Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20110901

Sep 1 2011

"Hallelujah! I put the chicken in the vegetarian curry. Praise the bird! Praise the bird!"

 or click here

Well, we're back on the vegetarians again! And then there was this:
"Eyes. Oh, your eyes. Stop them! No! They're trying to eat my face! Bizarre. Oh. Ohhhhh." (followed by a series of horrifying noises utterly impossible to transcribe)
 or click here

And here's the reveal:


 or click here
ADAM: (waking suddenly) Oh shit, what's the time?
KAREN: 6:14. Give me a moment, can you give me just a second? Okay: you're a freak!
ADAM: I love you too.
KAREN: Oh my god. Before you woke up, you were saying, "No, your eyes, they're going to eat me!" But then, you started making this noise... I can't...
ADAM: What are you trying to say?
KAREN: I got really freaked out, to be honest. I can't even do it. I can't do anything even remotely resembling, and I bet you couldn't even do it awake.
ADAM: I'll have to hear it. Is it like the noises you've heard before?
KAREN: No! No! It's like nothing I've ever heard before. Okay, I'm going to try really hard to do my best approximation. (to self) How would you make that noise... Something like (makes a noise that just barely resembles the actual noise...) You did it for a long time. It was horrible. I actually got kind of scared. I don't know what I mean by that, 'cause I wasn't scared in any kind of rational way that something would happen to you—
ADAM: You were frightened about the eyes eating me?
KAREN: No!
ADAM: Okay, good. 'Cause that've been silly.
KAREN: It was... just the noise, I can't explain it.
ADAM: Well I don't feel weird about myself now!

38 comments:

  1. I think I pulled a muscle trying not to laugh in my very quiet office at that second one. I failed too.

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  2. Maybe you should sell that noise as a ring tone.

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  3. LMFAO!!! I was laughing so hard that my husband came in from the other room to figure out what on earth I was laughing so hard at!! Those noises were absolutely magnificent! My stomach muscles are sore now, Thank you STM!!!

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  4. Karen, I completely agree. That series of noises was terrifying. Your creeped out feeling was totally justified, in my opinion. No offense, Adam, but STM was on another plane for a bit. *shiver* Loved the reveal, though. :)

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  5. Hahahahaha!
    This post just made my morning.
    I'm going to have a good day.

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  6. I think he's doing the Pac-Man noise?

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  7. It's the sound of eyes eating somebody's face. How could it not be horrifying?   8^)

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  8. Oh Karen, Karen, don't you realize STM was referring to the movie The Crawling Eye staring Forrest Tucker? More than that, those weird sounds were obviously from a sci-fi B movie.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8xvlN5yjKg

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  9. The comments made me laugh.
    Yes, nothing like the sound of eyes eating someone early in the morning, and then the sound of the test pattern on the TV from the 1950s. (I'm sure Youtube has something on that.)

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  10. NO! The end of the sound is a flatline! The eyes KILLED HIM!

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  11. @Kate, that's what I thought too. It was a "flatline" But the earlier part was kinda like pacman...Maybe it was the chicken eyes from the vegetarian curry??

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  12. What does he have against us vegetarians? Anyway, I would definitely say that was a bad sci-fi. Don't you start getting nightmares, too, Karen! (How do you ever actually sleep, anyway?)

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  13. I think he was speaking alien and telling alien eye to BACK OFF! :)

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  14. The first one made me laugh. My BD looked at me funny whilst chopping potatoes :L

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  15. It sounds like someones teeth rubbing against an inflated balloon.

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  16. Maybe they're like Langoliers... eyeball Langoliers...

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  18. Anonymous said...

    It sounds like someones teeth rubbing against an inflated balloon.
    1 September 2011 21:02

    And you know how this sounds, how? ;)

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  19. Hahahhahahahaha! Oh my gosh I laughed so hard when he started making that noise!

    x
    culinarilychallenged.blogspot.com

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  20. Oh, I should not have been drinking milk when I listened to that, the first or second time. I wonder what Adam had to say after he heard the noises?

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  21. BAHAHA!!!! I laughed so hard at the noises I almost peed myself!

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  22. I apologize, but I am afraid these noises where not in the least bit scary to me :P I don't quite get what the big deal is. Funny reveal though.

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  23. I think he was trying to channel Mork from Ork. and then Ghandi came along to instill the peace.
    rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr oooooooooooooommmmmmmm
    atleast that's what it sounded like to me... not the least bit scarey in any form.

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  24. "Praise the bird" is so proximate to "Praise the Lord" and thus perfectly completes what began as "Hallelujah." The wild unconscious. Love it.

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  25. eyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeye

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  26. I swear those 'weird noises' at the end are him saying oy e oy e oy e, and a definite flatline sound at the very end :)

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  27. Seriously, can't believe how many people are stupid enough to believe these are real. It's so blatantly (badly) acted, it's unreal.

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  28. Seriously, can't believe how many people are stupid enough to think we *care* if it's real.

    I happen to believe it is. I believe that because, first, it reminds me of a profilic sleep-talker in my own life, and second, when the blog started it was for the enjoyment of their real-life friends, not a commercial venture--so what would be the point of faking it?

    Sure, I could be wrong; it could be fake. That wouldn't take away my enjoyment of it, though. It's still funny. You think otherwise? You probably live in a free country, so feel free to feck off.

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  29. Believe it or not, that sound was actually familiar to me once I'd heard it. My ex used to have night terrors where he too would talk aloud and sometimes make similar noises. That usually meant he was being attacked by something. Maybe that's what horrific screams sound like in dreamland.

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  30. I was going to suggest that perhaps he was singing, but then I read the other comments, and I much prefer their explanations.

    And anyone who thinks it's fake has clearly never spent night after night with a sleep-talker! My other half bangs on about the strangest things, including hopping marches and orders to not chase bee hives...

    Not been on here in a while, I have missed STM!

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  31. Have you ever seen The Fourth Kind? I'm pretty sure your husband gets abducted every night! LOL

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  32. Cthulu Ftaghn!

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  35. Oh my gosh, those NOISES. I am in stitches, that is the most hysterically funny thing I have ever heard. XD

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  36. Huh. I wonder if maybe he was dreaming he was one of the Pacman ghosts...Those throat noises at the end could be the ever iconic sound of 'Waka waka' and, if I remember correctly, after you munched the ghosts they were just a floating pair of eyes until they could get back to the square in the middle.

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