Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20111230

Dec 30 2011

"No, you're NOT going out like that. Your feathers all ruffled and beak covered in that nasty lipstick, and that excuse for a skirt. You look like one of those street-corner dirty chickens. Go back upstairs and put something decent on. You live under my coop, you behave and you dress like a good chicken! This is hard-boiled love, you know."

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I guess that makes STM a cock.

And to support that theory, here is how he woke Adam up:


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STM: (suddenly slaps Adam in the face)
ADAM: Ow!
KAREN: Baby? What was that?
ADAM: I think I was attacked.
KAREN: By what?
ADAM: A rogue hand. It's not even having an attempt to try and hide. It's still there, on my face. I know exactly who did it. This isn't the kind of thing Miss Marple's needed for, this isn't Murder She Wrote, my hand is STILL ON MY FACE. I do have an itch, funny enough, but unfortunately it's not in the place where I've smacked myself in the head, so I need answers. But it's not talking. I don't think I'll ever ever understand why my hand hates my face so much! WHY?! What have I done to you??!

17 comments:

  1. Lol, STM is a cock and his chickens have to look nice. I can totally see this in a comic style version, like Loony Toons or something. ;)

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  2. The best thing is Adam is just as witty when he's awake. He's just more random at night.

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  3. On the Chicken one...
    Dad? Is that you?

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  4. that's hard-boiled bullshit :D

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  5. I look unusually cool to the degree of not being decent. deal with it.

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  6. on a more serious note30 December 2011 at 15:01

    I'm on Wonderland, but you should read Slapstick too.

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  7. It's like if STM was somehow channeling Gary Larson.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gary_Larson

    Only he's mixing up the one where the bug tells his daughter to wash off that gallon of pheromones and the one where the chickens try to put lipstick on.

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  8. OH, poor Adam. It's all those naughty things he did as a lonely teenager that make his hand hate him so much...
    :p

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  9. Has Gonzo become a prude in his middle age? 7@=Q

    And Adam: Talk to the face, 'cause the hand ain't listenin'.......

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  10. You really want to see that House episode, with the patient whose life is sabotaged, due to the left arm being controlled by the "other" lobe ... It all works out when the lobes "make up" to each other ...

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  11. celebrating featherZ in the AIR, wheeeeee.....31 December 2011 at 15:48

    coup'd'grass, a novelty garden stake is born...
    i thunk i luv these newsome hard boiled plastic
    -blowin'in the wind- corner gadgetry on parts of my stake of lawn property, slap smack 'n kickin'abowtie in a comedy skit window scheme to enjoy this new years eve, however snow'n'blowin'...that's a high fiver and facin' the music of a bird in the hand;

    (o-my 2hands to the face, itchin' to say,
    itz O.K. dork.ay down'n dirty ckicken in a goodie bag way...that the WHY; partyfavors)

    awk awk twe-eet, !2012!
    smacka-liscious 2u'nyurs!?!

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  12. What the hell? STM doesn't talk on the weekends anymore?

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  13. whatever, I fucking love your poem1 January 2012 at 20:13

    and I wrote one of similar length, but it had paranoid overtones. mostly concerning a half-african man I met this morning. and eyes. he said my eyes are beautiful - no homo. the point was that whatever you do is fine with me, but I couldn't do the same things. the poem itself was good, I know I'm talented. so if you can think of it as an artistic piece, and you won't take it too seriously and if you want to read it, let me know

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  15. Wow, that little tirade there sounds like something I would say.

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  16. Wow, that little tirade there sounds like something I would say.

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