have made prior to his wake up push. Seriously, if he's punching things in waking himself up, that kind of restlessness is bound to happen too. I'll be using the first comment at work now...a lot!

  6. My favorite part was "the floor hit me!"

  7. That was the best.
    "Let it out."

  8. Terribly sorry Adam, but we're all laughing at you. :D

  9. I would not have been able to restrain my laughter for as long as you did. Kudos to you.

  10. thanks guys
    i bet there is big laugh world wide blog readers...
    and "gemar hatima tova" to you

  11. No, Adam, the floor did not hit you! You hit the floor! The floor was just minding it own business, being firm, and horizontal, when all of a sudden, THUMP! And there you were!

    It is so easy to blame the furniture and the fixtures when one runs afoul of them, but when have they ever moved against us?

    Alright, alright! When outside of the State of California, USA, have they ever moved against us?

  12. I cannot begin to tell you how much I live "YOur penis is too small for your ego" OMG. THE.BEST.QUOTE.EVER!!!!!

  13. I lost it as soon as I heard "Oh!" and THUMP! No way I could have held my laughter back! Like I always tell my boyfriend, "I'm not laughing at YOU, I'm laughing at what happened to you!" :)

    Cat in Illinois

  14. hope the floor wasn't hurt to bad. bad STM for hurting a nice hard wooden floor!!!! BAD!!!

  15. I have to agree. There is no way I'd not be able to laugh hysterically as soon as I heard the 'thump.' You did very well, Karen!

    Also, 'Your penis is too small for your ego' is the BEST quote EVER. That needs to go on something. Lots of things.

    Thank-you as always, for the best morning laugh!

  16. The floor hit me...quite hard. LMAO! Poor Adam.

  17. "The floor hit me... quite hard." LOL!!!

  18. I agree... favorite part... "The floor hit me".

  19. "I can feel it in your chest. Go ahead, let it out." Hysterical.

  20. Hilarious stuff.
    How can you not laugh at Adam, he's delightful.

    who knew that he knew my ex husband (STM#2)

    Thanks for the good morning laugh.

  21. I can't believe no one has commented on the "I'm so far away from you! It's not right!" comment. Even while groggy from just waking up and in pain from hitting the floor this guy is a romantic. lol.

    I also love the anguish in his voice when he asks how he got on the floor.

    Totally going to use "Avert thine eyes! You're not hot enough to be looking at me." sometime today!

  22. How sweet of you to try not to laugh, and how sweet of Adam to tell you "...Let it out." I don't know how you held it in in the first place. SO FUNNY!! - Tammy, Caledon ON Canada

  23. "The floor hit me!" ROFLOL

  24. Every single thing in this post is hysterical!!!!!!!

  25. The part about the gerbils vaguely reminds me of Monty Python. LOL

  26. I think that first quote needs to be on a t-shirt. I don't know that I'd be brave enough to wear it out of the house, but I do want to own them. It'd make an awesome pajama top and still be totally appropriate to the situation.

  27. Wow. I just cried/laughed for at least 5 minutes... Thanks for falling out of bed Adam. I totally needed that!

  28. "Adam, are you hurt?" "I don't now give me a second... hm."

    Sounds like if you had left him there at that point, he would have gone right back to sleep.

  29. Poor Adam... But that was one of the funniest things I've heard in a long time... haha

  30. I love "Avert thine eyes! You're not hot enough to be looking at me." I think it would be a great shirt or mug!

  31. The floor hit me


  32. I know so many people the second line could apply to...!

  33. Avert thine eyes is t-shirt material!

  34. I have tears running down my face from laughing at Adam!!

  35. They way Adam/STM likes to snooze, I thought he was going to take a nap on the floor.

  36. Prof. ZzzMAN-ylizer17 September 2010 at 21:57

    lets get this mishmash storyboard, straight,
    Adam fell out of bed,
    And about then
    You gotta watch out for the gerbils.
    They'll really fuck you up

    you pushed me
    the floor hit me!
    You hit the floor!
    Oh! THUMP!
    nice hard wooden floor
    The floor hit me...quite hard.

    You know what? You're not hot
    ...No...Avert thine eyes!
    enough to be looking at me.

    Don't worry Your penis...
    for your ego- - -
    is too small - - -
    They're just big bath babies, the hippos
    Go ahead Let it out

    I can feel it in your chest.
    I'm so far away from you!
    It's not right!

    Adam, are you hurt?
    ...i don't know...
    .......give me a second.......
    and humming right along

    enigma, wrapped with a ?
    we're riddlin' right along with ya, baby ;}

  37. "big bath babies..." ha!

  38. It's cute how accusatory and hurt he sounds as he says "Did you... PUSH me?" and "I'm so far away from you!" *R across FLOL*

  39. ROFLOL!!! I'm still giggling over that. Karen, don't know how you held it in that long, I'd have been in tears at "the floor hit me".

    Adam - true friends will admit they are laughing AT you not WITH you.

  40. do you guys ever get a full nights sleep? lol honestly you must be dead on your feet all day

  41. you guys can really brighten my day! look forward to this every day and more to come :)

  42. Oh Karen you have to put both "Avert thine eyes" and "Your penis is too small for your ego" onto shirts!!! Please, oh please!!! Those are great!!!

  43. I love how he asked if you pushed him, then he said the floor hit him. Then he needed a moment. But at least he was man enough to tell you it was okay to let it all out! Poor Adam! LOL!

  44. Can someone translate the bit that's not typed up about Adam falling out of bed bit? Im deaf so can't hear the audio so I rely on the typing translations. Thank you!

  45. Poor Adam. I'm glad he's okay. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't check out your blog. It makes me giggle every time. I heard this song on the car radio the other day and just had to crank up the volume and sing along... a fun blast from the past. Hope y'all enjoy it.

    Lauren, Charlotte, NC, U.S.

  46. for Sasha:

    STM: "mumbling... oOH! "
    Karen: "are you okay? Adam?"
    Adam: "Did you... push me?"
    Karen: [stifling a laugh] "No of course I didn't push you!"
    Adam: "how the fuck did I end up here?!"
    Karen: [trying to stifle laugh] "Adam are you hurt?"
    Adam: "I don't know, gimme a second.. mm"
    Karen: "baby?"
    Adam: "Yes?!"
    Karen: "coming over"
    Adam: "no, don't move... I'm okay... I just... the floor hit me... quite hard."
    Karen: "come here"
    Adam: [distressed] "How'd I get there?!"
    Karen: "I think you.. rolled... did it really.."
    Adam: "I'm so far away from you, it's not right"
    Karen: [stifles laugh]
    Adam: [gets back in bed]
    Karen: [karen tyring to stifle laugh]
    Adam: "oh baby, don't laugh at me"
    Karen: [karen laughing a little]
    Adam: "see you're still luaghing at me"
    Karen: [strained] "No"
    Adam: "Yes you are, I can feel it in your chest. Let it out."
    Karen: [belly laughs from Karen]

  47. STM (mumbles) – Ooh!
    *thump of STM/Adam hitting floor*
    KAREN Are you okay? . . . Adam?
    ADAM Did you . . . push me?
    KAREN (laughing) No, of course I didn’t push you!
    ADAM (indistinctly) (something like “how the fuck did I end up here”)
    KAREN Adam, are you hurt?
    ADAM I don’t know; give me a second. Mm.
    KAREN Baby?
    ADAM Yes.
    KAREN I’m coming over.
    ADAM No! Don’t move. I’m okay. I just . . . the floor hit me. Quite/very hard.
    KAREN Come here.
    ADAM (whining) How’d I get there?
    KAREN I think you -- rolled. Didn’t really –
    ADAM (interrupting and sad) I’m so far away from you! It’s not right.
    KAREN (trying not to laugh) Ts-heh
    ADAM Poor baby!
    KAREN Come on.
    *ADAM climbing back into bed with various self-pitying sounds, KAREN trying not to laugh*
    ADAM You’re still laughing at me.
    KAREN (quickly, trying her best) No!
    ADAM Yes you are. I can feel it in your chest.
    KAREN *valiant gasp for control*
    ADAM (resigned) Let it out.

  48. Rats, didn't refresh page and see someone else posted that already! Ah, well.

  49. Thank you so much to both Anonymous posters... really appreciate it and now I couldn't help but giggle at what I read hehehe!!

    Thanks alot you two! :D


  50. Dear Karen and Adam, May you always be so happy together and have sleep-talking children and a happily ever after sleep-talking life.

  51. One of the best STM EVER!! Thanks Adam for taking it all in stride! You've just made my day!

  52. LMAO!!! First the small penis big ego; then the gerbils that'll fuck you up.

    NOTE TO SELF: Never start taking a drink while listening to the reveal! I almost ended spraying Diet Pepsi all over 1 of my monitors. I don't know what's funnier there; Adam disorientation/the floor hitting him, or listening to Karen trying SO hard not to laugh!!!

    Great nest egg stuff!!!

  53. haha 'Let it out! i dunno how kept it in! soo funny!

  54. I think the
    "Avert thine eyes! You're not hot enough to be looking at me."
    Should be a t-shirt!

  55. You guys are so cute together I love the posts when you're talking to each other.

  56. That recording brought tears to my eyes! So funny, thanks for sharing! Keep them coming! 

  57. Oh God, I have loved you guys for ages, but have never commented. I love Adam's Brit humor and to hear you both interact when he is half asleep. The falling out of the bed was the greatest. BTW you was right about the Latino Octopus! - MT

  58. Please, Please, Please put the "Avert thine eyes!..." quote on a t-shirt! I am so doing my Christmas shopping here.

    Thank you both so much for sharing!

  59. The things he does to keep us entertained! XD
    "Did you... push me?" aww.

  60. I agree with Lee Lee. Once you let out your laughter when Adam gave you permission, it made me laugh harder. :o)

  61. Oh man... I laughed for about five minutes after Karen started laughing at the end. I'm sorry. I feel a little guilty...but not that guilty! I'm still grinning like a fool.

  62. OMG, I've got tears rolling down my cheeks I laughed so hard. You guys are great!!!

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