Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20110718

July 18 2011

"How do blind people know they're done wiping? How?"

 or click here

A very good question STM raises. Do we have any blind readers out there who would care to illuminate?
"Argh! You love my boat! It's the best splashy splashy time anyone can have. I'll slit your throat for a gold coin. Argh! Argh, argh. Splishy splashy time."
 or click here

Ah, the Dread Pirate STM has returned.


24 comments:

  1. Fantastic Princess Bride reference, Karen - Well done :)

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  2. Your comment, "Do we have any blind readers out there?" is a problem within itself.

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  3. Evan - Not at all! I think there are plenty of sight-disabled people out there using screen readers. Imagine how funny STM quotes would sound in that computerized monotone voice. -Karen

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  4. You got love the contrast between "splishy splashy time" and "I'll slit your throat" in the second quote.
    I guess you could say he's sort of... Wishy-washy.

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  5. "Blind readers" *snigger* what an oxymoron. Lets just stop the PC bus for a sec and enjoy this.

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  6. Somewhere in Canada18 July 2011 at 21:52

    bidet

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  7. The bidet works for me! That way you can have blind wiping, and splishy splashy at the same time!

    You're shit out of luck on the gold coins, though, Adam!

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  8. Well, I don't know about any other visually-impaired folks out there (and yes, we can read!), but I can tell by the, er, feel of the toilet paper as it, er, slides past my rectal area if I'm clean without looking (although I'm not fully blind). Fairly recently I began using moist wipes (unscented, always unscented!) for the finish-up of #2 jobs, and that's quite nice. Cuts down on TP usage a bit, too. And now you know.

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  9. Wow, I'm really surprised that some people are unaware that blind people can read webpages using screen readers. "Blind reader" is absolutely accurate.

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  10. I'm not blind, but I've never used my eyes to wipe my bum!

    How would you look up there any way? Am I missing the mirror on the floor that everyone else has? Or what, look at the used toilet paper? Gross.

    Can't people tell they are clean just by feel, or did my parents teach me a superpower unknowingly? I guess it will come in handy if I ever go blind.

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  11. This's probably the best comment thread I've ever read.

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  12. I echo the sentiments of Anonymous@06:06. Also, kudos for MsChilePepper for answering a very personal question.

    And to a bunch of you guys: screen readers. They exist. So does this, although AIUI Braille is not as widely-used as it used to be.

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  13. These comments are getting very, very phylosofic... Discovering how blind people cleans the * is really a very deep mystery.

    I think they can use their more sensitive tact sense to feel when "everything" is ok (Oh, images are forming in my mind)...

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  14. @ Anon:

    Most people look at the used toilet paper. It's a first world problem.

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  15. Eddie Murphy used to do a routine about blind people knowing when they were done wiping. I wonder if STM saw that years ago and now it is coming to the surface.

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  16. I asked a friend and he said " your body compensated for a lack of one sense by heightening another, such as touch"

    Lmao

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  17. Its weird i imagine the sleep talking includes adult and child memories mixed together. Either that or his mind is wired in Invader Zim mode during sleep.

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  18. I'm not answering the question. But I do have this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=it5PkxHmOHU

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  21. It's a myth that one sense becomes better when you lose another. You just pay attention better. My eyesight is nearly noncorrectable, so I almost fall into that lovely group of deaf-blind. My eyesight and touch have not improved.

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