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Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20110615

June 15 2011

"I'm like a vulnerable fawn in the woods. One that happens to carry an uzi, some ninja throwing stars, and a mother fucking bazooka."

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I think we need to see an illustration of Bambi with those tweaks.
"You can send me diary entries I can ignore, or I can ignore you personally. You choose."
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Diary = personal calendar around here. I can't seem to remember whether it does in the States as well!
"Oh! You ARE a girl. It's not the genitalia, it's your lifestyle that gives it away."
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I can't quite make sense of this one. Is he insulting this person's genitalia, or the female lifestyle in general?


23 comments:

  1. Is STM a Better Off Ted fan? Because that first one sure sounds like he's thinking of the season two episode where Veronica keeps saying things like, "Vulnerable, like a fawn in the woods, but tough, like a fawn in the woods with a machine gun," and, later: "You're like a fire-breathing, razor-back fawn." Eventually it turns out she was confusing fawns with monsters.

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  2. Always called my personal calendar a planner.. Especially the one in my book bag or purse.

    Confused on the last one as well.

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  3. The first one... t-shirt... with the first sentence in large letters, and then the rest in smaller letters under it. :P

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  4. I have heard of personal calendars/planners being called diaries over here.

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  5. Hannah, I have heard of Better Off Ted. I think I saw one episode a long time ago but I never got into it. - adam

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  6. The problem with the fawn with all the sporting goods thing is that a fawn is not physically able to use any of these weapons!

    Hooves,and guns? Won't work! And don't even get me started on those throwing stars!

    Over here, a diary is a private book that you right your innermost thoughts in. They've grown out of favor since the wrong people always seem to get hold of them!

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  7. ahh Stoney, we've missed you. never underestimate those little stubby antlers and a flick of their long necks can lead to some pretty amazing throwing star accuracy! - adam

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  8. http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/mro0004l.jpg

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  9. I think STM could be insulting a guy in the last one "you are a girl, regardless of your genitals, but because of how you behave". What do you think? - Sam

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  10. Think camel toe on that last one.

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  11. Coffee Lover15 June 2011 15:17

    Mabey he's telling someone he's flaming gay? And means it as an insult? However some of my best friends are gay men, and they would take it as a compliment :)

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  12. The second one could be on a card. On a wedding anniversary card.

    I prefer someone ignoring me personally. It's much more...personal. Makes me feel important when someone bothers to come up to my face to ignore me.

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  13. I've always called my personal calendar a calendar... >> I did have, at one point, embarrassingly personal and private little journals I called diaries that chronicled ALL my childhood crushes, as well as a few plots to take over the world. XD I was a weird kid.

    I agree though. We so need a picture of the first.

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  14. shirt of the first one would be awesome!

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  15. I think STM was insulting a woman, because she was ugly enough or androngenous enough to look like a man, only what she did showed she was a girl. That's my take.

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  16. I thought naming him Bsmbo was clever until I saw the other link.
    http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d121/bigdog82000/Shops/bambo.png

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  17. I drug our old '83 Ford van out of the woods (where its been sitting for five years!), and rebuilt the entire fuel delivery system, half the electrical system, and fixed the heater. Now it runs like a sewing machine. It looks a lot better since I scrubbed the many years worth of crud off of, and out of it. Bartered some racing engine work for a fresh set of tires too.

    After that it was on to the '93 Ford Taurus, (which I gave my wife as a valentines Day gift nine years ago), to straighten out the electronic fuel injection, which involved a new Idle Air Control, new Mass Airflow Sensor, and new Oxygen Sensors, (which Ford put in the most inaccessible FUCKING place you can imagine!). Then I cleaned out the seventeen years worth of gunk out of the throttle body, cleaned all the electrical connections, evicted the lively tribe of field mice, fixed the horrific mess they made of the wiring, and re-flashed the Engine Engine Control computer. Now it runs like a sewing machine.

    Done with two of the cars I went on to my ever faithful, and long-suffering Husqvarna 372 chainsaw which cuts the wood that heats my house. I rewarded it for it's many years of tireless service with a fresh piston, fresh rings, rebuilt carburetor, fresh bar, fresh chain, and a thorough cleaning.

    I will now go on strike! I will suffer no more grease, and my knuckles will bleed no longer! I will sit my fat ass in front of the television, and play video games, so fuck who doesn't like it! Afterward, I will, indeed seek out the illegal, the immoral AND the fattening, and of them all, I shall partake, and make no apologies for doing so!

    I will attend to the 4000 emails, which have been piling up in inbox, and then I will find something dangerous to do, involving a motorcycle, while someone holds my beer!

    All of these things I will do, and more just as soon as a wash the cats! One of our resident skunks, (who eat the rattlesnakes), was rudely challenged by two of the resident tom cats. She taught them the error of their ways, in the manner for which skunks are equipped!

    Now I have a five gallon bucket of tomato juice, two angry cats, and it's 2:00 AM. Welcome to my world!

    On a lighter note, I read all the rest of the previous STM pronouncements, and I'm at a loss as to how STM could kn ow so well the manners of The American Opossum, or as they are known around here "possums". They have a nasty habit of defecating on you as you walk under the trees they happen to be in.

    The possum is also the most hideous of creatures, and I doubt The Devil Himself could create an uglier beast, or one with fewer redeeming qualities.

    Oh yea! Good call on "Grand Theft Divorce"!

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  18. Please excuse the cut, and paste mishap above. I was trying to post a video link, and it slapped up my comment from the Divorce" post.

    It could have been caused by something I smoked, and in all probability, most likely was!

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  19. I will draw the bambi thing. just give me a little while cause I am leaving for vacaton this week. and wont be back for a coupple weeks, but i will draw it.

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  20. Y'know, wasn't there a Far Side comic that said something to that end?
    "They killed his mother. They burned his forest. Now they would pay. BAMBO."

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  21. http://randomramblingsfromjeb.blogspot.com/

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  22. I can't remember ever hearing someone call their personal calendar a "diary." Here in America that usually refers to a journal...you write in it about yourself and/or your life and/or things you are thinking about...kind of like a blog, but more old-fashioned.

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  23. He could be insulting a guy.

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