Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)


Feb 21 2011

"Smell my hands. They smell of bacon. Go on, smell. It's okay, it's kosher. Mmmm, bacon hands."

 or click here
"Don't make me drink yogurt. It makes my teeth cough."
 or click here

And then, the awakening:
 or click here
ADAM: (In response to me softly stroking his back:) Mmmmm..... (And then... a sudden kung-fu block!...) Sorry!
KAREN: (moan of terror)
ADAM: What did you do to me?
KAREN: I was petting you.
ADAM: That wasn't petting! You were touching me.
KAREN: Baby, this is— I'm gonna re-enact.
ADAM: (whine)
KAREN: Come— come down here. Here's what I did, ready? (gently petting) And you were liking it. You were liking it. You were going, "mmmmm". And then sudden—
ADAM: I was growling.
KAREN: No, you weren't growling.
ADAM: I was growling.
ADAM: Are you sure?
ADAM: I always growl before I attack.
KAREN: No, you were going, "mmm".
ADAM: It was a growl.
KAREN: You liked it. And then suddenly... you POUNCED!
ADAM: You were just lucky I didn't have a throwing star. 'Cause, I opened you up by pushing your hand away, and with a throwing star, I would have thrown it right down the center of your face.
KAREN: Note to self: Don't let Adam go to sleep with a throwing star.
ADAM: You'll never find it anyway. I have it hidden on my body. With my nun-chucks. And you don't want to go looking for them.


  1. Ha ha ... he reminded me of Napoleon Dynamite there with his sweet ninja skills:

  2. OMG the reveals keep getting better and better!! I needed the laugh this morning :)

  3. ...and the comment about not going looking for the nunchucks is very Torchwood... for those of you who remember the derringer.

  4. Awesome reveal!

    "Smell of this." I grew up in a linguistically distinct area where we say "smell of this" instead of "smell this." I've been teased about it. My response is that it's the partitive genitive of scent because when you smell something, you do not inhale the entire scent. And that's a little comment to delight the Latin scholars.

  5. I love that he insists that bacon hands are somehow kosher. Ha ha!

  6. And Homer Simpson would start licking his "bacon hands" after saying, "MMMM. Bacon Hands."

  7. I don't think I wanna know where the throwing star and the nun-chucks are kept!

    Kosher bacon, I would presume: Found this for all of you who can't have bacon:

  8. we seriously need something that says "I always growl before I attack." even if it isn't technically STM.

  9. Bacon hands............ ninja moves.......

    Is STM channeling Miss Piggy?

    "Haiiii-YAH!" 7@=Q

  10. lmao not only is stm funny; karen and adam, your reveals are often more hilarious than the quotes!!

    HA! Take that stm! ;-P

  11. its really informative and intersting man keep it up :)

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  12. This further amuses me due to the fact that it has been stated that Adams is Jewish. XD
    Click me to play Neo! Free, no scammin'. :3

  13. @Marilyn B:
    "linguistically distinct area" sounds like a euphemism to me...   8^)

    I do love the idea of saying "smell of this" rather than "smell this", though. It sounds awesomely archaic. (And reminds me of the the phrase "partake of").

  14. I agree - I want a tee that says "I always growl before I attack."

  15. Yes, yes, a tee with "I always growl before I attack."

  16. @spudtater, it's a euphemism for "We don't talk right 'round here."

    I think it is archaic. The linguistic pocket in question takes its roots from the original settlers.

  17. best thing ive ever read