"You're a cock and a fuck-up. Any further complaints can be directed toward my arse, where I'm sure you'll receive a warm response."
or click here"Oh, great. Now you're older than Jesus. Your one great achievement in your sad fuck of a life."
or click here"Toot tooooot! Time for a love connection! Toot toooooot!"
On this next one, you'll hear that I was resorting to some old tricks to try and get Adam to talk. Listen for our dialogue of grunts:
or click here"Dude. It did it again. Your dog talked. Seriously, it said 'woof'. Not doggie woof, but a real people kind of woof. Fuuuuck."
or click here__________
Karen's notes: Adam had to remind me that Jesus lived to be in his early-30s. I was being moronic, thinking he was talking to someone over 2,000 years old.
So, next time you have a friend celebrate their 30-somethingth birthday, you can turn to STM for the perfect sentiment, 'cause I am DEFINITELY creating a greeting card for that one!
Added later: Lots of people have asked for the first quote on a shirt, bt I can't decide what version to do. Hey, look! There's a poll to the left. Go vote!
love your good old tricks xo
ReplyDeletethanks for blogging
the first needs to used against customer services in call centres
ReplyDeletehe lived to be 33 sweetie. just want to be sure you know that before you make the cards!
ReplyDelete@ beth - she did say early 30s. her friend had their 35th birthday. but you are right he lived until he was 33, according to history.
ReplyDelete"toot tooot! time for a love connection! toot tooooot!" love that one.
@ thatdamnelf - glad I'm not the only one that was thinking that.... lol guess atleast it was a good thing he wasn't talking like a dog. lol
I wonder if Adam reads Terry Pratchett. The dog Gaspode is described as messing with a human's mind by not barking, but saying "woof".
ReplyDeleteGaspode later claims that most humans just fool themselves into ignoring him. After all, everyone knows dogs don't talk, so if one does, you must be imagining it.
Actually, Adam DOES like Terry Patchett. -Karen
ReplyDeleteKaren - I TOTALLY thought "over 200 years" when I read that. Who says that kind of think and means 33?
ReplyDeleteCondsier:
"Wow, look at you, you're older than Justin Beiber!" [NOT OLD!]
vs
"Wow, look at you, you're older than dirt!" [VERY OLD!]
:)
Thanks for making me laugh today. "Not doggie woof, but a real people kind of woof" love that!
ReplyDeleteLove them all today!
ReplyDeleteBut according to Scripture, Jesus was raised from the dead, so did he start aging again? Or at least, did he celebrate the original day of his birth? If so, he would be over 2,000 years old Karen! Gee, I wonder what (if anything) would be the appropriate birthday gift for someone raised from the dead? After 2000+ years I suppose he has everything. Except a STM gift!
ReplyDeleteHeh, I celebrated 34 as a milestone, because I knew it would be the only time in my life I achieved something that neither Jesus Christ nor Alexander the Great could.
ReplyDeleteI like my victories petty.
I also love your blog, but that's not really related.
--Mickey6
Well, I'm older than Doctor Who, in a manner of speaking. By the way, I voted for the T-shirt that I thought would be the most work-safe.
ReplyDeleteLove the "love connection" quote too..... particularly after hearing what sounded to be moaning..... STM sure is a sly one!
ReplyDeleteI had a sheltie named Rucker that could say woof like a people woof. My mother wanted to teach him to bark when she told him to speak. She would hold up a dog treat and tell him to speak and then she said, "Woof." to show him what she wanted him to do. He eventually learned to actually SAY the word woof.
ReplyDeleteStrong language Adam!
ReplyDelete