Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts.
Views expressed by Sleep Talkin' Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.
Especially the desire to exterminate all vegetarians (but he does hate lentils.)

20120516

May 16 2012

"No, I'm not a god. I'm a king. No one knows who God is. But a king, a king gets to wear a mother-fucking crown! And a big-ass cape. Yeah."

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And here is how Adam woke himself up. I should mention that my mom and step-father are visiting, and were sleeping in our extra bedroom down the hall.


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STM: COCK SOUP!
KAREN: giggles
ADAM: God, I hope no one heard anything.
KAREN: giggles some more
ADAM: Was it bad?
KAREN: Do you know what you yelled?
ADAM: I only got the "oup", so god knows what it could be. Was it bad? Oh god, it was, wasn't it?!
KAREN: Well, you yelled, "cock soup."
ADAM: ... I don't want that with dumplings.

15 comments:

  1. So, did the parents hear what was for dinner?

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  2. I absolutely love STM's musings! He's had me laughing to the point of tears so many times. Thank you for sharing all of these with us! As a fellow sleep talker (walker, and eater) I share in his embarrassment :P

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  3. Hah! His reasoning for rather wanting to be a king is awesome! :D Crown and big-ass cape! Yeah! 8)

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  4. Must not have read Revelation; God gets lots of crowns. Still no cape though. So I guess it's a toss up between the two.

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    1. Sleep talkers are in absolutely no way responsible for what they say or do once asleep. Take no offense, friend. It's here for humor and nothing more.

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    2. I realize that. I was simply trying to be humorous as well. No offense was taken. I've laughed and many if not all of STM's verbal stabs at God and/or religion.

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    3. In your imagination.

      God gets lots of crowns IN YOUR IMAGINATION.

      Why in your imagination? Because GOD DOESN'T ACTUALLY BLOODY EXIST.

      And if you're going to insist that he does, ask yourself this: do you really want to believe in a "ever-loving" God who would subject billions of people to eternal damnation and torment in hell because they were brought up to believe in the wrong religion?

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  5. I don't want that without dumplings either!

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  6. I just noticed something! Adam when he's asleep, sounds just like Ozzy Osbourne when Ozzy's awake!

    I wonder if there's some connection!

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    Replies
    1. So... Ozzy when asleep must, logically, sound like Adam.

      Good lord, does his wife Sharon know? Should we expect a competing blog?

      ...no, probably not - Ozzy's probably even more incoherent when asleep than he is awake.

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    2. Amazing isn't it? A man who can sing so well, be completely unable to speak!

      I know the drugs were many back in the day for Ozzy, and I know he didn't them down! He and Lemmy Kilmister served a great good by using all the drugs up, and leaving none for the teenagers!

      Both have suffered much in this endeavor! I wonder if, perhaps, that only they can communicate with each other in this weird kind of kindred link.....unless there's a rock band!

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  7. I wonder if STM was listening to Banjo & Sullivan at the time?

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  8. goodsgarden

    Hello,I love reading through your blog, I wanted to leave a little comment to support you and wish you a good continuation.

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