Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20110502

May 2 2011

"Must… get… up. It's time to get up for jelly fencing. Where's my mold? Where's my fucking mold? I can't fence without the mold."

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Hey Yanks, here in the UK, "jelly" = "jell-o". Now, imagine THAT sword fight.
"Turtle burgers for everyone! Even you, veggie scum."
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And here we are in the morning, discussing the logistics of turtle burgers:


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KAREN: "Turtle burgers for everyone! Even you, veggie scum."
ADAM: What? Turtle burger?
KAREN: "Turtle burgers for everyone."
ADAM: Do you think they serve it in the half-shell?
KAREN: But then it couldn’t really be a burger.
ADAM: No, the burger bun and everything’s in the half-shell. The half-shell’s the plate.
KAREN: Ohhhh!
ADAM: Mm-hmm.
KAREN: Well, but think about it. The burger would basically take up the whole plate.
ADAM: Depends when you cook the turtle if it shrinks.
KAREN: I guess it would.
ADAM: Mm-hmm.
KAREN: But do you think you keep on the legs and head?
ADAM: I think—they’d be the—they’re like the fries, ‘cause you pull them off first and eat them. Like fries. They’d be crunchy.
KAREN: They would be crunchy, that’s true. What about the claws?
ADAM: They’ll fall off in the cooking process.
KAREN: Okay.
__________

Karen's notes: This post has been pre-scheduled. We're in Bruges!

26 comments:

  1. disturbing...

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  2. Fun fact: female fencers wear ceramic things called jelly moulds to protect their chests. So if STM were a woman he'd be right! Or maybe he's just got a lovely pair of moobs!

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  3. just love this blog so much! all my favourite quotes of of STM. bit sad? i don't think so!


    http://picturesofthingsandscarlett.blogspot.com/

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  4. Turtles don't hurt anyone. :(

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  5. Sudden craving for a turtle burger.

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  6. We make turtle burgers every summer when we start cooking out on the grill. My daughter lovest them. This is where we got the idea: http://thechive.com/2010/02/15/bacon-cheese-turtleburger-anyone-3-photos/

    But here's another version that's much cuter: http://www.soothbrush.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/turtle-burger.jpg

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  7. Oh geez, really turtle? I guess it's lower on the food chain than cows but turtles are sacred. My dad has saved more turtles than anyone can count. Plus so many kinds, including the ones that people typically eat are threatened and endangered.

    I'm not lecturing STM, Adam, and Karen.

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  8. maybe there is going to be a genocide of ninja turtles just like that of the real Raphael...perhaps by ANU's Fairy Princess...seen by above majic eyes only NSA of course
    EA's Sofia
    Nephalim War Court
    ANU World Order

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  9. ninjas turtles don't have an updated universal map quest or a rabbit with a hole to get them to a highway to hitch hike with a host....but then they're always like a back seat driver named simon anyway aren't they...Simon say goo right...Simon says go left...IAM guaranteed their next trip will be abysmal!!!

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  10. http://www.mancavesite.org/ManOVations.htm
    Great Turtleburger here

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  11. the Mancavesite is AWESOME !!
    bacon is the perfect condom to wrap the ninja turtles in while cooking them... like a pig in a blanket affect only the opposite cause the pig is the blanket lol

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  12. @Anon 22:03: But those are Mock-Turtleburgers!

    And as we know, Mock-Turtles are even rarer than real ones...... 7@=Q

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  13. ill just be glad when the BBQ is over and no one talks in code anymore lol...it's been an earth moving experience!

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  14. here in hawaii we BBQ using a bright white light

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  15. http://mainehuntingtoday.com/bbb/2010/07/01/turtle-burgers/

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  16. omg...those turtle burgers look so good and im lycan all those wolf article one that site too ! thanks
    EA's Sofia
    PS

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  17. So if Jell-O is england is called jelly (a perfectly descriptive term), what is a fruit preserve made from just the fruit juice called? (ie, what we in america call jelly)

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  18. IHeartStuff: it's called jam.

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  19. @IHeartStuff: We don't tend to eat that over here, but I guess we'd just call it "jam", like we do for most other types of fruit preserve.

    I guess something like Hartley's "Smooth Squeezy Jam" is the closest we get to US-style jelly.

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  20. I guess growing up in dairyland, I think of "fencing" as putting up a fence. A jello fence would have been easier to get over than electrified barbed wire...

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  21. this is terrible. awful. turtle burgers indeed.

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  22. See, here in America there's a difference between jam and jelly.

    Jelly is fruit juice that has been gelled with loads of sugar.

    Jam is whole fruit - and sugar - but still, the whole fruit.

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  23. I love it went you post morning dialogue. Please keep it up!

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  25. How has no one commented about the turtle claws?? Did I miss something in biology?

    Love,
    CarolAnn

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  26. You know, every time I say "__ for everyone," I always have to add, "Even you, veggie scum." People look at me weird. Possibly because I AM the veggie scum (proudly :D). Possibly because the topic at hand is usually not food related.

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