"Oh, hamsters don't give love like guinea pigs. No, no. Guinea pigs are a love package, all wrapped up in little squeaks."
or click here"I'm telling you, you can't dance. You just look like a fat pogo stick, now sit down!"
or click here__________
Karen's notes: I must say, I am in agreement with STM on this one. No, not the dance critique. I'm talking about the comparative analysis of rodent love. Guinea pigs are way more adorable and affectionate than hamsters. And here we have the ensuing conversation in which I do my best guinea pig impersonation, and Adam tells a story that many people who bought themselves more than one guinea pig (having been told at the pet store that they were the same sex) have experienced.
or click here
|KAREN:||Do you want to hear my guinea pig impression?|
|KAREN:||WHREEE WHREEE WHREEE WHREEE WHREEE|
|KAREN:||Are those my socks?|
|ADAM:||No! It's my black and white little ones.|
|KAREN:||What?! Those aren't black and white little ones.|
|ADAM:||They're black and grey little ones.|
|KAREN:||They're not even little. What are you talking about?!|
|ADAM:||They're my socks.|
|KAREN:||What did you think of my guinea pig impression?|
|ADAM:||I thought it was very guinea pig-like.|
|ADAM:||Yes. I got put off guinea pigs when I had thirteen of the fuckers. Three were fine. I could live with three. They were good at cutting the grass. But when thirteen came along, I was... No.|
Another note: When Adam says "They were good at cutting grass," he's talking about the fact that he used to have the guinea pigs mow his lawn for him. He set up a four-sided barrier which he would lay on the grass, put the guinea pigs in, and go about his other business. After a while, he'd come back and move the barrier (and guinea pigs) to another square. He'd repeat this until the whole lawn was perfectly trimmed.
Oh, and, I just want to explain that the socks Adam was putting on were striped black and dark charcoal grey, and they were regular length, halfway-up-the-calf socks.