Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20101103

Nov 3 2010

"You're a cock and a fuck-up. Any further complaints can be directed toward my arse, where I'm sure you'll receive a warm response."

 or click here
"Oh, great. Now you're older than Jesus. Your one great achievement in your sad fuck of a life."
 or click here

On this next one, you'll hear that I was resorting to some old tricks to try and get Adam to talk. Listen for our dialogue of grunts:
"Toot tooooot! Time for a love connection! Toot toooooot!"
 or click here
"Dude. It did it again. Your dog talked. Seriously, it said 'woof'. Not doggie woof, but a real people kind of woof. Fuuuuck."
 or click here
__________

Karen's notes: Adam had to remind me that Jesus lived to be in his early-30s. I was being moronic, thinking he was talking to someone over 2,000 years old.

So, next time you have a friend celebrate their 30-somethingth birthday, you can turn to STM for the perfect sentiment, 'cause I am DEFINITELY creating a greeting card for that one!

Added later: Lots of people have asked for the first quote on a shirt, bt I can't decide what version to do. Hey, look! There's a poll to the left. Go vote!


18 comments:

  1. love your good old tricks xo
    thanks for blogging

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  2. Dude, are you getting stoned in your sleep now? Fuuuuck. . .

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  3. the first needs to used against customer services in call centres

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  4. he lived to be 33 sweetie. just want to be sure you know that before you make the cards!

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  5. @ beth - she did say early 30s. her friend had their 35th birthday. but you are right he lived until he was 33, according to history.

    "toot tooot! time for a love connection! toot tooooot!" love that one.

    @ thatdamnelf - glad I'm not the only one that was thinking that.... lol guess atleast it was a good thing he wasn't talking like a dog. lol

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  6. I wonder if Adam reads Terry Pratchett. The dog Gaspode is described as messing with a human's mind by not barking, but saying "woof".

    Gaspode later claims that most humans just fool themselves into ignoring him. After all, everyone knows dogs don't talk, so if one does, you must be imagining it.

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  7. Actually, Adam DOES like Terry Patchett. -Karen

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  8. Karen - I TOTALLY thought "over 200 years" when I read that. Who says that kind of think and means 33?
    Condsier:

    "Wow, look at you, you're older than Justin Beiber!" [NOT OLD!]

    vs

    "Wow, look at you, you're older than dirt!" [VERY OLD!]

    :)

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  9. Thanks for making me laugh today. "Not doggie woof, but a real people kind of woof" love that!

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  10. Love them all today!

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  11. But according to Scripture, Jesus was raised from the dead, so did he start aging again? Or at least, did he celebrate the original day of his birth? If so, he would be over 2,000 years old Karen! Gee, I wonder what (if anything) would be the appropriate birthday gift for someone raised from the dead? After 2000+ years I suppose he has everything. Except a STM gift!

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  12. Heh, I celebrated 34 as a milestone, because I knew it would be the only time in my life I achieved something that neither Jesus Christ nor Alexander the Great could.

    I like my victories petty.

    I also love your blog, but that's not really related.

    --Mickey6

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  13. Well, I'm older than Doctor Who, in a manner of speaking. By the way, I voted for the T-shirt that I thought would be the most work-safe.

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  14. The cock & fuckup one on a shirt? The front should have the "You're a cock & a fuck-up..."
    The back should have the comments to the arse part. With an arrow pointing down. lol.

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  15. Love the "love connection" quote too..... particularly after hearing what sounded to be moaning..... STM sure is a sly one!

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  16. "your a cock and a fuck-up!" on the front.
    on the back have, "any more complaints?" and then have an arrow point down to your butt saying, "wait for your warm response!"

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  17. I had a sheltie named Rucker that could say woof like a people woof. My mother wanted to teach him to bark when she told him to speak. She would hold up a dog treat and tell him to speak and then she said, "Woof." to show him what she wanted him to do. He eventually learned to actually SAY the word woof.

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