"I'm gonna keep this simple, for your sake: GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE. Okay? Okay."
or click here"Don't— don't— don't let the midget out of the wardrobe. No. He doesn't come out until Thursday… Not until Thursday."
Merch news: In response to a bit of clamoring, I put "I'm so happy I could shit a puppy" into the shops as quick as I could. And don't forget that there's free shipping on shirts right now!
|KAREN:||You said, "Don't let the midget out of the wardrobe. He doesn't come out until Thursday."|
|ADAM:||He's got to polish all my shoes. Cleans my shoes, straightens my shirts, and guards against moths. Thursday is his day off.|
|KAREN:||Are moths afraid of midgets?|
|ADAM:||He eats the moths.|
|KAREN:||Oh. Does he get to eat anything else?|
|ADAM:||Moths and dust.|
|KAREN:||Dust is mostly human skin cells.|
|ADAM:||He eats dust.|
|KAREN:||So, you're saying he's a cannibal. Aren't you afraid of keeping a cannibal around the house?|
|ADAM:||No, I don't keep him around the house. I keep him in the wardrobe.|
|KAREN:||Where does he go on Thursday?|
|ADAM:||I let him out so he can stretch his legs. It doesn't take much. He likes to skateboard.|
|ADAM:||Apparently so. I see him going up and down the hill. Then at six o'clock in the evening on the dot, he bounces back into the wardrobe. He likes it there. It's cosy. He's made a little nest in my t-shirts.|
|KAREN:||No wonder your t-shirts smell like that.|
|ADAM:||I love you, midget! Next year I'll give you a name.|