Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20101023

Oct 23 2010

"That's the aubergines' decision? Well, that's the way they want it. More fool them."

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"You must be a cunt. Or a lawyer. Yeah, a lawyer."
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And here is how Adam woke up:


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STM: You— Who died? You died. Oh! The crocodiles are coming! You're reptile fodder! Oh! Get them away! Ah! Oh! (SLAM!)
ADAM: OH!
KAREN: Oh my god! Adam! Baby!
ADAM: Ah!
KAREN: Oh my god! Adam!
ADAM: Did I break something?
KAREN: I think you almost broke the headboard with your head! Oh, baby, come here. You all right?
ADAM: I don't know. No, no, not really right now.
KAREN: Oh my god!
ADAM: I'm sure I heard something crack. I'm sure I heard—
KAREN: No, it was your head. Your head cracked.
ADAM: Oh. That's all right then.

Added later: I forgot to mention, in the UK, there are "solicitors" and "barristers", no "lawyers".

30 comments:

  1. I really think you guys need to invest in a padded headboard. Just to keep Adam safe.

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  2. poor adam, i agree with the whole padded headboard. still makes a racket but protects the brain lol,

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  3. OMG! I am sorry, but that reveal was hilarious!

    I hope that Adam is okay.

    Side Mental note: do not play this at 5:15 a.m. with the speakers on, I made one of the dogs jump up and bark lmao.

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  4. I actually think "Reptile fodder" should be on a shirt.

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  5. love the way he says "the crocodiles are coming" =D

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  6. That sounded like it had to hurt! I hope Adam's alright after that lol!

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  7. he need a skull cap like the ones in rugby

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  8. Yep... I agree. You two need a padded headboard, or Adam needs to sleep with a padded helmet! :)

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  9. Sorry about the headboard thing! but I have a question about Lawyers. Do you call them Lawyer's in the UK? I thought you called them something else? That just caught my attention. Sorry.

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  10. love the last one!

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  11. I love how he goes "oh that's alright then" when he figures out it's his head that cracked. But that's a really suck-y way to wake up...

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  12. i have my bed next to wall. i have punched it or headbutted a few times before waking up

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  13. Yeah - you need a padded and stronger headboard (since he seems to be trying to break it every few weeks), with nothing for him to get caught on.....or get his hand stuck etc etc etc

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  14. I was coming here to comment on how you really need a padded headboard and saw other comments already haha!

    I think you would have a pretty good chance of getting sponsored by an Inflatable Boat company - you can sleep on a bed with an inflatable, padded headboard, in a round room with no bars, corners or pointy things.

    That or it's time Adam slept with a stackhat... (helmet)!

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  15. I've been reading the blog for months now but this is my first time commenting. I've listened to the second one several times and I think he's saying "she" instead of "you".

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  16. I agree with Hillary, he needs a helmet, not a padded headboard.

    And I also agree with Adam. Cracking your head is no problem. I've cracked my head 14 times and I'm still (pretty) normal.

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  17. Adam needs a helmet! Not on of those wienie little Rugby Helmets, but a nice fat thick American racing helmet! The kinds that NASCAR drivers wear when they drive their race cars, or come home late to their wives from the pub!

    Get the full face variety with the darkest colored visor you can find! That way, he can't see the walking dead, and crocodiles! Being unstartled by these very odd visions, he will not crack his head on the headboard!

    Perhaps a bit of cannabis might be useful too! ...Ahh!...Cannabis...!

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  18. By the way! After listening again, I DEFINITELY heard something crack! In fact I could almost hear the broken bit falling away!

    If Adam's cranial structure is indeed cracked he should seek medical attention! Even here in America, that is a pretty substantial injury!...Well except in parts of the Midwest, and The Georgia Mountains!

    Oh yea! And in the entire State of Arkansas!

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  19. In the UK, there are "solicitors" and "barristers" instead of "lawyers"...So how Americans say "No soliciting"? It should be "No lawyering". Yeah. "No lawyering or you'll be prosecuted" or "No lawyering. Charges will be applied."

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  20. aww, everyone's so rough on poor lawyers. a few rotten apples spoil the whole bunch... i know far more crooked plumbers than lawyers though :P

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  21. The headboard strikes again. It seems that there is many a morning that the headboard wakes Adam in an unpleasant way. First the ponies are eating his hand, now it is cracking his head open when he is trying to get away from the crocodiles. If you don't look into the padded headboard, perhaps Adam should wear a helmet?

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  22. You should also point out that aubergine is what you call eggplants in England.

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  23. I appreciate having my daily amusement at STMs expense, but I worry that he will hurt himself or Karen. Thank you both for sharing your lives, but please make sure you're both safe.

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  24. I work for the Crown Prosecution Service and, except for the in house barristers, we still refer to lawyers as lawyers (and also prosecutors and advocates). Solicitors are most common in criminal defence and non criminal matters.
    Hope his head ok though!

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  25. "More fool them" sounds more like "More for all them" to me.

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  26. THANK YOU KAREN & ADAM!!!
    I was having such a horrid, bad day & after listening to my daily dose of laughter (which is you guys) I feel much much better... :D
    Thank you so much.

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  27. I have just come across your blog, after a series of random digressions via track pad clicks... and I could not be happier about it. I haven't laughed this hard in...well... I don't know how long. I am officially a faithful reader/listener of your blog now.
    I can't say I will always be able to offer up the same quality of laughs, but please feel free to stop by and say hello.
    http://thereisgrandeur.blogspot.com/

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  28. "the crocodiles are coming!"on the front. You're reptile fodder." on the back, should be a t-shirt.
    I mentioned a couple weeks back that you both should invest in padding, or atleast make Adam wear a helmet to bed. hopefully he wasn't hurt to bad at that. it really sounded like he cracked something there.

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  29. The aubergine should also consider that the pig will inevitably be hurting on the long run. Maybe that should be made clear to the aubergine.

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