Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20110525

May 25 2011

"I'm so sorry about the pop-tarts. It really should never have happened."

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"I wanted a shark with laser beams, and I got a manatee with a mag-lite. For fuck's sake, get back in your hole and get it right."
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And the reveal:


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KAREN: You said, "I wanted a shark with laser beams, and what I got was a manatee with a mag-lite."
ADAM: The poor manatee.
KAREN: Why? It's just a mag-lite, he probably doesn't even feel it.
ADAM: He can use it as a weapon as well. He can hit something with it...
KAREN: A manatee would never hit anybody.
ADAM: Out of self-defense, maybe? They've got some weight behind them, those manatees. They're slow, they can creep up on you.
KAREN: They creep up on you—
ADAM: and then they kiss you with their bristles.
KAREN: —and just snuggle you, I know. They're snuggly.
ADAM: Well, they can fight crime with kindness and cuddles...
KAREN: Oh, I like that.
ADAM: ...and then hit you over the head with a mag-lite.

20 comments:

  1. Barbara manatee, you are the one for me!

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  2. Sharks with laser beams is a present Dr. Evil got from his son in Austin Powers...
    I'm not sure how I remember that.
    Oh, and the laser beams were attached to the sharks heads.

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  3. The sharks with frickin laser beams attached to their heads never came to fruition, Dr Evil got ill-tempered mutated sea bass instead. Although manatees with maglites is funnier in its own alliterative way

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  4. Wouldn't you like to know the details behind the pop-tart incident? STM can be such a tease!

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  5. Oh, the huge manatee!

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  6. "Well, they can fight crime with kindness and cuddles...
    ...and then hit you over the head with a mag-lite."

    even though it was awake adam and not stm... made me laugh out loud

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  7. Manatees actually wait on the bottom of the ocean in the Everglades for boats to come by, then rise quickly and knock them over. If you're ever canoeing or kayaking out there you have to watch out for them because they will capsize you. If I had a Maglite I would hit it right back.

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  8. "All I want is friggin sharks with friggin laser beams attached to their friggin heads!" Gotta love Dr. Evil.

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  9. Ha ha! I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought about Barbra Manatee. Huzzah for Silly Songs With Larry.

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  10. I live in The United States, and I've been to Florida. I've seen sea cows. I would not like to cuddle with one, as there wouldn't be much left of me if it ever rolled over the wrong way!

    Besides; Snuggling with a thousand pound aquatic herbivorous animal is just plain weird!

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  11. Both quotes somehow remind me of "Calvin & Hobbes"..... 7@=Q

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  12. Oh good I'm not the only one who heard Dr. Evil when I first read the quote! They should have had Sleep Talkin' Man to write! Manatees with Mag-Lights would have been much more absurd!

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  13. LMAO! I started singing the Barbara Manatee song in my head too! Go Veggie Tales!!

    Not sure what's funnier...the sleep talking or the reveal! Hilarious!

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  14. Oh yeah...and what's a mag lite?

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  15. heavy duty flash light (torch for the brits :-) )

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  16. The original mermaids ...

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  17. The first person who posted as Anonymous, I like the way you think :-)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpcf_qD3GW4

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