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Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20110622

June 22 2011

"In a land, far far away, there lived a wanker. And that's where he's gonna stay, if he knows what's good for him."

 or click here
"Jesus was a zombie. Jesus was a zombie!"
 or click here

At the risk of offending a huge number of people out there, STM kind of has a point there.


20 comments:

  1. Nah, Jesus was a vampire! Think about it; the blood-drinking thing, the eternal life, the hanging about in tombs...

    Or maybe he was just a Goth.

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  2. joaniebaloney8322 June 2011 13:57

    Hmmm, does Adam watch the TV show "Bones?" Dr. Brennan announced that Jesus was a zombie to her partner a few seasons back.

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  3. I love imagining Adam saying the "wanker" line and then rolling over in bed with a thump. He sounds so huffy.

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  4. STM definitely has a point, has he been looking at this? http://www.thegoodatheist.net/2010/07/06/jesus-venn/

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  5. Zombie Jesus day, when the rest of the world was celebrating Easter

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  6. so that's why i've never accepted jesus as my saviour! ain't no zombie gonna save nobody. lmao!!

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  7. Nope, STM is wrong.

    The whole rising from the dead thing is a Hollywood creation. A "real" zombie (as in what's in the mythology) is a LIVING person who has been turned into a mindless slave by a voodoo priest or priestess. They eat, drink, and poop just like anyone else. Just their God given free will has been taken from them.

    Hollywood zombies are a combination of two supernatural creatures - vampires, humans who rise from the dead to feed on the living, and ghouls, supernatural beings that hang out in graveyards eating the flesh of dead people.

    Between rising from the dead and the whole "this is my blood" thing - plus the "being saved by the blood of Christ" Jesus' death and rebirth is more akin mythologically speaking, as Spud pointed out, to vampires, NOT zombies.

    We won't argue about if he was the Messiah or not as he didn't do what the Messiah was suppose to do. (And despite what some people claim, there IS evidence that Jesus was a living, breathing person.) But he was most defiantly NOT a zombie.

    If, however, he does come back, I'd check for fangs.

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  8. I am HIGHLY OFFENDED JESUS is my LORD and Saviour

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  9. Oh dear! Now that's done it. Crap!

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  10. @Jami: Thanks for taking it in good humour! I have to point out that you're not quite right about zombies; according to traditional vodou lore they are in fact people who have been ressurrected from the dead.

    A modern theory holds that zombie-like phenomenon could be induced with certain toxins and drugs, fooling people into thinking that somebody came back from the dead when in fact they were merely in a death-like state. But this theory is unsubstantiated, and in any case irrelevant to the myth of the zombie.

    Obviously the similarities between Jesus and vampires are no coincidence, as vampires are a heavily Christianised myth! The eternal-life-through-drinking-of-blood thing is in particular an obvious perversion of the story of the Last Supper.

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  11. I'm a Christian and I've heard the jesus-zombie idea before. All I can think is: "That just makes him COOLER."

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  12. yeah...I'm probably not going to read this anymore. I'm truly offended- and I really expectet better. I was very wrong. Props to "JamiSings".

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  13. I just the offended would be just as offended to hear there are theories that Mary had other children later, and that during the years that nothing was written about him, Jesus may have gone off and had a family too.

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  14. Jesus - the Un-dead. Sounds about right!

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  15. btw, I am in Australia - a land far away. There are 'wankers' a-plenty here...

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  16. love the first one.... no need for STM to worry about this wanker.... doesn't look like I'm going to be leaving TN anytime soon.
    as for the Jesus was a zombie.... I think it should be Jesus's followers are zombies.... most of them are mindless (yet living as Jamisings).

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  17. when can we get Jesus was a Zombie on some product?

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  18. As a Goth, a born-again Christian, and an avid zombie enthusiast, I cannot say that I have ever loved STM more.

    Also, if you look into ancient Mongolian history, there were recorded legends of local "magicians" raising the dead bodies after battles to have them walk out of the cities, and the war generals were said to have heads preserved in jars that would moan and try to bite through the glass.

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