"I'm so magic, I puke rainbows and shit pixie dust."
or click here"Tsk tsk tsk. Oh dear. Dear, dear, dear. Thirty-seven dangleberries, and not one dingle enough. What the fuck's it coming to these days? Fuck it. Dangleberries it is."
or click here
And the ensuing conversation in the morning...
or click here
| ADAM: | Dangleberry? |
| KAREN: | Yeah. |
| ADAM: | You know they're not berries. |
| KAREN: | Yeah. Yeah, I know. Thanks. |
| ADAM: | And you know what the clinical term for dangleberry is? |
| KAREN: | Yeah? |
| ADAM: | Bum grapes. |
| KAREN: | I've never heard that term. |
| ADAM: | Yeah. Bum grapes... Anusol! |
| KAREN: | The medicine? |
| ADAM: | It's the worst-named medicine in the world if you have to go to the pharmacist. |
| KAREN: | "I'd like some ANUSOL please?" |
| ADAM: | Everybody knows exactly what's wrong with you. |
| KAREN: | Even if they've never heard of the medicine, they now know. |
| ADAM: | The thing is, you can pick it up from the shelf in the supermarket, go to the cashier, "Can somebody give me a price on the Anusol please!?" Everybody in the supermarket knows, you've got bum grapes. Oh dear. |
The first quote really needs that illustrator.
ReplyDeleteUM, not to be a pedant, but dangleberries and bum grapes aren't the same thing where I come from. Bum grapes are Emma Freuds, Farmer Giles, piles. Dangleberries are also winnits or tagnuts and are little bits of excrement clinging to the arse hairs of someone either too unskilled or too lazy to apply the Cushelle in the correct fashion until clean. BUt you're so right about Anusol. It's be like renaming Viagra as Nobby-no-flop
ReplyDeleteThat first one needs to be on a t-shirt. I demand it. And promise to wear it at work.
ReplyDeleteRainbows and pixie dust!!! I want that on a coffee mug!
ReplyDeleteDangleberries are also a kind of huckleberry. Oh dear, can you imagine Dangleberry Finn?
ReplyDeleteAnusol? Don't forget Vagisil.
ReplyDeleteGod, why am I posting this?
DINGLEBERRIES
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