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Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20110421

Apr 21 2011

"Why don't you call back later, and we'll see whether we can get the world to revolve around you."

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"Pass me that brick. And you'd better start praying. 'Cause I'm gonna teach you that prayer don't heal shit, dickhead."
 or click here

Perhaps that one was in honor of Good Friday?

And here's a conversation from the early morning. Note that a "lie in" is a day that you don't have to get up and out of bed early, and, yes, that's how "zebra" is pronounced here (I'm rather mortified that this sort of thing is happening. But at least I'm not developing the Madonna accent).


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KAREN: We get to have a lie in tomorrow.
ADAM: I want a giraffe.
KAREN: (snorts at Adam's terrible joke. Then,) What are the big five? Is it elephant, lion—
ADAM: The big five what?
KAREN: When they talk about safari...
ADAM: Elephant, lion—
KAREN: Zebra, giraffe...
ADAM: Dung beetle. That's a safari for really small people
KAREN: REALLY small people.
ADAM: Yeah.
KAREN: We're not talking little people.
ADAM: No, no, no. We're talking—
KAREN: Gnomes.
ADAM: Yeah.
KAREN: Probably even smaller!
ADAM: I was thinking more secret government experiment small people.
KAREN: Mmmmmm.

21 comments:

  1. LOVING the blog! And, also, I think I can help here. :) The African Big Five are the Elephant, the Cape Buffalo, the Lion, the Leopard, and the Rhinoceros. :) They are also the five most dangerous animals in the country.

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  2. i thought hippos were one of the most dangerous?

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  3. I don't know about you, but I am stealing that first line. Thank you so much!

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  4. STM is wrong about #2. Prayer and/or meditation has been shown to lower stress. Your stress level effects how quickly you get over injuries and illnesses - higher stress = slower recovery time because your own body is working against you. So prayer, in combination with medical treatment, actually does heal.

    I can't remember the title but I read this book awhile ago. I can't remember if it was set in Ireland or Scotland, but it was in a big castle. There were these tiny little people running around, gnomes, who only spoke German. Turns out the guy who used to live there was a Nazi doctor who created these little gnomes in his lab - most were male but there was one female one he used to sexually assault. And they were without morals and such. So they were Evil Nazi Gnomes.

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  5. I need to figure out a way to make the first one my voicemail message!

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  6. Stuart - Hmmm... I should definitely at least make that a ringtone!

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  7. And a t-shirt too please? I work at the phone company and NEED that on a tee!

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  8. I'm going to start using that first one on my kids when they start going all dramatic on me! Hahaha, that's awesome!

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  9. Karen, I've been automatically using the English pronunciations sans Madonna accent as well. But I HAVE been here for almost three years, so...

    What I do find is that when I come back from a visit to the States, I forget which side the flush is on the toilet...

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  10. @ Anonymous: Hippos are one of the most dangerous, but the "big five" also has to do with big game hunting, and Hippos aren't usually targeted by hunters. :) Google "Africa's Big Five" for more information.

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  11. ooooh, ringtone for the first one, definitely!

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  12. Karen, if you do end up with a sorta Madonna accent, remember that it's not entirely your fault! When I lived in England I picked up a lot of their pronunciations because I wanted to be understood... and it was always a horror just trying to order water in a restaurant. I'm like "tap water", and they're all... "huh?" I finally got by with "wahta". My English friends enjoyed this struggle very much.

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  13. Benjamin Sutton21 April 2011 22:29

    That second one touched me in my special place ^_^

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  14. Benjamin Sutton21 April 2011 22:33

    Also, it's for the best that you pronounce it Z-ebb-rah. Pronounce it zee-brah and people look at you strange. I have lived in England all my life and still ended up with a psudo-american accent...

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  15. gnomes=dwarfs=dropa=maya
    maya + energy being aka demon = anazazi=a nazi
    ho ho ho
    merry easter
    IAM HISTER

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  16. Perhaps the Rhinoceros Beetle would be more appropriate for your Micro-Safari, along with Ant Lions, Elephant Shrew, Zebra Swallowtails and Buffalo Carpet Beetles..... unfortunately, I couldn't find any tiny giraffes (except for those Russian ones).... 7@=Q

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  17. well if someone took the russian grids away they couldnt long neck on scalar so much...the dirty giraffe spys lol
    like the outer limits O.B.I.T. always worried about whats in everyone elses head and not their own

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  18. love it.... two perfect sayings in one day!!!

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  19. Why don't you call back later, and we'll see whether we can get the world to revolve around you.

    I work in a call centre. Do you know how BADLY I want to say this to my customers?!?! When people talk about money to agents who work in call centres they turn evil I tell ya! Evil!

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  20. Don't worry about the 'zebra' thing. I find myself pronouncing things the English way and using English phrases, too, and I don't even live there. I just watch a lot of British TV, listen to BBC radio, and read English authors' books..

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  21. Yup (that would be Texan for Yes) Shirts and ringtones on the first one please. I have done the call center thing and my spouse does the IT help desk thing...

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